Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

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Hello my name is Keisha and i am the creator of this group. Thanks for joining and i hope that all the advice this group gives is helpful

Please, if you no longer want to be a part of N4M's consider NOT deleting your profile as everything you have ever posted will disappear when you delete it .  You can leave a group but don't permanently delete your profile!

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  • Paige

    @Michael Thank you for the information! I will take that all into consideration.! Thank you.!

    Sep 13, 2016

  • Anti M

    Hello folks!  A reminder, please post!

    Navyformoms.com is being updated and upgraded by the agency that oversees it, and part of this effort is making room for new members.  To do so, members who have not been active since 12/1/15 will be removed but will be able to re-join.  This is all part of an effort to make Navyformoms.com the best it can be for everyone, seasoned moms and new members alike.  If you haven't posted since that date, please do so right away!  

    Dec 2, 2016

  • Cerena

    My now husband has gotten to his first permanent duty station. (i think that's what it's called) It's a ways from home to me and him but i'm glad to say i'll be with him again. So exciting :)

    Dec 3, 2016

  • Barney

    :)

    Dec 4, 2016

  • sailormaid

    Any neighborhood recommendations in Norfolk?

    Dec 5, 2016

  • 18gf

    hi. i plan to move to cali in january and my husband is going to apply for bah in january when he gets back from leave. it takes two pay cycles to get bah right? also do they kick him out of his barracks once he applys for bah? we just don't want to be stuck without a apartment and we can't afford to get an apartment till we get the bah.

    Dec 5, 2016

  • abuon18

    18gf are you already married? If so has he updated his page 2? That's the form that tells the Navy if he has dependents and if he should be receiving BAH and your health insurance. You should already be receiving BAH if you're married.

    Dec 5, 2016

  • 18gf

    we aren't getting married till the 26th of this month and then he's gonna do that the beginning of january i just didn't want them to kick him out of his barracks before he receives his bah because we can't get approved at the apartment we want to stay at till it shows that on his pay stubs

    Dec 5, 2016

  • abuon18

    Oh, okay. I was confused because your first comment said husband.

    So when he updates his Page 2 it can take 2 pay cycles, but it can take 1, or 4, or 6 or even more sometimes. There is just no telling - there isn't a timeline for that unfortunately. My husband was lucky - we saw his BAH on the next paycheck after he turned in his page 2 because he kept checking in at the office so they got it done.

    They won't kick him out of the barracks until they have proof that he has a place to live and is receiving BAH - they are required to provide housing for him. Unfortunately they do not have housing for you. If you plan to move there before you can lease your apartment then you will need to make some sort of temporary living arrangements for yourself, or you can wait and move yourself out there after his BAH has kicked in.

    Good luck and congratulations!

    Dec 5, 2016

  • 18gf

    do you know if we do on base housing if it's available does he still gets bah? and okay thank you so much i was just worried and he has been real busy with work and hasn't been able to get a lot of info and i figured here would be the best option for me to know!! thank you again!

    Dec 5, 2016

  • Michael

    I do know that there is a base housing shortage in san that's what everyone says. Wait times could be long was glad we did not get stuck going there. Just contact them online.

    Dec 5, 2016

  • abuon18

    No, if you decide to base housing he would not still get BAH. It would automatic my get deducted from his pay to go towards the rent and bills to housing. As Michael said there is likely a wait but unfortunately he can't apply for base housing until you're married. So if you would like to do base housing as soon as you're married he should get you guys on the wait list.

    Dec 5, 2016

  • Craig

    Posting to keep this group active...
    “Deleting inactive members - The ad agency that handles N4M is in the process of updating the site. If you have not been active since 12/1/15 you will be deleted to make room for new members. You will be able to re-join. If you don't want to be deleted you will need to post something in any one of your groups to activate your account. They have already started deleting members.”

    Dec 6, 2016

  • garden gal

    Posting so I won't get deleted

    Dec 7, 2016

  • garden gal

    He might get paid on the 15th. If not then it will be on the 31st. It takes a while to get everything set up.  My son left on Aug 20, he was paid on Sept 15 for the first time.  The first few paychecks will take a while to even out with the uniform allowance/charge & the amount they deduct for PT uniforms & incidentals.  You will get BAH from the day he swore in.  You will also get $250/mo separation allowance.  It may take a few paychecks for all of that to make it into the checks.  The separation allowance doesn't start until he has been gone 30 days, but then it is back paid from the day he left.  At least that's how it was for my son & DIL.

