Ship 5 Moms(Formerly Ship 17)

The funny thing is I honor and respect all those in the military but to be honest I fought my daughter tooth and nail for the past 2 years into not doing it!!! Now I feel like I am fighting tooth and nail to get her home!! This has been one of the longest stressful months of my life. Its not only your child going to boot camp its moms going to stress camp!

Ditto!!  I never had any idea how difficult this would be....and every day has a new story and adventure.  What an emotional roller-coaster!  Thank you all for your support and advice.....it is invaluable!  I never will forget the day we found eachother on her, Sara.

Ditto to you hanksmom!

FYI, just got an updated message from lemonelephant.  I cut and pasted. 

"Generally" does not mean "normally" and it does not mean "always". The Navy will transport her home in the cheapest manner available at the time. Those who have contacted me have picked up their son/daughter from the airport more times than from the bus station when they had flown to the RTC. A few were bused and one of those was to Florida, but again more have flown so that is why I said "generally" in my reply. Even those who have been flown did not always have a direct flight and had layovers at one or more airports along the way. Just be prepared. Remember that not everyone who has had a loved one go to SEPS contacts me, so my information on that may be skewed.

Does she have a calling card so she can call you on the way home? If not, get one that will allow you to give her the numbers on it so she can call you along the way.

Hi, I'm new.  I think I have a good idea of what's going on but I'm wondering what they wear during the trip home after SEPS. 

She is coming home for depression..........she has been on a plane once before in her life and never been away from home other than the occasional trip to the beach when she was much younger.  Shes too depressed to stay there so lets bring her to one of the biggest airports in the US, let her have 2 layovers in god only knows where or lets put her on a bus by herself for 15+ hours. 

I want this nightmare to be over.   

From what I have read....they wear their PT clothes.....t shirt, shorts, sweats, sweatshirt, tennis shoes.  There were lots of comments in the 60 comment pages that I have read about this issue.  Did you know that they will be charged for the clothes they got at boot camp, but only come home with those few?

Momtoabunch

Welcome : )

They have nothing and its freezing there so Im going to assume the blue camo- now Im even more stressed.  They do have the sweats tho and the long coat.  You cant send packages or I would send clothes and her phone for once she left.....

I was wondering about all the gear they purchased. That's a shame. PT clothes would work.  I'm only about an hour and a half drive so I could pick my boy up but he doesn't want to even ask and potentially make things take longer. 

Thank you for the welcome.  

I'm not sure they get to keep the coat, I think it may be just a sweatshirt? I've read they get $650 deducted from pay for the uniforms and in a few months receive a bill for $400 for the clothes they wear home.

It just gets better.............  How could they make them pay for a coat and not let them wear it in Chicago and sweats and sneakers do not cost 400 dollars I don't care what brand it is. And I would much prefer her be in civilian clothes rather than be in a busy airport with navy gear even if it sweats.    I think my daughter is the first to go home out of our group.  I will try to give you all an update on how it goes to try to help you plan.

FYI from lemon elephant

They wear their sweats ("Smurfs") and I don't know if they are permitted anything else. Ask one of the moms who has had a son/daughter come home recently.

I have seen all kinds of things on the cost that is assessed for uniform items (yes, sweats are considered uniform items). It all depends on if the uniform allowance had been put into the recruit's pay and if the recruit had been charged for uniforms in a previous pay period. (There are all kinds of variables that could go into the equation since the recruits are not all separated at the same point in training.) The separated individual would not be entitled to the uniform allowance and therefore must reimburse any allowance that had been given for uniform items that left the RTC.

Thank you, Sara, we will appreciate your feedback...... I know you are glad she will be the first to come home, but I hate you just have to "wing it."

Ok. Makes sense. Thanks for that LE. BTW, I tried to accept your friend request but lost it. This site is a bit difficult to navigate. 

My boy just got his legal brief today so things seem to be on track. 

Sara, I hope all goes well for you and your daughter. It will be stressful, but she will be home soon. So the end is in sight. Hang in there

Hank's Mom-Isaiah was in boot camp for 3 weeks before they separated him.  He considered staying to fight, but whe found out it could take 5 months he decided to come home.  He said that he could not just sit there and do nothing for 5 months.  Plus they had made several mistakes in his paperwork and were not willing to research to correct when Isaiah asked about it.  I think he just got fed up.

My son flew home.  They flew him to the airport nearest our house, but we didn't know exact arrival until the day before he arrived.

Isaiah came home in sweat pants, sweat shirt, and his long blue coat.  He got to keep all of his "work out" clothes and boots, socks, etc, but nothing else.  He said that if they make it to the week where they start using weapons they get to keep additional clothing.

zaipai

Thanks for the info.  How far away from GL are you? Did he have a lot layovers?

