When my son/daughter first spoke about joining the service I…

[Navy for Moms Admin]

Story Time anyone?
I know when you first join N4M’s one of our standard Q’s is: When my son/daughter first spoke about joining the service I…

And then usually there are the standard answers like:
Was concerned or afraid, Was confused, Needed to learn more about it, Was proud, Was relieved, Encouraged him/her, Said “No way!”

But I'm starting this thread- because I wanted to hear the stories and memories behind these standard answers! Things like: How did they bring it up to you? What was the reasoning? I see your responses to this question and I think things like "I wonder why they were confused. Or if they said “no way” how did still end up joining?" Heh. Plus, I think every mom on here has an interesting story to tell.
So (pretty please) take us back to that moment…

[ROBIN ORTIZ]

My son came home and said "Mom, I'm not going to college". Point blank. I thought I would pass out. "WHAT?!" Mind you he was at the end of his first semester senior year. Tristen said he wanted to join the Marines--RECON. I told him absolutely not. He was not going to Iraq!!! Well, his dad was a Marine so all the kids have grown up around the Navy and Marine Corp--all his friends were courtesy of the military in this town. After a few days, he approached me again and asked to at least have a discussion about it. We sat down and he gave me his reasons for wanting to join the corp and I gave him my reasons--some of his were better than my replies, I might add. I agreed to entertain the idea of the military but not the Marines. So he said "so you'll at least let me talk to the Navy recruiter right?" I agreed. I think he set me up-gave me the worst case scenario first. Dammit!After that-forget it. There was no turning back. Tristen was full on ready for the Navy. He took his dad and I to the recruiter (who has been great). Then the discussion of MOS's commenced. He came home very excited that he had prequal'd for the SEALS. Oh NO!!!! I wanted to keep him out of RECON, now the SEALS? Yes they have a great bonus, yes I'm sure it's exciting. But my baby...in constant danger? Again the open discussion. He asked me if I wanted him surrounded by men that knew what they were doing, in a field that he would love, and for short in and out missions, or did I want him stuck at a desk job he would hate and still being sent to combat areas for 12mths at a time? Ok Ok I get it. In the end, he got what he wanted but so did I. He agreed to a nice "safe" computer job as a backup if he didnt make it through SEALS. I am proud either way. I know I want the best for him, but after our many "discussions" on the matter, it's his life to live and I can only support him in that. I have told him many times before he left for BC (2wks ago) to make his own decision- I will love him and be extremely proud if he sweeps the floors or wears the highest rank-I got his first letter about 4 days ago and he sounds proud and is still drawing smiley faces--wonder how long that will last?

[arlene]

It was a Saturday morning, 4 months before Josh's graduation from high school, I (his mother) brought up the topic of joining the Navy. Of course, that was after numerous discussions of what he was planning on doing after high school and basically he thought he could do nothing. Wrong answer! He was given the usual options (college, full time job or military). My husband and I both thought the military would be good for Josh. One Saturday morning Josh was in the mood to listen to me so I took advantage of it. We talked about his plans after high school and he did not have any. That is when I brought up the Navy as an option. I was in the Navy and we talked about my experiences and what I got out of it. Then I went into what he could get out of it. We continued to talk about the Navy and during Spring/Easter break we went to see the Navy Recruiter. A week after graduation Josh started the process. The recruiter was wonderful; he knew I was in the Navy and he made no attempts to deceive Josh. After Josh completed the initial MEPS processing, we were floored to hear how high he scored on the ASVAB test. The recruiter said Josh qualified for any job in the Navy. Did I tell you how lazy Josh was throughout high school and we had our doubts that he would score high enough to get accepted into the Navy? Yeap, that was our son, LAZY and driving us nuts. Before going to MEPS, Josh and I did our homework; we researched the Navy rates on line. He went to the classifier at MEPS with a list of rates that he was interested in, rates that he would not accept and some that he had questions about. During our searches on line, I did not go over the CT rates with him (honestly, I did not think he would score high enough). I remember telling his recruiter that he needs to be me and look out for Josh. He did. We got the call from Josh and his recruiter when they were finished with MEPS and his recruiter told me that Josh selected the CTR rate. I was quiet over the phone and didn't say anything. I heard the recruiter say to Josh "I think your Mom is upset." I wasn't upset, I was so surprised and excited that Josh picked the CTR rate. When Josh got home he got after me (in a fun way) that I never went over the rates that began with CT. He was glowing and so proud of what he had accomplished.