    Dec 14, 2016

  • Michael

    Yeah it takes time I did not see any money until the 3rd pay check and it was bigger. Remember the BHA will be based on where you live. I can let you know if you can give a zip code

    Dec 14, 2016

  • Anti M

    Here is the BAH calculator.  Your BAH is $1077.

    http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm

    It does take a few pay cycles to see the BAH, but you will get a lump sum added up from day one.  After that, half will be in each pay check.  It will be based on your zip code as long as he is in boot camp and A school, then it switches to his duty station once he gets permanent orders. 

    Dec 14, 2016

  • Michael

    Anti m to the rescue she got it all. Thanks :)

    Dec 14, 2016

  • fierssej

    Can anyone recommend a good traffic attorney in VBVA? Hubby got clocked doing 82 coming out of the HOV towards Indian River the Sunday after Thanksgiving. His court date is 3 days after he leaves for deployment, so it's going to be held. He's underway now and can't do the research for himself

    Dec 14, 2016

  • Michael

    Well I was a cop for 12 years going 82 he is lucky the cop did not take his license on the spot because I would have. The judge still can, a lawyer can only do so much. The only thing that he can have on his side is if it was raining outside because there are hundreds of caselaw cases proving that using a laser during rain can give you a inaccurate reading on the laser because rain acts like a prisim and effects the lasers accuracy. Secondly he can ask when the last time the laser was calibrated to make sure it's functioning right like it's suppose to. If a lawyer does get the speed reduced or made to another law violation like defective speedometer he will pay a hefty fine prolly $1000 or better and have to get her speedometer replaced in his car to get rid of the moving violation. Speed violations are not easy to get out of but will pay through the pocketbook. Lasers are precise and are unbeatable except in rain and calibration

    Dec 14, 2016

  • ArmyBrat&NavyGirlfriend

    My SR got to call yesterday from BC and while I'm so glad I got to hear his voice I think it actually made me miss him more

    Dec 19, 2016

  • Michael

    Get ready for the ride of your life!!!

    Dec 24, 2016

  • Michael

    I am very happy for you but years past sailors did. It get to call. All depends on command and who's in charge.

    Dec 24, 2016

  • Jason c.

    I missed my girlfriends call from bc yesterday, I really hope she'll get another chance on xmas day but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. She's been in bc since Nov 21st and I've gotten one 10 minute call so far.

    Dec 24, 2016

  • Michael

    I know my cousin last year who's PIR was the week after New Years did not call on Christmas and called us 3 days before PIR

    Dec 24, 2016

  • Anti M

    There is only one phone bank, and thousands of recruits. It is physically impossible for them all to call.   Those who get to go to a church dinner may be able to borrow a phone for a short while, but it is really random as to whether they get a chance. Be on the look out for ANY number you don't recognize.

    Dec 25, 2016

  • Jason c.

    Its been 17 days since my girlfriend wrote me a letter and I still haven't received it yet, is this normal? She's in great lakes and I'm in Arizona. I know its the holidays but 17 days seems really long. Any info would be appreciated

    Dec 27, 2016

  • Michael

    Hey Jason mail only leave one day a week out of boot camp if I remember right it's either Saturday or Sunday, and it being Christmas it may delay it even more. If something was wrong you would know it. I know how you feel when my husband was in I get all upset not getting a letter when I lived 50 miles from boot camp but mail is very slow out of there just the way it is. One day I got 4 letters so like i said if she missed the mail truck that day the letter will wait a whole week to go out on the next run. Just how it is. Hang in there buddy.

    Dec 27, 2016

  • Jason c.

    Thanks Michael, the first letter took 12 days to get here so I was getting confused why the very next one would take so much longer. I appreciate the response

    Dec 27, 2016

  • amber02888

    Jason, when my husband's division got in trouble they didn't get to send out letters or they would have very limited time to write, so I remember there was at least 1 week that nothing was sent out. I hope that helps! 

    Dec 27, 2016

  • Jason c.

    Thanks amber, I hope thats not the case but it makes sense.

