5 Stages of Boot Camp for Parents & Loved ones

[Micki (Yokosuka Japan~ USS GW)]

Hi All,

A boot camp Dad posted this on facebook and I thought is was so good, I wanted to share it her:

The Five Stages Of Loved Ones During Basic Training. Stage

1: Denial ... The first thought is one of disbelief. The person cannot believe their Loved One wants to join the Navy. (Are you kidding me???) This stage is often accompanied by deep sighs and a hope that sanity will return.

 

Stage 2: Anger “OK. Are you are just doing this to get even with me for something? Why are you trying to be mean me? Have you sought professional help?“

Stage 3: Bargaining “If you don’t go, I will cook your favorite meal EVERY DAY.”

Stage 4: Depression “OMG, (He /She) really is gone to Boot Camp. I won’t get a letter for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! And no phone calls for a MONTH! And I won’t get to see (him / her) for TWO MONTHS!!! Sigh… Life as I have known it is over… “

Stage 5: Acceptance “PIR is almost here!!! I am so excited!!! I am so proud!!! What am I going wear? How do I get there? Can my entire extended family attend? Can I stand next to my Sailor during PIR? Will there be an entire team of photographers and videographers dedicated to my Sailor’s every move? Can I meet (him / her) outside before they march in? Can I come live in their Division area with them until Graduation Day??? Etc… etc… And then suddenly, before you know it, you are sitting there and the door rises and in they march in to the Drill Hall ...

 

[Kurtmansmom]

Hi heatherT....I know what you are feeling, it's really hard. It does hit you. It's up and down, happy and sad and the wait just makes it worse. My son graduates May 27 and leaves BC June 13, It's been 6 long months. But this site is wonderful, you realize your not crazy after all. Nobody else can't understand what we are going through unless they have been though it. My friends try, but they really don't understand. Thats why we are here. Hang in there, pray, pray for Gods guidance and we will be ok. Also stay busy! This site is very addicting! Not getting much done!

[tdbridges]

Thank you for this discussion! When my son decided to enlist we were so proud of him, knowing it was going to be a great path for his future.  The waiting-almost 9 months-was harder for him than me.  The last month was really tough for both of us though.  I tried to be the strong one and not cry when we talked about him leaving.  That worked until the last week then we both avoided the topic to make each other feel better.  Worked for us because we had already talked over the business side of things and have always been really close.  The last day was tough-him saying good bye to friends and family.  Dropping him off was the worst and fortunately I had the day off from work and got to cry by myself all day.  Stage 4 definately hit-and I am working my way out of it.  I know he is in a tough spot right now and it hurts that I can't fix things--always the mom side-but I also know he is going to become an even more incredible young man and make an amazing sailor.  He is getting so much more for his future and I can't wait to see him in 2 months, walking through those doors with so much pride on his face!!!

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

tdbridges    when does your rct graduate.?  There is or will be a PIR group for that sate....just let me know and I'll post the date.

[tdbridges]

Thank you--I don't have the official date yet but I am assuming it is the last Friday in June...I am hoping to get the form letter with all that important info next week--keeping my fingers crossed anyway.  If I am understanding things right he should've been assigned his PIR group yesterday.

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

Great...join http://www.navyformoms.com/bootcampmoms   here you'll connect with others with a rct in boot camp...soon the link to your PIR group will be posted. Also   http://www.navyformoms.com/group/leavinforbootcampinapril  is a good site to connect with those who left when yours did.

[ebigirl]

My son PIR'd exactly one year ago. I have to say that the stages are spot on. The real difference that helped my son do very well in bootcamp is that he enlisted on his own. He wasn't talked into it, wasn't forced. He joined because HE wanted to join. He was 19 and having a hard time finding a job.

That said, I never in a million years would have thought I would react the way I did while he was gone. I felt like I was paralysed, and was glued to N4M's everyday. I'm telling this only in the hopes that it helps other mom's (and dad's) who might feel the same way.

I now know that my son was safe, very well taken care of, and matured leaps and bounds during the 8 weeks he was in bc. The Navy does an awesome job with these recruits in the short 8-9 weeks they have them. It was exactly what my son needed, and even he accepts and recognizes this.

My son did work out, ran and swam prior to bc. He went from an E-1 to and E-2 just because he passed all of the physical requirements the very first time. He still had to pass the physical the other 2 times, which he did with no problem. For those of you with kids/husbands/wives etc... who don't/won't work out prior to leaving, this might be information worth passing along.  :-)

One last piece of advice. If you can attend PIR, please do. You will not be sorry, and your SR will be thrilled that you are there, even if they don't tell you that. The ceremony itself is very moving and well done. It will make you feel very proud that you are an American. Seeing your SR, being able to hug, kiss and hold them is priceless. It is worth every penny spent to get there.

[SailorMom92 (DIV 244)]

Thank you for this much needed information.  My son, too, enlisted on his own and will be leaving on June 11-12, 2012 for BC.  It is hard to hold back the tears while he is here still but when I start to feel choked up I always remember a piece of advice another mom wrote...don't miss him while he is home..savor every moment and enjoy him!!  What you have written here is very touching and it helped.  thank you.  

Mom from Allendale, Mi

[zogsmama (ship 11 div 197)]

I think my son will be graduating about the same time.  He went in on April 30.  His address is ship 11 div. 197.  Does that mean he's been assigned to a PIR group.  What does PIR stand for?  I'm guessing that SR stands for Sailor Recruit?

[B daniel]

My husband signed as a e3 so does that mean he got paid as a e1 in rtc and will he get back pay for the differnce?

[ebigirl]

I would think he was paid at his rate of E-3. When they enter bootcamp they want ALL of the SR's to be on the same level playing field (in their minds) and most don't have a clue that someone might be a paygrade or two ahead of the rest. An increase from E-1 to E-2 or starting at E-3 can come from many things. An E-3 rating is probably due to your husband having a college degree? Just a guess, but wanted to use it as an example.

I didn't make my last post very clear. Sorry about that.

[Anti M]

Their pay will reflect what is in their contract, so most going in as E-3 will receive that pay.  It could happen that others will advance to E-3 upon successful completion of boot camp; they would receive E-1 pay.  You have to read the contract to know the individual pay situation.  I have seen this question answered both yes and no by spouses recently, so that means the contracts were different.

[stormy1123 ship 12 div 203]

Got the first letters from my son yesterday. It helped A LOT! So now I think I am moving a little from stage 4 to stage 5! Thanks for all the support and answers I have found on this site so far. I am new so am still learning my way around.