Josh was in DEP for 9 months before he shipped out. We had his going away party and then it really sunk in; Josh, my baby, is leaving. We took him to the recruiter one last time (the recruiter drove him to MEPS). I remember sobbing that evening. The next morning my husband, son, my parents and I went to MEPS to watch him swear in and say our goodbyes. Once again, I sobbed the rest of the day until I got the 10 second phone call that night; Josh was calling from Great Lakes to say he was there, safe and he loved us - then I said "that's it" he said he could not talk anymore and had to go (I heard yelling in the back ground). I told him I loved him, he said he loved me and that was the end of the call. My husband and son came running into the living room when they heard the phone ring and by the time they got there, it was over - I told them that was the call we had all been waiting for. Josh had started bootcamp. We all laugh! It was the craziest feeling. We didn't have to worry about Josh for the next 9 weeks; the Navy was taking care of him now.

My fondest memory since Josh has been in the Navy was the hug after PIR. Once we found each other after PIR, we cried in each others arms and could not let go. It was a moment I will never forget. We were all so proud of him.

Josh comes home in 48 hours. He will spend 2 weeks with his family and friends before he goes on his first Med. Cruise aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt. I have participated in numerous deployments as a wife and sailor and it is never easy. My heart always aches when it's time to deploy. Thank goodness for email and cell phones!

[John]

Ladies, I not a Mom of a Sailor, but I thought I'd tell you my story. When I was in HS I had a decision to make...I would either enlist in the Navy or I would go to the Seminary to become a Catholic Priest. At the time I discussed it with my Guidance Counselor and he made some suggestions, but eventually I had to make the decision. I went into the Seminary, after 9 years of education I was ordained a priest in 1987. Immediately after I went to my Bishop and asked his permission to enter the Navy as a Chaplain. He said "no." For the next 17 years I went to my Bishop and restated my question and my desire to become a Navy Chaplain and for 17 years he said "no." Finally, knowing it would be my last chance, because I was getting older and wouldn't be eligible to enter the Military, I went into the Bishop, who happened to be new to our Church and was still in a good mood about be assigned to Buffalo, NY, I asked one last time and he said: "Yea, sure go ahead!" I sat there stunned and asked him to repeat himself, and again he said: "I'm serious, do it!" So, at the ripe old age of 45 I went to Chaplain's School for 12 weeks of boot camp, every morning getting up at 4:00 a.m. for physical training, running, sit-ups, push-ups, and everything else you could imagine, go to class everyday from 0700 until 1700, taking 5 mile hike's in full gear once a week. Going to Battlestations, and finally a week of training with the Marines. My classmates and I graduated on 12 August 2005, my 77 year old mother was there, and she said: "I'm proud of you, Johnny!" The best words I could have heard. I've wanted to serve since I can remember. My two grandfathers were in WW I, my father and uncle, and many cousins in WW II and Korea, my brother and sister served in the Navy as well, both during the First Gulf War. Now, finally I'm doing what I feel God has called me to do, serving God and my country by taking care of our Sailors, Marines and Coast Guard. Thank God, and thank you, ladies, it's because of you that your Sailors have the courage, honor and commitment to serve their country in a time of war.
Fr. John

[Barb K.]

Father John,
Thank you so much for your inspirational story. Religion is a valuable piece of the story for many of our sailors and to know that a man of your devotion wanted to not only serve his God, but also his country must be motivational to the men and women you serve as a part of our military forces. I for one would like to say thank you for all you do and your dedication to our sailors.

Barb K.

[Char]

Hi Father John:

I grew up in Catholic church but since have changed to Pentecostal (52 years old). In any event, I was wondering my son just entered boot camp and he grew up going to church every Sunday and basically liked the time we spent in church. Catholic service 9:00 to 9:45 a.m. Pentecostals 9:30 - 2:00 p.m. (I guess we believe the longer we spend in church the closer we are to God, hahaha!) He is having difficulty hearing the guys (in command) curse! That's the first thing he said, is "mom, they are cursing at me"! How did you handle that? Please let me know. Thanks.

[John]

Char, I've learned that that is the way some people talk. For most people who do it, they aren't aware that they are doing it, it has become second nature to them. But, I was surprised because it doesn't happen all that often and it's not just because I'm a priest. It's just something that they don't do. However, there are some that do it just because they don't know any better or because they like the shock value. The best way of handling it is to ignore it, if it gets too offensive then I wouldn't advise your son to approach his RDC directly but to talk with his Chaplain who can take care of it without your son getting into trouble. I hope this helps. P.S. If you want to come back the doors always open. :) Just kidding!

[Lori]

My daughter first thought about joining the Navy when I sat her down with the recruiter! She did NOT want to go there! She hit it off with the recruiter, and the rest is history. Sometimes mom knows best, and it's been good so far. She is happy. Of course, I would blame myself if she wasn't happy. But, I gave HER the choice right up until the end.

