Anyone out there balancing being a mom with a son in OCS whose married? I want to do the mom things, but be respectful his wife and not overstep. 

hi we are extremely new with the whole military life. Our son was in the 09/18 class but we received a call on friday night from him telling us he didn't make it thru the physical test so he is on hold and will now be graduating April 27. this past week has been extremely hard with lots and lots of tears. I would like to reach out to other moms in the same situation for mutual support and any helpful advice 

For cosmic67:  We were in a similar situation in April 2017--our son (Class 14-17) didn't pass the first physical test and was "rolled" and placed in Holding class.  Although it wasn't the desired outcome of his first week there, I think it turned out to be a blessing.  I think most people who have had experience with a loved one "rolling" will state the same.  Whenever they are in Holding, there are people in place to work with them on whatever their deficiency was.  Also, this gives them extra time to be studying everything they need to know, stamp all their belongings, etc.  When they pass and hopefully class up to the next incoming class, they usually end up being more prepared, know what to expect, and are usually looked up to as a leader by many of the incoming candidates.  Write encouraging letters (I wrote two a week), and be as positive and encouraging as you can. While in Holding, they typically get phone privileges on the weekend to call you (once), and they also get to call one person when they class back up to the next incoming class.  My son stated in his letters that it didn't matter how long it took him, he was going to finish. The silver lining in our situation was that if he had graduated with 13-17, he would have had his orders to report and miss his only sibling's wedding (his sister).  However, his rolling made him graduating 3 weeks later, and able to be home for her wedding.  Our August 2017 was busy--OCS Graduation one weekend and a wedding the next.  Encourage, encourage, encourage--we kept telling him he could do it, this is what he has worked for, and what an honor to be selected, believe in yourself because we believe in you, etc. Best wishes to you and your loved one (LO).

I totally agree with cosmic67, encouragement and more letters.  My son rolled twice, once for the physical test and another for an injury.  Many tears on both sides.  Keep up with words of encouragement and praise.  Blessings to you both.

Opps.  Sorry for the confusion, I mixed moms around--cosmic67 and lew64.  

cosmic64: Many of us moms/families have been where you are, either for PT or an injury and know what you are going through. After you get past the initial disappointment, you will likely come to realize that the only downside is that rolling into H class pushes out your reunion by 3 weeks. The upside is that you should have a chance to talk to him for a weekend or two which allows you to "ease" into being cut off a bit. It really does allow them to master what it was they may have missed but also prepare for future tests. This time and prep does enable them to become a leader of the class they roll into because they have had more time for figure out the "game".  In the first letter my son sent he explained "Everyone tells you it’s a game here, but not in the way you would expect. As it turns out, you play the game by trying to learn the rules. Very little is written down, everything is word of mouth and networking.  In between yelling at you (it’s all an act) the upper classmen will drop into a whisper and give advice on how to properly fold a garment or perform a maneuver. In H class, there are even letters with advice hidden all over. All the students here are helpful and extremely kind to one another."

If you haven't joined the Friends and Family facebook page for the class that your son started in, I would still do that. It will give you information on what is coming and you can relay that insight to the F&F of the class he rolls back into.

Best wishes. You are not alone.

THANK-YOU all for your replies. I am so happy to have found  this site to be able to get and share support and advice with you strong women. I know our son can do this and I will stay strong for him thanx again, PEACE

For the Class 09-18 mom who asked when they post pictures on the NAVY OCS facebook page, it looks like they posted photos this morning. There is now a "OCS Class 09-18" album on that page where they will post that classes photos on occasion through graduation. I hope you can spot your LO but even if you don't, at least you will know what they are doing.

To the new OCS Moms:

You will hear more from your loved one after they receive email privileges, usually after they pass the big "RLP" (room, locker and personnel) inspection at week 3-4.  

The RLP is a meticulous inspection of the candidate's room, gear, and uniforms, while the candidate is standing at attention and screaming out the answers to Navy knowledge questions posed by the drill instructor, who is inspecting all the candidate's gear and bed with a ruler to measure that it is folded just so.  It is nerve-wracking, as you could imagine, but the candidates usually work together as a team (which is expected) to help every classmate pass.   My son was good at shining shoes, so he shined others' boots and shoes, and others tightly made his bed, etc.   My son said the DI measured his boot laces with a ruler (as he was wearing them) to see if the hanging tails of the laces were exactly the same length!   They are that picky!!!!   Those who don't pass on the first try usually get a second chance a few days later, and their classmates pitch in to help them, but some still do "roll back" if they don't pass a second time.

