Sassy4jake

Female

San Diego, CA

United States

Profile Information:

A little about me:

i am a first time Navy mom with 3 kids; 2 daughters and 1 son. They are 24, 22, and 19. My son is my youngest and joined the Navy in January, 2015.

Up until he was 15, we lived with his dad in an abusive, unhappy, and damaging home. My daughters were already on their own. My son was growing up to be a very insecure and angry young man. It was my hope to show him what a loving, supportive, and happy home felt like in the last few years I would have him at home.

Unexpectedly, I received an inheritance from my great aunt and immediately took the opportunity to make changes for the both of us. His dad refused to leave the home so my son and I rented a trailer in someone's backyard for a year. I enrolled him in an amazing high school which focused on unconditional acceptance and building on strengths. Unfortunately it was far from home so he had to take an hour long trolley ride to and from school every day by himself. It was worth it. The changes I saw in him were positive and breathtaking.

However, that first year was incredibly painful, terrifying, lonely, and the most challenging time of my life. There were many times I thought I wouldn't make it. My son had to watch me cry, hurt, doubt, and struggle with the emotions of a newly single mom. He was my motivation to keep going. He was so patient with my mood swings and encouraging when I was down. We became a team and faced every hurdle together, supporting one another through every step.

During the next few years, we were able to get a one bedroom apartment. We modified the dining room to make a personal space for him. He grew into this amazing confident, social, and HAPPY man right before my eyes. Despite all the times he would reach out to his dad for support but usually get more disappointment. Yes, he still had moments of self doubt when faced with a new challenge, but he forged ahead. Nothing came easy for him in school and every achievement took very hard work and perseverance. He made it, though!

When he decided to join the Navy right out of high school, I was so proud then scared. I know he is strong but a person can only take so much. What if he got bullied again like in elementary and middle school? What if he couldn't remember all the rules? What if his superiors treated him like his dad did with constant condescending and demoralizing comments? I wouldn't be there to help him this time. Did I work hard enough to help him stand on his own and maybe push back enough to earn respect? Or did I raise a "mama's boy"? Many people told me I had. Well, with no father or male role model in his life, not sure we could expect much else. So how will that affect him in the Navy? When he would call during bootcamp and sound so down because he wasn't sure he could pass the many physical and academic tests, I would just remind him that he was strong and smart and tell him to face these tests the same as all the others in his life. With each phone call, he would tell me about his latest achievements until he was down to one last chance to pass one last test. He was one of 5 recruits who still needed to pass the physical requirements. My son's challenge was the sit-ups and if he didn't succeed this time, he would be held back. Knowing his grandma, sister, dad (yes!) and I already had flights and hotels booked, he refused to let us or himself down. He was the only one of the 5 who passed.

Today, as a mom, I still have those worries and questions. Even more now that he is moving on without the structure of boot camp to guide him. But I just attended his PIR and am so proud of the man he has become in 8 short weeks. Who am I kidding? Those 8 weeks felt like an eternity!

Those worries are mine to deal with and I will. If he can grow from a broken little boy into a man who will face the future with positive determination, then I can too.

I am here to support my

Son/Daughter

Stage of (Sailor’s) Navy career?

Enlisted

When I heard “Navy,” I...

Was proud and encouraged it

Our Navy experience so far...

It was positive and maturing. Our relationship has grown stronger.

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