I talked to my son tonight, and he sounded down.  That brought the "dark cloud" back over me.  Although he meets with a JAG lawyer on Monday, he does not think he can win an appeal there.  He thinks he would have a better chance with a civilian MD.  He is getting tired of being there. He has seen all the movies already and they can work out only a couple of times a week.  He has to pay to use the internet, and does not want to use his money for that.  He is talking about when he comes home, he does not want to come "home."  He does not want to have to face people about the situation.  He is talking about moving to another city to go to school.  I just feel SO bad!  And there is nothing I can do, but support him. 

Hanksmom

I know its killing you right now but know remember everything will happen as it is supposed to.  If he is meant to be there it will work whether he stays now, goes home and talks to a civilian MD or changes his career all together.  As much as we are on an emotional roller coaster, they are to....one day no hopes, the next day high hopes. 

Heidimom - Good luck to your and your son, you have given him the tools, he will do what is right for him : ) 

Hello Hank'sMom,

My prayers are for you and your son.

My son has decided to fight his separation. I am very concerned that this will leave him incredibly vulnerable. 

He has given me very little info so I have found two wonderful ex-military men who are willing to be his sounding boards. They both have been through MUCH and have their heads are screwed on right. But he has not contacted either one yet.

So I must let go now

 Pray for Divine guidance. Sob now and again.

I do believe that you're SR will be ok when he gets home and finds out that his friends REALLY are his friends and will not judge him. He will get back into the swing and realize that they are there for who he is, not what he does.

Blessings.

Heidi

Thank you Heidi and Sara for the kind and supportive words.  I need them.

...And thank you, sara. And Hank'sMom. And Rose R for administrating this site. I have found so much great info and a while lotta support.

And zaipai and  nicole......and all others who contribute over the course of time. Past and present. What an incredible support system.

My heart, each prayer,  my every tear has your name upon it.

Blessings.

Hank'sMOM, Heidimom....I'm so sorry you are both having such a hard time right now...I am saying prayers for your sons and all our kids there. One day we will all look back and see how this time helped shape our children into better people...but for now it's nice to have each other to lean on. To get through these dark times. Thanks to each of you for your support and sharing your stories. It helps me to know I'm not the only one feeling like I do ....

Gosh, I can't stop crying today.  At the request of my brother, I opened a Congratulations card that they sent for my son, in order to remove the gift card (and dispose of the card).  They said, "We all know you will make a fine Navy man."  What a shattering of dreams!  I am sending back all of the items I ordered for our trip to Chicago, including the USS Arizona Challenge Coin I ordered for my son.  What a hard reality!  When I talked to him last night, he said he had ordered me $400 of pictures in his dress uniform....I will never see them.  I guess I am just mourning what my son was to be.  Today is my daughter's 18th birthday, and I should be happy and celebrating with her......get this dark cloud off of me!!

Hanksmom

When was your son's PIR supposed to be? 

As we keep telling our children to be strong as do we.  Life will go on and one day we will see this happened for a reason.  I got my first letter from my daughter today.  She said she feels like a failure and everyday there is a constant reminder.  We will get them home safe and they will find their way.  Today, you HAVE to pull yourself together to celebrate your daughters birthday.  Tomorrow you can concentrate on this, there is nothing we can do right now.  CHIN UP ; ) 

I am in the process of painting my daughters room, its keeping my sanity and I am trying to make it bright and cheery for when she gets home.  I even went on line to find the most non-depressive paint color!!! LOL.

He was supposed to PIR yesterday, and we were to be spending the day with him at the airport today, before he shipped to A school.  I'm sure that has something to do with my mood.  That is so sweet for you to paint her room.....what is the most non-depressive color?  I need to go hang out with it!  Thanks for your words of encouragement......no one understands.

I am soooo sorry..........How long has he been there?  Was he there for Christmas?  My heart goes out to both of you.   Its just so sad.  I honestly cannot believe they would do that so close to graduation.  Its not fair. 

Last night on the news I was watching one of the mother's begging for her sons life...........I actually felt relieved my child is coming home. 

Believe it or not they so light blues and greens!! LOL.  They also said a soft white with a hint of yellow!!  I'm bathing in it right now!~!LOL - not purposely. I have more on me than the walls. 

Are you do anything special for your daughter?  I know you has said you would be at the airport today.  Was she going to come?  Maybe you should get the 2 of you out for awhile to get your mind of this. 

He left 2 days before Thanksgiving.....so he was gone for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.  Yes, my daughter and I had a big Chicago trip planned - seeing the city and then ending up in Great Lakes with my son.  The first time my daughter was ever to be on a plane!

My daughter is a social butterfly, so needless to say, she is already off to lunch with friends, and then will be going out again tonight with friends.  I am just glad that her friends are pulling through for her.  She is the one who always goes out of her way for their birthdays.

I need to get out of here and do something.....

So, what color are the walls?

