Ship 5 Moms(Formerly Ship 17)

I am an OT in home health....is that crazy or what?!  Trying to think back on our visits with that psychiatrist, she probably put ADHD and oppositional defiance disorder (I think there is lots of opposition and defiance with a boy at that age!!).  I don't know what else.  The psychiatrist that he had before that one never wanted to put down anything other than ADHD for the fact that it could stick with them forever.  Sounds like he was overrun with psychiatrists eoesn't it?  But it was only about a year worth of time, and the first one left the practice and he referred us elsewhere.

Hi just wanted to give a little incite it's been almost a year my son left for bc Feb of 2014 was adhd without waiver recruiter knew and told not to disclose was going to be an IT taken meds through school stopped after grad and been off over year even his doc thought he'd be fine and thought would be good for him before leaving navy recruiter knew this all before and why he was there less than probably 36hrs moment of truth he stood up and disclosed he adhd was immediately removed from company and sent to ship 5 for seps was seen over at reu for series of test doctor was willing to waiver but took meds after age 14 couldn't help him because he failed to disclose was sep'd with fraudulent enlistment re8 so I am guessing maybe why your SR was allowed to proceed with bc stopped meds under that age cut off if something came up on security background check that has happened to numerous kids and I know one even stayed and appealed spent over 3 months on ship 5 only to be denied similar situation adhd off meds prior no waiver and was sep'd some kids get caught up on security back ground check being performed for top secret jobs others moment of truth and have been few with waiver for adhd and navy still seps them also if you haven't on facebook and think it may be helpful there is ship 5 a closed group with allot more info files and parents who have all been through and can be very informative sorry for this having to happen things happen for a reason sometimes different path open up my son is doing pretty well figuring all that he went through with the navy and ship 5 he did not want to reapply after 6 months working and pursing a career in the fire service as I have been last almost 20 yrs and a navy veteran myself good luck my thought and  prayers to all of you

Yes, but as an OT is in you to be proactive.  And yes, I see a lot with the diagnosis of oppositional defiance disorder and think to myself its no different than me and my mom when I was that age! LOL!! I know there a lot of issues with peds that are diagnosed correctly but I see everyday ones that are truly not and just a rebellious child or a parent that does not know the proper way to discipline.  Its like you want to do the right thing by having them checked but if you do something like this could happen,  Damned if you do and damned if you don't.  Just know that whatever the outcome it all happened for a reason.

Thank you xsubman.  Nice to hear someone talk about what happens after and that things do work out.  : )

Thank you xsubman for the insight.....so many situations, so many stories, but the outcomes seem generally the same.  I thought I found the facebook page and clicked to join, but haven't heard anything.  How do I find it?

For whatever reason our children chose this path, it was meant for something, whether they make it or not.  It will lead them to the direction they were meant to go.   I couldn't be more proud of each and everyone of them for their courage and bravery in trying.   

That is the truth!  I wrote to my son that if he can go through boot camp and go through this situation, he can DO ANYTHING!!!

xsubman - do you know of any situations in which SRs have actually won an appeal after staying on Ship 5?  I have read 60 pages on the Comment Wall, and didn't see any.

LoriM's daughter did.  Which is amazing and kudos to her.  I think in most of our situations though it is more what they are calling mental disorders or depression etc.  I believe in her case she was not R4 and it was the not doing the timed running the first time around.  She stuck it out and succeeded, most would not do that, pretty amazing : ) 

My daughter will be coming home next Wednesday. She sounded so happy. I hope all is going well with all of you : )

So glad to hear that, Sara.  Are you going to get her, or is she coming home on her own? 

My son has met with Legal, and he has a code of RE-8 (temporary medical condition).  He is meeting with a JAG lawyer on Monday, and based on those recommendations will decide to appeal there or come home.  He still wants to be in the Navy, but is looking at other options if he comes home.  He still wants to re-enlist, but I am not sure of the chances of that being possible.  I am so proud of him for navigating the situation and for his determination. 

