Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Hello my name is Keisha and i am the creator of this group. Thanks for joining and i hope that all the advice this group gives is helpful

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  • Brooke

    Thank you everyone for your replies! I guess we will just double check his records(:
  • Jason c.

    Hoping someone can answer thus question for me; I've recently read that sailors at lackland A school don't get phase 3 liberties anymore until graduation. Is this true? I was hoping to visit her towards the end of her schooling and have her stay with me off base for the weekend. But if there aren't any phase 3 liberties then she will have to have a liberty buddy with her the whole time?
  • Michael

    As far as we know they can never stay off base in A school unless they have housing with dependents. All sailors must report back every night for check in and check out every morning. My husband was in A school and went into phase 2 and we are married and he could not leave base but that was just for 3 months. The only time sailors can spend overnight is if there A school is 2 years like nuke A school and they have dependents then they can go home for the night. You can get a hotel drop her off at night and pick her up in the morning. Also make sure she does not have duty that weekend because she could be on watch and won't be able to leave at all.
  • Allison

    Even those with phase 3 liberty have to have one liberty buddy. They can sign out overnight and have to report back or call out overnight again before liberty expires. They always have to be back before the weekend liberty expires, usually 8 hours before their next class, and all this assuming they have a duty free weekend. A sailor can never leave alone unless they have dependents or request special liberty in advance. Special liberty is really a last resort, but if she doesn't trust anyone enough to be a responsible enough buddy that she could just meet back up with them in the morning, she could request to sign out with you for one or two nights. My husband did this once in A school before we were married, he was phase 1 at the time, so he wasn't allowed out overnight yet, and I know another one of our friends did it when his sister came to visit while he was in A school as well, he was phase 3 but didn't want to worry about a liberty buddy. Both were at Great Lakes recently, which is one of the more strict commands for A school. I assume if they could figure it out there, it could be done anywhere. Have her ask an NMTI about a special liberty chit if you don't have other options, you'll need to know what address you'll be staying in advance and a valid govt issued photo ID like a passport or drivers license. Good luck and enjoy your visit :)
  • Jason c.

    Thank you for the insight and advice, how far in advance will she know if she has duty on that weekend? Would like to book flight sooner than later as the price will just keep going up the closer it gets.
  • Allison

    Usually you can calculate it because they're on a rotation, like my husband had duty every four days, and later on when he moved, it was ever other day, so there's usually some kind of schedule. I usually kept track because I put a known duty day in my phone and had the event repeat every number of days he had duty, which made it easier to plan things months ahead (he had a long A school). If she can't coordinate a duty free weekend, she can always ask a friend to duty swap, or you can ask her if she has earned a DDO (duty day off) from an outstanding inspection or school performance.
  • Anti M

    If there is no phase 3 at Lackland, then it is something fairly new. If so, someone screwed up and they're punishing everyone. It happens and it sucks.

    Phase 3 do need a liberty buddy, but they can put in a chit for a spouse or family member to be the buddy.  I didn't see your status, sorry if that doesn't help.

    Has she checked in yet?  Once she gets her duty rotation, you can plan ahead a bit better.  Her school is rather short though, so you may have to make do with phase two daytime visits.  My friend went there quit some time ago, her husband did go visit, but I don't recall if she stayed off base on the weekend.  I got the impression she did, but again, this was several years ago.

  • Jason c.

    Anti M: we're not married yet, I was going to propose while visiting her there. Does she have to stay with the liberty buddy at all times while off base?
  • Michael

    Jason by rules the buddy must be with her at all times. Now we had my husbands buddy with us at all times but there was a girl in his division that dodged there buddy and just by chance a commanding officer was eating at the same restaurant and saw them out with out the buddy. That night when she came back with the buddy they were asked if they were together the whole time and they stated yes. So now they lied and did not follow protocol. Both sailors had all liberty taken away until there duty stations. Every command is different what happen two years ago can be different today because there is new command. I would follow all rules
  • Anti M

    Jason, by the rules, yes, they must be together at all times.  And yes, it can be a lot of trouble when they do not.  I'll send a friend request ....

  • Allison

    They have to be with their liberty buddy at all times, but they don't necessarily have to be right next to you every minute. There was more opportunity in GL because the schools were so long, but some students would coordinate liberty buddies to eat at the same restaurant but with their dates at different tables or stay overnight in adjoining hotel rooms. They were very creative. She should be able to request some leave when she gets her permanent duty station, so maybe you can plan a visit in her hometown, which might be nice for her to celebrate with her family if you'll be proposing, or you can always encourage her to try asking for special liberty to sign out with you as her liberty buddy for a night or two. You don't have to be married or related to be a special liberty buddy.
  • Allison

    I used to drive by it almost every day dropping sailors in my carpool off, and it seemed pretty nice, but my husband said that the graduates and students are not allowed to go there, so it might not be a great option if you were planning on spending time at your hotel with him/her.
  • Anti M

    Navywife, if you have a military ID, you probably do not need the gate pass, although it will speed things up.   Should be a fairly painless process.

    https://www.basedirectory.com/great-lakes-naval-base-directory/visi...

