Welcome family and loved ones of sailors serving on USS Kearsarge, homeport Norfolk, VA! Please be sure to review and observe the OPSEC guidelines below to keep our sailors safe :) Introduce yourself and join in the chat! Current group Admin: Marcy ~ Corpsman Mom
1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for six months straight.
2. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home, i.e. dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc.
3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray."
4. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to ten degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.
5. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.
6. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.
7. Raise your bed to within six inches of the ceiling.
8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5 a.m., blow a whistle so loud that the Almighty could hear it and shout "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."
9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the backyard at 6 a.m. while she reads it to you.
10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours and hang a sign on the door that reads "Secured - contact OA division at X-3053."
11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's OK for you to leave your house before 3 p.m.
12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for six months. After the six months is up, take down the boards and wave through the front window at your friends and family as they leave -youcan't leave until the next day, you have duty.
13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.
14. Walk around your car for four hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.
15. Sit in your car and let it run for four hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lighted off."
USS Kearsarge (LHD-3)
128 members
Description
Welcome family and loved ones of sailors serving on USS Kearsarge, homeport Norfolk, VA! Please be sure to review and observe the OPSEC guidelines below to keep our sailors safe :) Introduce yourself and join in the chat! Current group Admin: Marcy ~ Corpsman Mom
"How to Simulate Life in the Navy" will bring a smile! :)
by Marcy ~ Corpsman Mom
Jun 21, 2012
Pretty funny stuff!
How to Simulate Life in the Navy
"HOW TO SIMULATE LIFE IN THE NAVY"
1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for six months straight.
2. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home, i.e. dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc.
3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray."
4. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to ten degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.
5. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.
6. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.
7. Raise your bed to within six inches of the ceiling.
8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5 a.m., blow a whistle so loud that the Almighty could hear it and shout "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."
9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the backyard at 6 a.m. while she reads it to you.
10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours and hang a sign on the door that reads "Secured - contact OA division at X-3053."
11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's OK for you to leave your house before 3 p.m.
12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for six months. After the six months is up, take down the boards and wave through the front window at your friends and family as they leave - you can't leave until the next day, you have duty.
13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.
14. Walk around your car for four hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.
15. Sit in your car and let it run for four hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lighted off."
16. Repaint your entire house once a month.