Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

my husband is in for 4 years also. im learning to love it. its really hard to move to new places away from friends and family. and its really hard at first with the navy. just because the first few months are a lot of working because they have to get quals so my husband would go into work for 12 or 13 hours and our time together was limited. but that's blows over and its really great. and you get use to it . im just glad we have 2 days off in a row together.  he hasn't gone on any DETS but when he does I know it will be a lot better than underways b/c they will be on ground so communication will be daily vs when they are on the ship. if your b/f is working on an aircraft that does go on ships , there were be a few times that they will fly out to the ship the squadron is attached to and will go on an underway. you wont technically be close to the ship either. like my husband and I are on the west coast and his ship is on the east coast. so when they fly over to the ship it will be for a month of two.   are you going to go visit him while he is in A school?

Shout out to UrabissWife…

So my husband finally classes up tomorrow Tuesday and has the night shift which I wasn’t excited about at first but I think it’s going to be better that way. Because then he has day time to go look at apartments and get stuff situated for when I move out. The plan is to move June 8^th so hopefully it all gets worked out by then. I already gave my apartment my notice. I decided to sell all our stuff and just travel light especially since the Navy will only pay to move our stuff from P-cola and I don’t plan on paying a boat load to bring it with. Supposedly my husband will get more information from his instructor. I really hope so and he gets permission to live off base with me. Either way P-cola here I come J I am so antsy to finish up this job and get out of there. Been stocking up on summer dresses preparing for the FL humidity. I hope all is well with you. Thanks for all your helpful advice.

Survived our 8 month deployment. Had our first hug in 252 days last night. <3
Hang in there ladies, you're always one day closer! :)

Yay Emily... That's a long time. My god, I can't even think about that yet. I'm very happy for you...

Homecoming is the BEST!

OHWHERE!!  im so excited you have a date on when you are moing :P Im jealous of you I wish I could go back there. its so beautiful and yes very warm. we were there in "fall" which seemed like summer to me so I can only image how summer is going to feel! the beach there is so amazing pure white sand! ahhh I miss it! my husbands instructors helped him so much so im glad your husbands will do the same thing. just keep on him about getting all of his paper work done. that's weird that they would throw a night shift on him with him going to school. so that could change. my husband had night watches sometimes but that was usually on the weekend. they gave the night watches during the week to the people who hadn't classed up. its about time he classed up :P I hope you enjoy it there and everything will work out just as it should :)

I am seriously freaking out right now because my sailor just let me know he is going to be stationed in JAPAN!!!!! We are only engaged and havent gotten a chance to get married yet. Would it even be possible for me to go with him once we get married?!?!

Some background info: He is st RTC right now in basic training and will be in Pensacola, Florida for 14 days for apact school.

Straight answer time.  Even if you were married, you wouldn't be going to Japan.  E-3 and below cannot take dependents to Japan, so it would be a year or more anyway before you could go.  

Second, even if he were an E-4 and had such orders, the Navy would not change them to accompanied. He would have to go to his command, and apply for command sponsorship for you.  Without that, you could not get the proper visa for residency, you wouldn't get housing, be able to work on base, and you'd be on a space available status for medical/dental and other services.  In some cases, a waiver is granted, but with the budget being so tight, it is unlikely.

How long are his orders for?  Two years or three?  If he makes E-4 and gets a waiver for you, he will have to extend his tour over there. 

 You can't just move to Japan, although you can go visit.  Get a passport in case things change.

Hang in there, you can get through this.  The first two years I was married, I saw my husband a total of 28 days.  It truly sucks, but it isn't impossible.

Thank you sooo much Anti M. I know i can stick it out i was just freaking out because that was extremely unexpected. Welcome to navy life i guess haha

Will he be on a ship?

Mine too!

Just for the invite =-/ but no call yet =( 

Im jealous, no phone call for me yet =( And I have priced everything just waiting to get pay tomorrow to book everything

I hope so.. im dying to hear from him!

Michelle, I know what you mean... My husband is truly my best friend and I cant seem to cope with the fact that I don't have him to talk about EVERYTHING! or showing him the new trick our one year old learned! =-/ But we have to be strong not just for ourselves but for them, cuz in all reality they are having it 100x worst! Keep your head up and keep busy that's what I been trying to do...

Michelle, it definite gets hard.. I been struggling every day this week!