  • Michael

    Yeah that rule was change sometime back
  • 18gf

    can someone help me on what to do for bah or on base housing my husband is in class that's away from base and when he gets back the offices are closed .. is there anything i can do to get the process going faster?
  • Michael

    Need more information BHA is always on the paycheck divided into two paycheck and it's based on where the family is living. If you live in base housing you will never see BHA. If you live off base it will be on your husbands check
  • 18gf

    yeah i needed information on how i can help him get me as a dependent and apply for on base houseing or bah bc he is at a range till 4 and the offices are closed at 4. i was just wondering what i could do so i can move out there as soon as possible
  • abuon18

    18gf - tell him to explain to his instructor what he needs to do and ask if he can leave early one day to take care of it. Most instructors will let them leave early to do what they need to as far as family is concerned as long as it's not a test day - it's very very rare that I've heard of someone coming back and saying the instructor said no. Otherwise, until you're in his page 2 there isn't much you can do. If his instructor says no, you'll have to call the office on his base, explain the situation and ask them if there is anything you can do.
  • Michael

    Like aboun said if your legally married you should be on his page two. And BHA goes right on the same check as his payroll. If not you will have to go to DEERS and take a copy of your marriage license so they can back date it so you can start receiving it.
  • 18gf

    okay thank you so much do you know if they pay for me to move there?
  • Michael

    They pay for one move so if they paid for his move then they will not pay for you to move. So if all his belongings are still at the original house and now you are moving the FAMILY then yes. But if he used them to move stuff already then no. You should have access to his paychecks online. If. It you have to talk to him because you are entitled to half his pay and BHA. You need to go to the. Nearest military base and see the DEERS office to see what's going on or get on your husbands case to start moving the ball. I had to do it with mine as all he was thinking about was school with all his homework.
  • 18gf

    they paid for him to drive his car from a school does that count as moving?
  • abuon18

    They will not pay to move you to where he is currently stationed because you got married after he received his orders to go there.
  • Paige

    Hi you all, does anybody know about how my Husband & I can get marriage counseling outside of military, but still being able to use Tricare standard in Norfolk,VA? Thanks!
  • abuon18

    Paige, if you have Tricare Standard you can go to the Tricare website and search for providers who accept Tricare insurance and pick one. You don't even need a referral.
  • Michael

    What she said. Also this is this counseling the navy gives for married couples in the summer in key west and they pay for it. My husband wanted us to go to it for a nice fun place lol
  • Paige

    Hi you all,

    My Husband was UA for 17 days, he had TAD orders but decided not to report in until the 17th day prior to his report in date. His ship is already aware of the situation. What consequences could he face? Thank you!

  • abuon18

    Paige do you mean he decided not to check in to his TAD orders until 17 days AFTER his report date?
  • Paige

    Yes, he was suppose to check in on Jan 9th & didn't check in until the 26th of Jan!

  • Anti M

    UA is a serious offense.  He just didn't go?  He is in trouble, they will not treat this as a minor mistake.  

    He will be subject to either a Captain's Mast (non-judicial punishment, only matters to the military) or a court-martial, which has consequences in the civilian world as there is a judge.

    The very least I would expect is restriction (up to 45 days), loss of rank (down one or two paygrades), loss of pay (a month or two worth), and potentially confinement (but maybe not).  If he goes to court-martial, he could be given a bad conduct discharge, which means he cannot hold certain jobs in the future as it it is a felony.  That is worst case though, so he likely will just get restriction, busted down a stripe, and pay a fine.  My best guess based on experience.

    They could choose to do nothing, but that would be really unlikely.  

  • Paige

    Would he be under the same consequences you stated if he was UA for 17 days, because he checked in at the Command on the 17th day prior to Jan 9th when he was suppose to check in! He had to check in on the 9th but didn't check in until the 26th!
  • Michael

    Yes what Anti M has stated even one day going AWOL can get you court martial down grade in pay and what she said it's serious it's nothing to joke about. Your looking at a felony meaning he can never practice law can't vote can't be a doctor he better get a lawyer that deals with this.
  • Paige

    Does it depend on the ship on how the consequences or how does it all work?
  • Michael

    No it's Navy law. It military law plain and simple. I would look into getting a military lawyer. A few years back a solider left his post for two days and was jailed for 90 days and court martial. This is the military this is not civilian world where you get slaps on the wrist. Your trained and given secrets that's why it's so important to follow rules and laws.
  • Paige

    What about for TAD orders? Does the same consequences apply?
  • Michael

    I don't know what your not understanding if your late and don't show you are AWOL period. If your suppose to be at the ship on the 19th at 0600 then you are there at that time period. Whatever if in writing you must follow unless you are directed differently by a chief or above. Your husband should have someone he has to keep in contact with at all times since he's newer.
  • Michael

  • Paige

    Thank you all for the information, it helped!
  • Paige

    What happens when you get a DRB?
  • Michael

    Picture
    P. SIMMONS, Military Lawyer
    Sir, the first thing to keep in mind is that while the DRB is an administrative hearing, if you present evidence, that evidence can be used in a later proceeding. So, for example, if you testify at the DRB and they decide to send the case to a court, your testimony at the DRB can be used at court.