When they get email privileges, you will get an email from something ending like: @navy.mil.   They will be emailing from a closed government server, and will NOT have access to their usual email program or Facebook, etc. or their own phones, so they will have to type in your entire email address including the @ and won't be able to just scroll down their contacts list and click on "MOM."  If you think your loved one may not remember your email address from memory, send them a letter now with a list of all the email addresses they might want.   

OCS policies change constantly, but it used to be that they were not allowed access to their personal phones until they became "Candi-O's" at week ten, but were sometimes allowed to use the pay phones with a pre-paid phone card on the weekends.  They will be allowed to call you if they get rolled, so no news is good news for the first few weeks!

Hello!

New here. My fiance just rolled from the 09-18 class and will be starting up with 10-18 soon. He was prior service in the army, so though not new to the military, we are completely new to the way the navy does things!

Would like to keep up with any questions or information anyone has to offer here! Look forward to getting to know you all.

PS. Would definitely love to get to know any wives/fiances/girlfriends whose significant others will be in the 10-18 class!

Also, here is the facebook group for family & friends of the 10-18 class, just in case!

OCS Class 10-18 Friends and Family : 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1969559913305046/about/

Welcome heyloworld and other newbies,

Scroll back through the posts on this forum and the above "discussion forum" and read as much as you have time.  We have probably answered many of your questions already in prior posts. Especially note the policy of sending ONLY letters to your candidate!

 My son was in OCS five years ago, and policies are constantly changing, so my knowledge may not be exactly current, and I may have to defer to the more recent OCS moms, but we are here for you!  OCS is a stressful time for the families as well as the candidates!  I found lots of support here when my son was at OCS, so I try to "pay it forward."

Welcome Peanut!

Thank you so much M's mom! 

Hi, I have a question - I have been preparing to send a Candio Box to my son when the time comes.  Does anyone have guidelines of what can go into this box?  I have been researching online and some say food can be in the box, some say I can not send food.  Any help is much appreciated.

Hi, we received a welcome letter from the training Commander.  Currently, all food items after considered contraband.  Our LO asked us NOT to send a box which we will respect.  Others probably feel differently.  Today is the first RLP inspection.  Praying for success for all.

Hi, I was wondering if they get leave after OCS, or do they have to report right away with their new orders?  Also, does anyone know when they get their orders for after OCS? Is it before graduation or at graduation?

Thanks!

Hello, my son graduated 01-18 and it all depends on what they are doing after graduation.  My son is an NFO and had his orders the day before graduation so he was able to leave right after graduation.  He came home for six weeks for home town recruiting and then he had to report to Pensacola.  I know it is different for everyone.  I know some didn't have their orders after graduation and had to stay.  There are a lot of factors that go into it but I know a lot leave right after.

I am just learning about Hi Moms reception.  Does anyone know the dress code for that, as well as the graduation?

Thanks for the info on dress code and that we will be leaving right after they are commissioned.  Another question, what time is the Hi Moms reception normally and how long does it last?  Wondering what time to make the reservation for.

Martha,

My son's graduation was this past October and Hi Moms was at 5:00 p.m. and graduation was the next morning at 10:00 a.m. People wore both casual or quite dressy.  It is what you prefer.  A lot were in dresses and the men in sport coats and ties during both events.  Hope this helps!

My son's was about a year ago. Started at 5:30 and the whole thing was over by 6:30 but people slowly left, some wanting to get pictures with each other and with the commanding officers. A 7:00 reservation might be rushing it but a 7:30 reservation would be about right if yours is like ours. I don't know if they vary in length, but it looks like they do since some of the people have posted that they take a lot longer.

BuckyGM,

I think getting leave depends on their orders. Mine has had a temporary duty assignment back at home because the next school he needed did not have a class available until the end of February.  He had his orders in hand the week before graduation but said others were still waiting for theirs either that afternoon or the following week.  Sometimes they are on "hold" until all the paperwork is in order and what they are rated as (mine is a submariner).