How are you and your son, Nicole?

Good luck to your son Hank's MOM, I hope everything works out for him. And glad you are getting your daughter home Sara, I'm sure you are very happy. My son was just moved to SEPS yesterday morning, so I haven't heard from him except that he is there. So now our waiting game begins. Prayers for all our kids there, for all different reasons. Different roads but we all want the same for our kids... to be happy and healthy.

Hanksmom  that's great!! hope he gets whatever he chooses!! So happy for you and your son.  If its meant to be it will happen.  Nicole - Its not as bad as I read, Im actually thinking its doing her a lot of good. She is with people going through the same thing.  They are helping each other.  I was so angry at the beginning but in reality I think they may need this process to heal.  I wish your son to have what my daughter has found there.  And for hanksmom I hope it someone gives him the will power to fight!

Although we have not really been able to talk about anything but business, my son has said nothing negative about Ship 5 since his first morning there.  I do think that he has found others there that are helping him through this.  I wish that for all of them that are going through so much.

Hi All, I have read through many of the discussions. I have been able to gain some insights.

My SR has been in SEPS Ship5 since his second day. The short of if is that he has only given me bare info and just told me via email last night that he is being told  "Fraudulent Enlistment." He also plans to fight it at this time. I am really concerned for him.

My son was recently sent home after being separated for following the lead of his recruiter and not disclose that he was on meds for ADHD.

He got to boot camp and was honest.  They put him through several medial evals, which he passed, and promoted him to be petty board officer, guidon, and yeoman of his division. 

Unfortunately, he was still sent home.  Isaiah is living in a Discipleship House now and doing local mission work.  He is working full time and going to school for music production in the fall.

Hang in There!!  I know it feels like your whole world is falling apart but God has his hand on everything.  Isaiah had initially thought that he would try to re-enlist, but the situation had a large impact on him than he originally thought.  He has been so strong and we are very proud of him.

Your children will get through this!!  When it seems like your dream is gone another comes along.  God blesses us with the strength not only to go on, but to thrive.

Thank you, zaipai. We really need to hear about the "aftermath," both positive and negative.

I can only support my son from a distance and pray that God's hand is on him and the Holy Spirit with him as he makes himself very vulnerable.

Thank you also: Nicole, Hank'sMom, sara, Jim G, xsubman and LoriM. You have all helped just by allowing yourselves to be a bit vulnerable and sharing your/your child's stories as they unfold.

Zaipai.....good to know your son is doing well. It gives the rest of us encouragement to know everything happens as it should and to trust the process. Heidimom.....I know how you feel about your son being there. All we can do is support as much as we can with our phone conversations, our letters and of course prayers. If God lead our children there, they are learning a lesson that will benefit them down the road,,as are we. Being vulnerable is how we connect with one another. I appreciate all on here who have shared their stories, it has helped me tremendously. And hopefully our kids are making connections with others there to help them also.

If any of you have any questions, let me know.  I will try to help as much as I can by drawing from my situation.

Zaipai....how long was your son in SEPS from arrival to departure? What was your son's and your experience of it?

Nicole-My son was sent to SEPS on 11/6 and we picked him up from the airport on 11/21.  So just a day over two weeks.  He said that it was hard because they couldn't train and basically spent all day watching movies and cleaning.  He took advantage of all of the classes that they offered on careers and college and said that they were helpful.

Isaiah did say that some of kids were hard to deal with because they house all SEPS together even if it is for a psych reason.

Thanks for the info zaipai. I haven't talked to my son except to say he's arrived, he's just anxious to get home and talk to one of our colleges in town and move forward. 

Heidi - We all know how you are feeling, and you are not alone.  There is nothing like that phone call that tells you they are on Ship 5 and separation planned.  I don't know if I have even been so sad, depressed, unsure, worried, etc. in my life.  My son has been there a week yesterday, and was supposed to PIR tomorrow!  I can finally write and talk about it without crying.  It does get better, as you find out that they are coping, as you get some answers, and as you begin to look forward.  Hang in there, and keep relying on our support.  We are all here for you.