    The other thing you want to understand is that before the Naval drug lab reports a positive on a urine test, that test goes through a GCMS test. Gas chromatography–mass spectrometry (GCMS) is basically a chemical fingerprint of the substance. It is not the same as an assay test, which tend to not be accurate (for example, many commercially available over the counter medications and supplements can cause a positive screening on an assay test but will screen negative for GCMS testing)

    I am not a forensic pathologist...but that is what you need.

    If your goal is to fight this you really need to talk to a forensic pathologist to see if the substance you took can screen positive in a GCMS testing for Serax.

    IF that is the case? Then that is what you want to present at the DRB

    Be careful though...if you go to the DRB and claim you never took Serax but took _____ (whatever it is you took) you can bet that the commander will consult with a forensic pathologist (there is at least one at every Naval hospital) to see if that is possible. If it is not? Then you may well find yourself facing additional charges of false official statement.

    On the other hand, if you contact a forensic pathologist? And they can confirm that the substance you took will test positive for Serax in GCMS testing? Then you are set.

    BotXXXXX XXXXXne: I would not make a statement at the DRB unless/until you can confirm whatever it was you took can test for Serax in a GCMS screening test. My guess is the answer is no...but there are exceptions since many drugs are derived from plants...just make sure you have a basis for the claim before you raise it...if you do not and are wrong, you may find yourself in worse trouble than you started with
  • QueenKnight

    Hi all! Thanks for the add! I'm actually the mom, my son is in bootcamp currently. He just got married, and his wife is here with me(so please don't kick me out..lol). Is there a link or somewhere we can get information on what she needs/can be doing right now? Will she be able to go to Pensacola with him or should she wait? Those type questions. Thanks for all your help!
  • Michael

    As long as she's on his orders then she can go.
  • elizabeth_fl

    She should be able to go with him to Pensacola as she should be on his orders. But I have seen where some wives stay in their hometowns until their husbands are finished with schooling and have their orders for their first duty station :) 

  • Allison

    It depends on the length of his A school if she'll be put on his orders. The best thing she can do right now is focus on sending some positive letters with lots of words of encouragement to help him through bootcamp. My husband always wanted to know what was going on in the world and at home. I also sent sports updates. Saving money is a great idea, and if she's missing any official documents like original birth certificate or is short on copies of their marriage certificate, she should get those things together in a safe place since all kinds of reasons to have them will come up. If she doesn't have a passport, she should get one just in case. I also recommend downsizing since moving is a pain, but it doesn't have to be extreme, just if she has books she'll never read again or clothes she hasn't worn in months, that kind of stuff.
  • QueenKnight

    Thanks. They just got married in Dec so we have aLl the paperwork with extra copies everywhere! Lol. I'm kinda like yall, I think she should wait till be gets stationed. Wonder were that will be?
  • Allison

    Congrats! It's tough making the decision whether to move or not. I moved with my husband to A school, but I was put on his orders because he had a long school. Usually it's about 6 months to qualify as a permanent duty station and move with your spouse, so we were fortunate in that respect. If she doesn't get put on the orders because it's a short school, I would recommend waiting because they will only see each other during liberty hours and he'll have to have a buddy all the time while he's in school. It will also save a lot of money to wait for the Navy to pay for the move to his first permanent duty station.
  • Anti M

    Paige, the DRB is where they review your sailor's infraction, and decide whether to proceed with Captain's Mast, at what level, or if they are going for a CourtsMartial.

    Just because the orders were TAD, for a limited time away from his main command, does not make them any less important or "real" than orders which are a change of duty station.  He had a place to be, at a specific time, and he chose not to go.  I do not know why he made that choice, but it was an extremely poor decision.  

  • Anti M

    Good morning, Queenknight. Welcome!

    Allison is correct regarding moving to A school, unless she is on the orders, and the school is over 20+ weeks, then it is better financially to stay where she is.  You can google the seat time for what rating he will be, as that is what they base Accompanied vs. Unaccompanied orders on.  Be aware that he will be there longer than any stated seat time, but hold times waiting to class up does not count.  Right now there is not much she can do except find as much current information as possible.  Always look at the date and source of what she is told.  You will find that dependents can only do so much, and "hurry up and wait" is going to be part of her new normal.

    Here is the COOL site where you can find the length of A schools.  Let me know if you need specific help and I can try.

    http://www.cool.navy.mil/usn/

  • Paige

    Hi you all, My Husband & I are expecting a child, whats the process on adding a future dependent to Navy! Thank you!
  • WifeofaUSsailor

    Hi Paige,

    Congrats! My husband and I just recently had a baby boy and the process was fairly easy. I had him in a civilian hospital though so sometimes they do more of the paperwork for you when you're in a military hospital. But after we had him we had to take his birth certificate to the ID station on base and register him with Deers. After his social security card came in the mail we had to take that to the ID office as well. Your baby will basically be covered on Prime for the first 60 days after he's born automatically but it's up to you to call and enroll him in Prime permanently after he's born (if you want him to be on Prime). You can also call TriCare and they will walk you through the process and steps you need to take after the baby is born.