Martha,

When my son was at OCS five years ago, they could get goodies in their Candio boxes, but I understand food has been prohibited now.  Just as well.  The candidates have not  been allowed to have dessert or any sweets in the chow hall for 10 weeks, so when they all got their Candio boxes at ten weeks containing homemade cookies and their favorite treats, they all gorged themselves and made themselves sick.  (My son said it was worth it. haha)   Lots of it got thrown away anyway, because they only have two weeks to graduation at that point and if all the relatives sent goodie boxes, most of it got tossed uneaten, so just as well that OCS has ruled no more food.

As far as what TO send, I suppose they might like a few magazines about a subject that interests them, but the Candios are now running the training regiment, so they have little time for relaxation, although it is not as intense as the first few weeks.  You might ask your candidate if there is something they would especially like for you to send them!

buckyGM, As others have written, the new Ensigns can leave right after graduation is over IF they have their orders.  Then as soon as they gather their gear and check out of their room, they are free to go.   The orders begin trickling in a few weeks before graduation, but some still do not have orders at graduation, and must stay in Newport until the orders come, which could be weeks. 

They don't automatically get "leave" after OCS.  I have heard of some OCS graduates having to report to their next school on the Monday right after graduation!!!   It depends on when the next class in the school of their designator starts.   My son got his orders on Wednesday before graduation Friday, and he was given ten days "travel time" to report to his next school. He had flown to OCS, as did my husband and I, so my son was able to get a ticket on the same flight home as us; then he had ten days to pack his worldly belongings into his vehicle and report to duty at his next school.  That also gave him some time to find housing at the new base.

Some OCS grads find that their next school will not start for several months, so they are sent home to work in the local recruiting office in the meantime.  Your Ensign will simply not be able to make any plans to come home after OCS until they see their orders, which may or may not arrive by graduation. 

I know it is frustrating for all, but this is how the military is. The service members and families just have to learn to roll with whatever and whenever the Navy commands.  "Semper Gumby" --Always Flexible, they say.   haha 

Good things to include in candio box (only if they want one): boot shine (black), lint roller, pictures, handwritten notes from friends and family, a special comfy t-shirt they might have left at home, favorite comic strips cut out from the paper, a Navy water bottle. Be careful with things you might think are okay, like I thought a deck of cards would be okay (as they get into candio phase they have slightly more down time) but I was advised against it by officer on the facebook page. Use the officer (who acts as a liaison for information) on your class's facebook page for any questions. They are very helpful.

My son graduated OCS two months ago and I learned a lot about the process.  Hi Mom, normally 5pm, most people dress nice, but a handful dressed casual.  If they choose the Officer's club, there will be a lot of tasty finger foods. I would not recommend a big restaurant afterwards. We saved that for about 1pm on Friday. The wait in restaurants were minimal and we were very hungry so we enjoyed it (the white seafood pizza at the Red Parrot makes a great appetizer!). Grad ceremony: most people dressed very nice. Plan to stay and do first salute photos afterwards, but don't plan the coin tradition. It is no longer supported by OCS.  Since I am retired military, I wore my uniform and gave my son his salute, but many others got it from the DI or one of the other staff members. Try to find out what side your LO will be sitting on for best views. I wish I could say there were no inconsiderate people obsessively holding up cell phones, but it happened.  My son said everyone had to be out of the barracks by the start of the ceremony.  We had him load all of his uniforms and belongings in our SUV and dealt with it later.  As far as orders, he got them the day before graduation, so it was tough to plan where he was going until the last minute. My son said it really never mattered if people used colorful envelops for mail since it was one of their classmates who was assigned to distribute mail. Still, we stuck with white since we bought a whole box! Candio box: Pinterest has SO many ideas for decorating the inside!  Micheal's had a lot of stickers and lettering. True that no food is allowed. We made a small scapebook using the class photos that are posted on the Officer Command School Newport facebook page.  Son loved it!  Also added water bottle with Navy logo, all weather pocket notebook, black Fox River socks, cushiony shoe inserts, a decorated wooden anchor, and a Starbucks card.  Hope this helps for the family members out there navigating this whole new world! 

