I just saw this post come up in my email and literally dropped everything to respond! I FEEL YOUR PAIN! My husband and I are recently married and we don't have any children. But bootcamp was when his mother started to show her true colors! We had planned on getting married as soon as he got out of basic. And when this woman found out pulled a 180! She went from being fun, inviting me out to dinner with his family, texting me, to ignoring me, telling family members that I'm forcing him to leave her out and forcing him to marry me.  Which obviously wasn't the case. She was livid that he didn't ask HER if he could get married! whhhhat? yes. She expected him to talk to her about it before hand. She went as far as to tell him not to marry me. She had OTHER people send him emails, not to marry me. We obviously did anyway. She didn't even acknowledge our marriage for at least 6 months after that while not speaking to him for a good 3 of them! Prior to us getting married he was still on his families auto insurance and cellphone plan just because it was cheaper, he paid them his part of the bill every month. She went as far as to cancel him off of everything without notifying us (even if it broke contracts) and sending us the bill and "oh btw you don't have car insurance any more". Which we're glad none of his bills are associated with them any more but a heads up would have been nice!

But anyways! Back to boot camp. She tried to compete with me in the amount of letters I would send my husband and did indeed get mad that he wrote me more than her. She also said she knew more than me about everything that was going on because her husband was in the air force. She also was irritated that he invited me to his PIR! They would sit in the lobby and wait for us to come out of our hotel room when we would go relax during the day. And have the nerve to comment saying "ready to spend time with your family?!"  So I KNOW how ridiculous jealous mother in laws can be! And frankly its ridiculous. 

This was over a year ago and she still tries to go behind my back sometimes. When he was still in A-school she would want to drive up and see him and so mad that she wouldn't speak to him if he told her he just wanted it to be us two that weekend. Some people have a hard time letting go, whether its letting go of their "little boy" or letting go of the feeling that she wants but isn't getting any more. 

My best advice is to take up meditation! Theres nothing you can do to make her be "less crazy" you can try to have your husband talk to her about her behavior but thats kind of difficult when he's in basic. She is acting this way because she wants attention and she wants to be the one he "needs". Which obviously isn't the case, her son is a man with his own family. I feel like its a control thing, honestly. 

Also I've started just appeasing here because its easier. It kills my pride but sometimes I just can't deal with the drama. I have more important things to worry about. And some people never change. No matter how they "act" GOOD LUCK!

I usually just kept to myself about how many letters I got. I felt like it was none of her business and that telling her was rubbing it in. Same with my sister-in-law. They know deep down that I'm number one, but they don't need to hear how many more letters I got. That will only lead your mother-in-law to complain to him which will stress him out. I ended up getting closer to my mother-in-law during boot camp because she somewhat used me for info. I say play it smart, and keep your mouth shut. Then she'll realize if she wants info she has to ask you for it and you only have to disclose what you feel like. Instead of her complaining about how much you know, she'll be thankful for the info you gave her. Good luck!