    Dec 27, 2016

  • abuon18

    Jason, have you checked the weather? I know the northeast and Midwest have already gotten hit with a few winter storms, which could be affecting mail in those areas. I wouldn't worry about it - it's on its way. But I know it's frustrating knowing it's coming and you're waiting and waiting for it - it will get to you, I promise!

    Dec 27, 2016

  • Jason c.

    Thanx for the encouragement abuon18, no i hadn't considered that although I should have. I missed her call this past friday and now I'm just itching to get a letter, she's over 5 weeks into BC now and I did get to speak with her once and received one letter but its never enough is it?

    Dec 27, 2016

  • abuon18

    Hey, you're past the halfway point! That's awesome. I hope you're able to go to her graduation. I remember when my husband was in boot camp, any time I would get a letter I would read it over and over. That was 5.5 years ago now and I still have them! (And he has mine too.) I would say just keep writing to her, because even if there's delay in her sending or you receiving her letters, she really is relying on your letters to get her through these last few weeks of boot camp. I know it's hard for you to wonder when you're going to get her letter when you know she sent it, especially after just missing her call, but you just have to know that she is always thinking of you!

    Dec 27, 2016

  • Jason c.

    Yea I write her everyday and from her voicemail I could tell she's getting my letters fairly quickly, roughly one week after I send them. That's why I was confused that the one I have took 12 days to get here and now its been 17 days since she sent second one. Ill be fine, just anxious to hear her voice or read her thoughts. I won't make it to graduation though I will visit her in a school after she makes phase 3 liberties. So roughly 9 more weeks till I see her. Uuugh!

    Dec 27, 2016

  • Michael

    Yes Jason like they say always write. I wrote my husband everyday and our 3 year old drew a picture once a week. Some days go by no letters then one day I get 3. Just hang in there. This is the beginning of a good road of dealing when she's on deployment and on underways.

    Dec 27, 2016

  • abuon18

    I'm sorry you aren't going to get to go for her graduation but at least you have more frequent communication to look forward to once she does graduate! She'll be able to get her cell phone & computer back that day, and as long as she is not in class, on watch or on some sort of restriction, she'll be able to use them pretty freely. And you have a visit to look forward where she'll have more time and freedom than if you were to go to her graduation anyway (unless she's staying in Great Lakes for A school-if she's going elsewhere, they typically fly them out early the next day.).

    Dec 27, 2016

  • Jason c.

    Yes I'm looking forward to that, she'll be going to San Antonio for MAA school. It'll be great once she gets her phone back, can't wait. Texts and phone calls will make a world of difference. And yes I understand that this is a good prep for when she's deployed, there will be harder times than this I know.

    Dec 28, 2016

  • TheRedheadsWife

    Katharyn I am sorry that super sucks! I can relate a little. I still haven't received ANY deers paperwork because they were missing stuff and I have sent it and have to go into the new year without any proof of that insurance. I even had to have my baby appointment on my old insurance because of the whole mess. I even talked to my husband and had the recruiter send over the paperwork to 2 different places. Hopefully yours can get all sorted out!

    Dec 29, 2016

  • Michael

    Katharyn I am pretty sure you only get separation pay when he's deployed. And just so you know his pay will be little as he's in the military my husband gets paid twice a month and it's $666. So get used to it they always fuck up but you gotta call everyday. You should get back pay when it's striated out

    Dec 29, 2016

  • lizzylou191

    Katharyn, idk what a food allowance is (he is eating there, so you won't recieve that). ANd separatiom pay only kicks in after a certain of number of days apart, so you won't get it right off the bat. Regular paycheck minus what he spends there and bah you should get. But the rest of it sounds like a recruiter trying to glossy-eye you guys into the ship out date he/she wanted your hubby to be on. The only food allowance is bas, which you will only recieve if he is living off base. At basic and during school, he will likely be living on base and therefore the money you would get for food is withheld because they feed him three meals a day.

    Dec 29, 2016

  • TheRedheadsWife

    We were also told that the food allowance wouldn't be included because they are feeding him there and that separation pay is 30 days in or something but not immediately. http://navyformoms.ning.com/group/bootcampmoms/page/when-will-the-r... explains more about the uniform since it is only a one time charge. and it says it takes 3-4 paychecks to settle on what he is really getting so there is a lot of adjustment period. The misplacement of papers is frustrating but I heard it happens a lot, which is a bummer but this is what we signed up for. Still frustrating and I hope your recruiter can get something moving along.