I am not sure I understand what a Candio box is and when you are sending it to your candidate....graduation is normally on what day of the week?

Thank you

Candio box is mailed out during the 8th week and the candidate opens it during the 9th week when they go from officer candidates to candidate officers, (when they have finished all rollable events).  It is basically a care package, but it is decorated on the inside, usually in a Navy theme. You can get a large flat rate prepaid box at the post office. Go to Google images or Pinterest and you'll see examples of decorations and suggestions for contents. Do not send food though!.  Address the box with the normal mailing address and largely - and very clearly - write "CANDIO BOX" on all sides of the box. This will help prevent your package being delivered too early, or too late, to your candidate. Some classes will not receive boxes until Thursday or Friday, depending on their class team. (Graduation is on a Friday morning. The Hi Mom reception is the night before).

Thank you! appreciate it!

Does OCS still allow Candio boxes in 2018?

PKM- my son was 01-18 and we sent a candio box. Have seen others share they have since that class in early October. 

Does anyone know how many friends/family members can attend OCS graduation? 

PKM,    I think OCS still allows Candio boxes to be sent, but they are NOT to contain any food items, as they could in years past. (See Liz's post below.)

When my son graduated OCS five years ago, there wasn't any limit to how many guests could attend graduation, but each candidate must submit in advance a list of guests coming and, I believe, each one's Social Security number, so they may be checked for security risks.  The list will be at the base gate when you come in for graduation, and each adult in the car must have some form of photo ID, which the guards will check against the list, so be prepared for that. No surprise last-minute guests, as they may be refused entry!

Graduation seating is unreserved, so get there very early if you have a crowd coming.  As for the Hi Moms reception the night before, the candidates themselves will be paying for each of their guests attending, so some families leave the "kids" back at the hotel, and just the adults attend that.  

Thank you for the information. Anyone know if there is a campground by the base in Newport. Also, Is there a time when the chances of being rolled back at done? Just wanting to now when it is safe to buy airline tickets for OCS Graduation? 

PKM,    I don't know about campgrounds.  Anyone searching for hotels for OCS graduation should search in "Middletown, RI" and not just Newport.  The base gates are actually closer to Middletown, where there are many reasonably priced chain hotels.  We stayed at the Holiday Inn Express in Middletown.  Hotels in Newport are more resort-type and therefore more expensive, especially Memorial Day to Labor Day.

As for rolling, candidates can be rolled back right up until graduation if they really screw up.  They have in the past been given off-base liberty the weekend before graduation, and some of them get stupid and have gotten hootched up on alcohol and got caught.  (Can you imagine how hard that phone call would be, to call your parents who have non-refundable plane tickets, and tell them not to come in three days because you won't be graduating after all?)    I'm sure your son would never do any such thing, but the point is, things can happen right up to the end.

We bought plane tickets on Southwest Airlines, which flies into Providence.  Southwest was the only airline that didn't charge a hefty ticket-change fee, at least they didn't used to.  

Thank you for the graduation information.  I will check out the hotels and IF there are campgrounds. I am sure I will find what we need. 

Hello - I am wondering if any OCS moms who have a love one currently going through OSC could give me an upcoming graduation date? I can then map out the weekends of summer graduations. My son graduated from OSC a couple of years ago and will be back in Newport this summer for additional training on base. We plan to visit him while he is there and thought that we would try to avoid a graduation weekend. It is Newport in the summer so even avoiding a graduation weekend probably won't make a noticeable difference in the crowds but worth a try.  Thanks!

CL, my LO's grad date is May 18.  Good luck to your son in his training.

Andy'sMom - Thank you very much. That will help. Hope all is going well for your LO and you are on track to be in Newport in May.

I am new to this site.  Can I post a picture of the class dates and grad dates for OCS?

PKM, to answer your rollback dates, the program rollbacks are over in week 9, but like M's mom said, the candidate can cause a rollback weeks 9-12 through a behavior issue.  A medical issue can also cause a rollback in those last few weeks.

 Saw some photos of my son's OCS Class. It was great seeing what he was doing. I am looking forward to more photos. The graduation seems far away and yet, the time is starting to fly by. Writing letters has been a pleasure and receiving one a gift. 

Graduation date in 4/27.