Hi everyone. My boyfriend left for basic April 29th and it's been a lot harder being away from him than I thought it would be. We used to spend a lot of time together and I could always at least text him, so no contact is really hard. I'm feeling really upset today... I miss him so much. Is there anything I can do to help deal with this sadness? What do you girls do?

get super busy :) that's what helped me. Also I would write him ALL the time. I would put what time it was when I would start writing. its really helped me but it also helped my husband put a picture to what I was talking about. im pretty sure going to the post office was my favorite time of the day :) . I sent my husband tonz of pictures too

lol my husband would rarely respond to what i would write. he would just write random things. and when h did respond i would get so confused b/c i asked him a million questions i couldn't remember what i asked him :P

Here goes my RANT!!!!!! My husband just asked his Chief about me moving out to P-cola and wanted to make sure that he can sign a lease and not get in trouble even if he doesn’t end up living with me that’s fine. His Chief said that NO he can’t or else they will make his life really hard. They won’t give him liberty EVER and they won’t pay for our move when he does get his duty station and all these other threats that sound made up to me. My husband is doing IT for a year there. He doesn’t know his C school orders for sure but that’s pretty much the only school that he would go to for his school. The weird thing is the Chief said well she can come live in a hotel and that would be fine but that they don’t want him signing a lease and that I would be a distraction if I lived there in an Apt but if I lived there in a hotel somehow I wouldn’t be a distraction. Then they said that if my husband goes through with helping me get into a lease the only way we could do this is if we get a power of attorney and they would make it their mission to make his life hell. His A school is a little over 4 months and then about 6 months for his C school. I think this is total BS, there is no rule about him being on a lease with me, he is still on the current one that he signed before he left for basic. Plus I don’t see the apartment excepting a power of attorney to sign a lease for him, it doesn’t make sense. Although in CA where I’m from I was able to sign my own lease using my past income history without having a new job secured so this is frustrating that the apts there in FL require you have a job set up first especially when my husband’s income is my income. I feel like we are being lied to and treated like little kids. My husband and I are older in our 30’s and this is a HARD pill to swallow. It seems that if we hadn’t even mentioned it and just went ahead with the move this wouldn’t have been an issue. I feel so defeated and ready to GIVE UP in general. So far the Navy has been the worst decision EVER…

Ohwhere I am sorry. What base is he on? 

Thanks, guys. He's at Corry Station in Pensacola, FL

I'm trying to find a roommate situation right now online and it looks hopeless. Most the ones that do allow pets because I have a cat are all in sketchy neighborhoods and the nicer ones close to base of course don't want any pets which I totally understand…

I think I'm going to be calling family members tomorrow and see if they will co-sign a lease for me even though I have perfectly good credit because I don't have a job when I get there I can't be the only one on the lease. This still doesn't change the situation that his chief is going to make his life difficult though. I'm not going to let anyone else dictate what I do in life. This is beyond ridiculous.

Ohwhere, I'm sorry! I went through something similar recently we didn't have anyone telling us we absolutely couldn't or threatening us, but we had a lot of people telling us it was a bad idea . My husband and I are also older than many going through A school, we're 28. We've been together for over a decade and when he joined his recruiter made it clear it would be no problem for me to move when he went to A school which was 4 months ( it was actually longer because of breaks so about 5 months). As his time in bootcamp wound down I packed everything, quit my job, and told everyone I finally had a date to move to Biloxi. I knew that since it was only 4 months the navy would not pay to move me, but we were prepared to swallow that cost. Then he got there and EVERYONE started telling him what a bad idea they thought it was. I felt really conflicted because I really thought I would be helpful and not distracting, we make a really good team. In the end we decided to wait. It was really hard, I am pretty sure I went a little crazy, but I do think now it was for the best. A school was really intense and my husband managed to graduate top of his class. I kept thinking that once he was done, he could be deployed for almost a year and I didn't want to waste any time with him. I think for me that hardest part was that I felt if we had just had honest answers from the beginning I would have known what to expect. I felt like I suffered through bootcamp thinking I had a plan and a date and then took a huge step back. I did go and visit for a week, hardly enough time, but then I shamelessly and guiltlessly did distract him. We are stationed in CA now and it's still different than i expected, it's harder for me to adjust to, but it's good. he's doing so well and he likes his job. I know deployment will be another huge adjustment but for now I'm just focusing on the time we have. I hope things get better for you, whatever you decide!