Zaipai - Your son's story sounds like mine.  I start to think more positively, and then I hear another story that brings me back to the reality of the fact that he probably has a limited chance of staying/being in the Navy.  My son never had any medical evaluations, they just kept him in boot camp until hs medical records arrived.  They then decided to separate him.  As I said before, he hopes to appeal, but the meeting with the lawyer on Monday will help him decide that.  How far did your son get into boot camp before they decided to separate him?  Did he meet with the JAG lawyer and/or consider staying on Ship 5 and appealling?

Sara - I hope she gets to fly home.....that would be a very long haul on a bus!!  I read about one that took buses to California and had 5 stops and 2 long layovers!! 

Oh no, really?  I asked lemonelephant and she said normally if they fly in on a plane they will fly home on a plane.  They say they cannot tell me anything until Tuesday....the day before.  Its awful because even if they fly her into where she left from it is 2 hours from us in another state.   I was originally thinking of flying there and coming home with her but already the flight is over 300 each way and if I do it the day before it will probably be even more.   I simply cannot afford thousand dollars to get her home. 

Never in my wildest dream did I even think of things like this happening when she left.  I was so worried about the physical part of things.  I watched video after video.  Never once did I ever even hear about ship 5 or what happens if they don't make it.  All of these things she but put out there so we can at least prepare if it didn't work. 

Now there is another thing to worry about, and be unable to prepare for!!  I am hoping for the best for her travels, and for yours.  It would not make sense for you to go get her..... you should rely on the Navy to get her home.

The funny thing is I honor and respect all those in the military but to be honest I fought my daughter tooth and nail for the past 2 years into not doing it!!! Now I feel like I am fighting tooth and nail to get her home!! This has been one of the longest stressful months of my life. Its not only your child going to boot camp its moms going to stress camp!

Ditto!!  I never had any idea how difficult this would be....and every day has a new story and adventure.  What an emotional roller-coaster!  Thank you all for your support and advice.....it is invaluable!  I never will forget the day we found eachother on her, Sara.

Ditto to you hanksmom!

FYI, just got an updated message from lemonelephant.  I cut and pasted. 

"Generally" does not mean "normally" and it does not mean "always". The Navy will transport her home in the cheapest manner available at the time. Those who have contacted me have picked up their son/daughter from the airport more times than from the bus station when they had flown to the RTC. A few were bused and one of those was to Florida, but again more have flown so that is why I said "generally" in my reply. Even those who have been flown did not always have a direct flight and had layovers at one or more airports along the way. Just be prepared. Remember that not everyone who has had a loved one go to SEPS contacts me, so my information on that may be skewed.

Does she have a calling card so she can call you on the way home? If not, get one that will allow you to give her the numbers on it so she can call you along the way.

Hi, I'm new.  I think I have a good idea of what's going on but I'm wondering what they wear during the trip home after SEPS. 

She is coming home for depression..........she has been on a plane once before in her life and never been away from home other than the occasional trip to the beach when she was much younger.  Shes too depressed to stay there so lets bring her to one of the biggest airports in the US, let her have 2 layovers in god only knows where or lets put her on a bus by herself for 15+ hours. 

I want this nightmare to be over.   

From what I have read....they wear their PT clothes.....t shirt, shorts, sweats, sweatshirt, tennis shoes.  There were lots of comments in the 60 comment pages that I have read about this issue.  Did you know that they will be charged for the clothes they got at boot camp, but only come home with those few?

Momtoabunch

Welcome : )

They have nothing and its freezing there so Im going to assume the blue camo- now Im even more stressed.  They do have the sweats tho and the long coat.  You cant send packages or I would send clothes and her phone for once she left.....

I was wondering about all the gear they purchased. That's a shame. PT clothes would work.  I'm only about an hour and a half drive so I could pick my boy up but he doesn't want to even ask and potentially make things take longer. 

