Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Hey everyone!

My Husband left January 27th and I received "the box" a couple days  and immediately I started to cry, I just miss my man so much. I haven't received a call yet so I'm just at that stage "no news is good news" I'm extremely proud of him but honestly ready for his PIR so I can see him already. Writing letters is the hardest part for me because I get all in my feelings and start to cry. queenzingha, it will get better March 27th will be here soon!

queenzingha- I missed one of my husband's calls too! I was in the other room and didn't hear my phone ring. I was SO mad at myself! I panicked and tried to call back the number but of course it didn't go through since it's a payphone. From now on I always have my phone at the highest volume and by my side haha! 847 is the Illinois area code so always watch out for those!

Would it be okay to send my husband a couple cards for valentines day. They are the size of a normal white envelope

Yes, of course @Navywife_Nuke. You can send him a card as long as it doesn't have audio, glitters or confettis. Don't spray any perfumes into the card either. It's a big no-no! :) 

Madeline, I am so sorry to hear he is unwell.  Unfortunately, his recruiter won't know anything, nor be able to get information.  Although no news is good news at this point, you do need updates.  

Try calling RTC Public Affairs.  They are the most likely to be able to help you.  

http://www.bootcamp.navy.mil/contact.asp

I hope he is doing better, and that is why he hasn't called again.  

Updated information!  From the official Facebook page.

ALL sailors may stay at the Navy Lodge or Gateway on PIR weekend.

Once they are in A school, both are off limits and no chits will be approved.

U.S. Navy Recruit Training Command Graduating recruits checking into TSC no longer need a chit to visit Navy Lodge or Gateway for graduation weekend only. After that weekend, as students, they are not permitted to visit either location.

Just during the day.  There are no overnights for the new sailors.  Their curfew is fairly early too, but they will be briefed on those details.  

Navy Lodge is great for them to relax, get online, maybe have a homecooked meal because there is a small kitchen.  LOL, take a shower all by themselves!  

What has me worried is this was put out by RTC, not TSC.  Boot camp moms group is still saying no Lodge.  Geez.

I asked on Facebook, and hope I get a straight final answer.

Hey question. My husband left on 1/27, should I have received my form for my military id already? I have not gotten it and am getting concerned. He has been gone for 2 and a half weeks. What does the form look like? What is it called exactly? Should I contact the recruiter? I am already in DEERS, so does that mean the form is on its way? 

Also, do you think we will get the first check on the 15th or not until the 1st of March?

Takes about three weeks, so soon.  Recruiter won't know.

Form DD 1172

http://www.cac.mil/docs/dd1172-2.pdf

Madeline, glad you heard from him, I hope he gets better quickly!

Ugh, living in someone else's home is darn difficult.  It will get better when you have your own place to nest in.

Subs are out a lot, and communication depends on the type of sub.  Boomers have two crews and they trade off.  They stay deep and do not visit ports much.  My nephew is on a fast attack and seems like he is in and out often. They do get foreign port visits.   He is married and they are expecting, so he does come home sometime!  His wife has made some good friends in the FRG (family readiness group).  Subs tend to have tight knit communities.  Remember, subs are always an 100% volunteer choice.  I don't know when the cut off is, but if he is still in school, he still has the sub/surface option.

 As for surface vessels, yes they do have long deployments, 6 months plus extensions.  But ALL ships have shorter underways too, exercises and sea trials, and sometimes simply getting out of port before a big storm.  A few weeks here, a few months there.  Some go into dry dock for a couple years.  It simply is too complicated for one answer.  

I hate how recruiters don't truly lie, how they only paint the ideal picture, and no one gives an accurate picture of how the Navy works.  I know it is hard with OPSEC, and there are so many unique situations, but dang, oversimplifying hurts the sailors and families because they cannot develop realistic expectations and plans.

Sorry, that's my rant.  

LOL, sorry about the mix up, I get rolling.  My laptop is "jumpy" when I post, so sometimes I don't go back and fix things.

If he didn't volunteer to be on a submarine, he won't be put on a submarine. Submarine service is strictly on a volunteer basis. 

To answer your question of how you'll survive deployment, you'll survive just like all the rest of us do: one day at a time. You take it all one day at a time and those days slowly add up to those 8 months that seem impossible to survive. You'll make friends from the ship that understand exactly what you're going through, you'll visit family when possible, you'll plan fun activities for you and the kids, and you'll survive. I promise you will. It always seems impossible at the time (trust me, I'm staring down endless underways and another deployment right this minute), but at the end of it, you'll look back and wonder how time went so fast and you'll be hoping time slows down while he's home. It's never easy, but it does get easier to deal with eventually. You learn how to cope and how to lean on your military wife friends when you need a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand. 

Hang in there. Take it all one day at a time and you'll be just fine. And remember, don't wish your life away waiting for him to be back (easier said than done, I know). Make some goals, make some plans, and follow through with them all! He'll be proud of you for it, I promise. :)

You don't.  The Navy sets the date and it can be a moving target.  Deployments often get extended, and a ship can be recalled to sea with little warning.  Also, OPSEC forbids giving the date the ship returns.  

So forget the cute Save the Date cards, and if she is trying to put a deposit down on a venue, be certain it has a military clause.  Family from out of state may miss out, there is no booking flights months in advance.  Flexibility and creativity is key.  Many military weddings are at "alternative" venues such as parks or spacious backyards.  It is possible to put together a nice wedding on short notice, a lot of DIY and family assistance will help.  If she wants to go Bridezilla and control every detail, she will be miserable.   The expected scenario where brides plan for a year is just not feasible.  She can get a lot done, but really has to think outside the box.  

He needs to sign her up with the ship's ombudsman and FRG so she gets official information on ship's movement as early as allowed. 

Remember, no deposits unless the vendor has a military clause.  NO destination wedding, and Mexico is off limits to him.  She will want to google how to plan a quick wedding

My nephew is on a sub, where OPSEC is tight (announcing dates until 24 hours out, and tight lipped even then).  His finance had her dress, an eye on a venue, and  a Pinterest page.  They married at a JoP because he was going back to sea unexpectedly.  There was engagement party at home (only I knew  were already married), but now they are expecting.  All the money she saved up is going toward the baby, she sold the dress.  This is worst case scenario, some ladies here have pulled off lovely weddings. I hope they can share how they managed it.