[K]

True story...my husband and I were worried about what our son was going to do after high school. He was so unfocused he never even took his SATs! At wits end and with my husband saying he wished the kid would look into the military...I went out on the Navy.com site and put his name and address down as requesting information. My intention was just to show the door....son could decide to open and go through but at least it was doing something. I had forgotten it about three months later and was surprised when my husband told me that a recruiter had called son and was coming to the house! lol My husband and son were so "together" on this that I just said it was wonderful and let them go through everything together. They still have no idea I was the one that put his name in the bowl to start with! Now he is on his way to the Nuke program and excited about it...he's come a long way!

[Christy Adams]

SHOCKED!!! It was the Saturday before Easter weekend, Talk about "The Last Supper" In my own selfish thought, I compared myself to God! Giving up my only son, celebrating our last supper.... I remember our pastor saying, you must be so proud of him, I stopped in my tracks and said, you know, I haven't even thought of being proud of him, I was embarrassed! That was the turning point, I quit feeling sorry for myself and started to support my son with the decision he made, which of course turned out to be the right decision. My daughter, in nursing school, gave Jared the biological reasons why at age age 18 he didn't have the maturity level of making this decision.... OH MY - We had to ban the "N" words, (nursing and navy) for Easter so we could have no yelling at the table - yes, not exactly one of the best family moments. We have all grown to love the Navy and understand it better. Just hard to let them go!! Still missing him - PIR 10/3 !!

[Jo]

It was March of last year, Brett was about to graduate from high school and didn't have much of a plan for the future. He had every branch of the military, except the Navy, calling and coming to the house to get him to join. They finally called one afternoon, he made an appointment to talk to them.
We went to the office and he asked a lot of questions. He didn't seem very interested, but we went back the next day with his Dad. When we got home I asked him what he thought, he said, "I'm going to join" It's a good thing I was sitting down!
His Dad (who was in the Army for 26 years) had to take a minute to get used to the idea of the Navy.He now wears a Navy Dad hat everyday.
Brett left for Great Lakes less than a week after his 18th birthday, graduated boot camp last Oct. and A school in April. He's now stationed less than 200 miles from home so we get to see him at least once a month.
Joining the Navy was the best thing that he could have done.

[Valorie, Proud mom of this MA]

Our son decided shortly before graduation that he would enlist, he knew he wanted to be a police officer but at 18 he was several years away from being able to apply at our local police department. College was his original plan, but as it neared time to to start checking out classes, he knew he wanted more adventure and another 4 years of school offered none of that! He wanted to join the Army or Marines, he wanted to "run through the woods and bark at the moon". I was sick at the thought of him joining either of those branches, I am a bit ashamed to admit it, but one day we had a long talk I used the mother guilt, I am now glad I did though, he was very appy with his choice . A week later he said he would stop by the Navy recruiter to check it out, bad-a-boom, bad-a-bing, he enlisted that week. He was signed up in the DEP and scheduled to go to BC in March 2009, but when a spot became available for October 7, 2008 he took it, we had 3 weeks to wrap our hearts and minds around the idea that he was leaving.

[Jean C]

jeff was born in 1972 in manassas, Va. while his father was stationed at the pentagon as a Senior Chief petty officer. We received a letter of congratulations from VADM Weymouth on his arrival, with a note that in 18 years we'd be adding another sailor into the family. Sure enough, on his 18th birthday he 'signed up' and went to orlando, Fl. for bootcamp. Jeff was the kid who didn't know what he wanted to do in life, so this looked like a good choice for him. it was only 4 years.....or so we thought! I look at his pictures now, and see this skinny little teenager, unsure of himself and scared to death. Now it's 18 years later, and he's now taking the test soon to "make Chief", and the word 'retirement" keeps coming up in conversations. he recently told me "Ma, the kids I had with me in iraq were being born when I went into the Navy"!! LOL. Where in the world have all the years flown by to,,,so fast?
He became a Seabee, which I thought was appropriate with all the treehouses and bike ramps that had built in the backyard for so many years. Now I go thru my scrapbook and look at all the pictures, maps, and articles about the different battalions, and am amazed at how he had definately 'joined the navy and seen the world'. he's gone from building bike jump ramps to building airstrips at TQ. It still amazes me what he has learned over the past "few years" =)
What most of all stands out, is the compassion and leadership that i see. The last time he came home from Kuwait, i found myself just standing there listening to him to talk to my neighbor about the pros and cons of 'withdrawing', or doing an interview with his nephew about his time in iraq (for a school newspaper project-- and thinking that this is the kid that I was putting on a plane, and crying all the way home from Boston. he's an adult that has shown me how important it is to be so 'gung ho' about his career. I can't say enough about the Navy and what it has done for our family/ but then i have to be so very proud of Jeff, and what he has given back to the USN, and all the younger sailors that hopefully he has influenced over these past years.
Guess i have to give up my title as "39 and holding",,,,,,,,,as the kids are beginning to pass me by!! life has been good/ but the best accomplishment is to see all 5 kids with careers that they love and are comitted to.