Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Thank you DieselLady! I really appreciate it! I'm working on keeping my head up!

Ellek73 ... hang in there.  It is difficult enough to be apart, adding a sense of guilt when missing a visit makes it all that much harder.  Try not to beat yourself up!

He is reporting to his first duty station. PCS is Permanent Change of Station, so some say "PCSing".

ARE WE KIDDING?!

I know this is the internet, but it is the next day, we're here for support, so LET IT GO.   Move forward, please.  No one wins the internet with name calling.  

Thank you.

Thank you Anti M! I'm still trying to get the lingo down :P I finally got moved out of my apartment today so all and all feeling  a bit better 

One thing at a time!

@18gf ... is your So in the AIRR program?  They're with a squadron assigned to a ship, but can be at air bases.

I found a discussion on Reddit which may give you some insight.  It is a couple years old, so you can't ask questions or post a reply.

https://www.reddit.com/r/newtothenavy/comments/2x0dqo/some_specific...

That would be a long shot.  I wouldn't say it was impossible, but I wouldn't put money on it.  I'm not sure if the squadrons there are the type which have billets for AIRR.  I'm guessing though, as I was an ET.  My dad was stationed at Point Mugu once, but I was only ten ...

Since your husband is stationed there, he should be able to find out if there are those types of billets.

My fiance graduates boot camp July 14th. We want to get married the day after. Does anyone have any information on how to go about that? Has anyone got married after? Any information is helpful. Just trying to get everything planned out. 

@pinkpig ... just so you know, they are told not to marry on PIR weekend.  They are supposed to submit a special request chit to do so, and take a short class or go to a counseling session. They sign a page 13 stating they will follow all the liberty regulations.

It takes two days to marry in IL.  One to get the license, the ceremony the next day.  If his A school is in any other location than Great Lakes, it is impossible to marry that weekend.

So the question is, does he want to begin his enlistment violating one of the rules?  Some couples do, and he cannot be forbidden to legally marry, but they could potentially punish everyone in his group checking into that school, and certainly his liberty buddy.   Liberty has been rescinded for everyone on Sunday in years past.  Please consider the consequences carefully.   There is a reason fiancees travel to Great Lakes during phase two or three of liberty to marry.

@DeeBo ... if he is in Ship 5 for illness or injury, he will be cared for until he is healed, then go into another division.  If his situation is more than RTC medical can handle, he will be separated and sent home.  This takes several weeks.  Ship five also has a unit for those being separated for other reasons, again, it takes a few weeks to do all the paperwork.

http://navyformoms.ning.com/group/ship17moms

@PinkPig ... there is a 24 hour waiting period.

https://www.lakecountyil.gov/383/Marriage-Licenses

@AntiM he hasn't said anything about being punished. I will talk to him more about when he calls. He's not one violate rules..the guy who scheduled all of their workouts before leaving for boot camp was actually the one who told us we could get married. And i believe his recruiter even told us we could. Thank you for the information. It's appreciated.     

You know why the recruiter said this?  So he didn't have to do the paperwork if you married before he shipped.  

But yes, the new sailors are told during their in briefing at TSC (training side is a different command than RTC), not to go get married.  The command has a procedure, and it takes time to get the chit through.  Assuming he is going to go to A school at Great Lakes, yes?

They can't punish him for getting married, they can for violating the liberty rules.  It doesn't seem like much of a difference, but there it is.  Some of the school commands are looser than other, but that changes all the time.

I am ex-Navy myself, was an ET.  

@DeeBo ... hang in there, Ship 5 is a scary thought.  My friend broke his leg in boot camp, they kept him in the recovery unit for over six weeks.  They do make phone calls, sometimes.  I think it is covered in the group I linked you to.  Best wishes for him, and I hope you hear something soon!

Just another marriage question: My boyfriend just started A school and he will be stationed in San Diego until 2020. Is "the sooner the better" really beneficial or not really? 

He told me we'll get married after two years. Also, I live in UK so I'm thinking there's no point of waiting for 2 more years if marriage is our end game? I mean, I can live there if we get married, living here in England sucks and is depressing and I'm living alone. I actually don't know his reason, but could be because he wants to save up or that we're still young  (he's just 21 and i'm 23) but does that really matter? I just really want to be with him as we've been in LDR for 2 years now . Besides, i'm cool with the simplest form of wedding so there's that. 

Any thoughts? I'll discuss this with him after getting answers from you guys. Is two years worth waiting or getting married after a school is better? Or would it be possible for us to get married after 6 months of active duty in San Diego? If so, is that better?

I hope this makes sense! Thanks in advance everyone!

DeeBo, did he say he was being separated? Ship 4 is where RCU is... not ship 5, so that makes me think he's not being rehabilitated. My husband was in RCU (Ship 4) for 6 weeks. He rehabbed his torn PCL enough to complete BST and graduate. In ship 4 they were allowed phone calls only on Sundays, IF everyone (including female unit) behaved themselves. They were allowed to read/write, again, only if behaving. There were several times that all privileges were secured, meaning no writing/reading/NEX/ or phone calls. When my hubby got out, they had just gotten a new chief and she was bound and determined to make examples of many of them for misbehavior...

If you find out hes in RCU, feel free to message me and I can tell you all about it. Best of luck!

Hi Michael. Good thing I flew in the US last March for a short visit before he went in the bootcamp. So, we need to apply for fiance visa first if we intend to get married, is that right? Also, which makes more sense though, getting married after 2 years or as soon as possible? 

I asked him why after two years, he said he wanted to be stationed overseas! Haha. 

Thank you, Michael!

Hi Abuon18. He thinks that his chance of being stationed overseas could decrease if he's married, so he's holding it off as he really want to go overseas. I don't know where he got that, probably through his shipmates. He's not an E-4 yet and I'm cool not being able to go with him overseas yet. But what I have in mind is that if he finally get his order and he'll be stationed in San Diego for 3 years as he initially said, maybe we could get fiance visa then get married after a-school so I can live with him in San Diego. Wouldn't marrying a US citizen gives me the privilege of living in US also? Though I understand that airfare is on me and that the housing allowance for married sailor is not yet applicable as he got his order while still single.

But I agree that respecting his decision is best. I just feel so frustrated and the weather here is horrible and everyone's getting depressed, I really need to get out of this country. Thanks for the comment :)

We got our orders. My hubby will be in A School a few more weeks. He got an email from his sponsor that sounded like I wouldn't be able to move with him right away.. Does anyone know anything about this? Also, if we live off base, I can move there at any time, right..? 

I don't know why you could not go right away, unless his orders are overseas.  The Navy usually prefers dependents travel concurrent with the military member.  Where are the orders to? You can PM me if you don't want to say, but that is not an opsec violation.  Just the base area is okay, if there's a ship involved, you don't have to say about that.

He's PACT, no C school.