Wow.... He's been there since November.....  I'm so sorry.....If I lived closer I would take you ; ) 

My daughter is just the opposite.  Shes more of home body.  I hoping this changes when she comes home.  She needs to break out of her shell.  Im assuming that's where the panic attack came in.  She's never had one before.  Shes shy at first but once you get her talking she doesn't shut up.  She is the opposite of my other two, I couldn't keep them home!! .  My oldest is an RN and my middle daughter is a Vet technician.    

I went with the white with the hint of yellow!! I figured she wont want to see anything blue for quite some time!! 

I was expecting to hear from her today, but so far nothing... Im hoping she will have some idea of the way they will be sending her home.  I found a direct flight from Chicago to hear that day but its at 1:25. They told if I did book her a flight not to do it before 2......

Sorry about the typos..... take you to get you out ; ) 

Thanks for that.

Wow, you are right about the blue!!  She needs a fresh start. 

Hope you hear from her today....

Do they get phone calls on Sunday? I haven't heard from my son since he got there Tuesday, and I'm getting worried.

I don't think they get p[hone calls on Sunday but Im not sure about the males,  I don't think the females do.  I got a call yesterday while she was at recruit heaven.  Maybe tomorrow, I know they can call you from legal. 

I did get a call last Sunday from my son when he was at Recruit Heaven, and then he called Friday night and said that he had a 45 minute phone call.  I don't see any "rhyme or reason" to it.  You can call Legal and talk with them, and they can have him call you.

I will try my best to help from my experience and from what I have read.  There are not many of us on here, and most of us are in the same "boat" as you.  When my son got moved there, I called and talked to Legal about the process.  My son was moved there on Wednesday 1/14/15.  The first step is to have a meeting with Legal.....my son's didn't happen until the next Wednesday 1/21/15 (there was a holiday in there).  At that meeting there are give a reason for separation, a re-enlistment code (see above for details), and read their rights.  They have a right to meet with a JAG lawyer free of charge, and they can appeal.  From what I have ready the appeal can take a long time (weeks to months), and they can still be denied.  My son was to meet with the lawyer today 1/26/15, but I have a feeling it did not happen, as he didn't call me.  He seems to call me from Legal each time he is there.  So, he will have been there 2 weeks this Wednesday.  Everyone's story is different.  The most important thing is what re-enlistment code she gets....it might not allow re-enlistment or it might allow her to re-enlist with waivers after 6 months (but she did already have one...from MEPS?).  It seems that once they opt to go home (ie. they are not appealing), it takes at least a week before travel arrangements are made.

I'm so sorry to hear about your wife.....to go through BS21 and get the "I'm a sailor" call and now this!!  It is a very stressful and upsetting situation, while trying to figure out the system.  If I can answer any other questions, don't hesitate to ask.  There are a few of us on here that can be of support.

Hi NukeWife...I don't have much info but my son is as SEPS and arrived there on January 20th. He just got to go see legal today and they said his paperwork would most likely be back between wednesday and friday and a departure date would be around a week after those papers get back. I think it is a little different for everyone. As for phone calls, I know that most people have received phone calls but I did not except for when he arrived at SEPS and one today after I had called Legal to have him call me back. One individual in their unit had done something so the whole unit was denied NEX privelages from what I understand. So I think the phone call thing really varies. Good luck to you and your wife, I hope everything works out well for you

I agree with Nicole. There seems to not seem to be an ability to know any real specifics. 

Oops. Sent to early. As a husband, you are in a tough position. There is a lot of information on this site. There is also a Navy for Dad's site. The Navy itself has a site that gives a lot of info and numbers.

Best wishes to you and your wife.

NukeWife,  you are probably not in a "unique situation," however, I suspect that there is only limited info for you. In order for you to get any info, your wife must sign releases for you to every single person or entity. 

The number for Administrative for Ship 5 is:

847-688-7444. I believe the exiension is: 456. The one time I called, they were very understanding and helpful.

Praying for answers and peace for you and your family.

Oh, as for recruiter: nothing s/he can do now. Later, that depends on how trustworthy. Some SRs have used the same one, others have done due diligence and found one willing to go the extra mile.

I think every situation is so different.  NukeWife - did she have her Legal briefing, with a re-enlistment code provided?  She then has the right to meet with a JAG lawyer who will make recommendations about her case (whether to appeal, etc.).  My son met with the JAG lawyer yesterday, and is not appealing to go back to training, as he will not win.  He is appealing to have his re-enlistment code changed to give him a re-enlistment code with better chances of re-enlisting in the future.  He says it will take 3-4 weeks.

Did you get an answer, NukeWife?  She probably met with legal today.....how did it go?  I know that RE3 is good, RE4 is not.  My son got RE8 and is appealing to get an RE3, so he has a better chance of reenlisting.

NukeWife, 

Please go to Facebook and look me up: Heidi Linda River.

Private message me and I will give you some important information that might help you and yours.

If and only if you feel safe, of course.

Blessings and prayers prayed.