    Dec 29, 2016

  • Michael

    Kathryn I know what they get paid my husband is a E3 I live on base yes it is a little you get paid twice a month. The 1st and 15th when all the deductions are taken out it's $666 so don't tell me what we don't get paid when I pay the bills from our navy account

    Dec 29, 2016

  • Michael

    I am just stating facts your will be a little more because you don't live on a base so you will get housing allowance that I did not take into consideration

    Dec 29, 2016

  • Michael

    I do know when my husband started and was in boot camp health insurance did not start for 60 days. He started March 2 and our insurance started may 1 that also could be the reason. Your housing allowance is based on where YOU live not boot camp.

    Dec 29, 2016

  • abuon18

    Katharyn, sorry you're having so much trouble. I promise you one day it will get easier! But any time you PCS you'll have to deal with this all over again. It's always frustrating.

    Anyway as far as boot camp goes, the first paycheck they do take money out to pay for his uniform, but also for his personal items like soap, shampoo, razors, towels, etc. Typically, BAH takes a couple of paychecks to kick in, but you will receive it retroactively from the day your husband left for bootcamp (I know that doesn't help you now).

    As far as separation pay goes, you do not start seeing it in his paychecks until he has been gone for 30 days. Then you will see it, and it will be retroactive to when he first left - so YES you will receive it from the day he left, BUT you won't SEE the money in his check until he's been gone for 30 days. You will get separation pay any time he has orders that the family cannot follow whether it is boot camp, A school, C school, other trainings throughout his career, deployment or a long underway, a TDY or if he receives orders to a duty station where family is not allowed. Every single time, you will not see it in his paycheck until he has been gone for 30 days, BUT it will be retroactive to the time he left.

    As far as food allowance goes, that is only for the Sailors, not for their families, so while they are being fed by the Navy it is deducted from their paychecks. For example when he is in bootcamp, deployed, and on sea duty. If he is on leave or shore duty, you will see the BAS in his paycheck.

    Sorry your recruiter was misleading - often they just don't know the details themselves especially if they are single. I hope you're able to get everything straightened out with your DEERS paperwork ASAP because that is what alerts the Navy that he has a dependent and therefore is entitled  to receive BAH (housing allowance) and that you need health insurance. The good news about Tricare is, even though you aren't covered now, you are covered retroactively also. So if you go to the Dr. now or get a prescription filled, save your receipts because you can submit them for reimbursement through Tricare once all the paperwork is straightened out. As his dependent, you are covered from the day he entered the Navy. Good luck with everything - and stay on top of them. They will put you on the back burner if you don't!

    Dec 29, 2016

  • Brooke

    I have a question for anyone who has had a baby or may be able to answer. I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant and received the tdap shot today, the doctor told me how they strongly recommend that anyone who will be around the baby for a significant amount of time also receive this immunization. I know my husband received quite a few shots when going through boot camp and I was wondering if this was one of them or should he go ahead and get it? I asked him if he received it but he says he has no idea what all he was given haha and I know we can ultimately check his medical records if need be. I just thought I'd check here real quick!

    Dec 29, 2016

  • TheRedheadsWife

    I'm pregnant as well and I received the shot but my husband did not because we were told that he would get all he needed and then some at boot camp hahaha I know the pertussis one is what they worry about most but I think you are okay since the military gives him so many. Let me know if you find different out!

    Dec 29, 2016

  • Michael

    Brooke our daughter is 3 and my husband got the shot and our daughter is in navy daycare and had to have flu and other shots. Tdap is tetitnus and diphtheria it's not a big deal. Really flu shot is a bigger deal.

    Dec 29, 2016

  • Anti M

    TD is one of the boot camp immunizations, as well as a flu shot for the Navy.  TDaP includes Pertussis, which guards against whooping cough.  Your husband should contact the base clinic and see what they recommend.  They'll know if he got a TD or a TDaP, and be able to update his immunization if needed.

    https://www.thebalance.com/military-vaccinations-4058318
     

    Dec 30, 2016