Thank you for the welcome.  

I'm not sure they get to keep the coat, I think it may be just a sweatshirt? I've read they get $650 deducted from pay for the uniforms and in a few months receive a bill for $400 for the clothes they wear home.

It just gets better.............  How could they make them pay for a coat and not let them wear it in Chicago and sweats and sneakers do not cost 400 dollars I don't care what brand it is. And I would much prefer her be in civilian clothes rather than be in a busy airport with navy gear even if it sweats.    I think my daughter is the first to go home out of our group.  I will try to give you all an update on how it goes to try to help you plan.

FYI from lemon elephant

They wear their sweats ("Smurfs") and I don't know if they are permitted anything else. Ask one of the moms who has had a son/daughter come home recently.

I have seen all kinds of things on the cost that is assessed for uniform items (yes, sweats are considered uniform items). It all depends on if the uniform allowance had been put into the recruit's pay and if the recruit had been charged for uniforms in a previous pay period. (There are all kinds of variables that could go into the equation since the recruits are not all separated at the same point in training.) The separated individual would not be entitled to the uniform allowance and therefore must reimburse any allowance that had been given for uniform items that left the RTC.

Thank you, Sara, we will appreciate your feedback...... I know you are glad she will be the first to come home, but I hate you just have to "wing it."

Ok. Makes sense. Thanks for that LE. BTW, I tried to accept your friend request but lost it. This site is a bit difficult to navigate. 

My boy just got his legal brief today so things seem to be on track. 

Sara, I hope all goes well for you and your daughter. It will be stressful, but she will be home soon. So the end is in sight. Hang in there

Hank's Mom-Isaiah was in boot camp for 3 weeks before they separated him.  He considered staying to fight, but whe found out it could take 5 months he decided to come home.  He said that he could not just sit there and do nothing for 5 months.  Plus they had made several mistakes in his paperwork and were not willing to research to correct when Isaiah asked about it.  I think he just got fed up.

My son flew home.  They flew him to the airport nearest our house, but we didn't know exact arrival until the day before he arrived.

Isaiah came home in sweat pants, sweat shirt, and his long blue coat.  He got to keep all of his "work out" clothes and boots, socks, etc, but nothing else.  He said that if they make it to the week where they start using weapons they get to keep additional clothing.

zaipai

Thanks for the info.  How far away from GL are you? Did he have a lot layovers?

I talked to my son tonight, and he sounded down.  That brought the "dark cloud" back over me.  Although he meets with a JAG lawyer on Monday, he does not think he can win an appeal there.  He thinks he would have a better chance with a civilian MD.  He is getting tired of being there. He has seen all the movies already and they can work out only a couple of times a week.  He has to pay to use the internet, and does not want to use his money for that.  He is talking about when he comes home, he does not want to come "home."  He does not want to have to face people about the situation.  He is talking about moving to another city to go to school.  I just feel SO bad!  And there is nothing I can do, but support him. 

Hanksmom

I know its killing you right now but know remember everything will happen as it is supposed to.  If he is meant to be there it will work whether he stays now, goes home and talks to a civilian MD or changes his career all together.  As much as we are on an emotional roller coaster, they are to....one day no hopes, the next day high hopes. 

Heidimom - Good luck to your and your son, you have given him the tools, he will do what is right for him : ) 

Hello Hank'sMom,

My prayers are for you and your son.

My son has decided to fight his separation. I am very concerned that this will leave him incredibly vulnerable. 

He has given me very little info so I have found two wonderful ex-military men who are willing to be his sounding boards. They both have been through MUCH and have their heads are screwed on right. But he has not contacted either one yet.

So I must let go now

 Pray for Divine guidance. Sob now and again.

I do believe that you're SR will be ok when he gets home and finds out that his friends REALLY are his friends and will not judge him. He will get back into the swing and realize that they are there for who he is, not what he does.

Blessings.

Heidi