Left for bootcamp Nov 1st, already having a hard time...HELP

[meaganeric-02/11/11]

Yesterday my fiance, Eric, left for bootcamp. I've been wearing his shirts every night to bed, and I cant stop looking at all of the pictures of us. I'm already having a really tough time without him here, and it's really killing me to not know when the next time he's going to call me is, we still don't know his graduation date or his address, and I just miss him so much. :(

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to beat the loneliness, or anything I should/shouldn't write to him in the letters? I just hate feeling so alone right now but I don't want him to know how sad I am, because I don't want to make him feel bad...Help!

 

Meagan

[Anti M]

Do join the girlfriends/wives/fiances group.  The ladies there are going through the same thing, and are very supportive.  You can also learn a lot about Navy life as the SO of a new sailor.

 

[meaganeric-02/11/11]

Thank you! I am part of that group, and reading their posts makes me feel a little bit better. Any idea when he'll be able to send the first letters?

[Anti M]

About third week in at the latest.

[kimberlydale (corpsmanmom)]

Hi Meagan,

My son left on the !st also and from everything I have heard it is an amazing experience and transformation. I am wondering how you went about getting a ship number and division number??

 

You are ahead of me on this journey :):) I wish you well and hang in there .....it will go by so fast!!!

 

sincerely , Kim

 

 

[meaganeric-02/11/11]

Hey Kim!
Well, I called his recruiter (we are fairly close and he makes a point to keep eric's mother and I in the loop), two days after he left and he was more than happy to give the information. However, as I found out yesterday, it may not be the correct address since the recruits move after processing is over, so I will know for sure on monday! Don't hesitate to talk to the recruiters, they can be very helpful! I hope you get your son's address/info very soon!!! Stay postitive!!! :)

 

Meagan

[kimberlydale (corpsmanmom)]

Hey there,

Well thanks for the info. I guess I will call the recruiter on Monday - maybe he will know something. Did your fiance get to Chicago on the 2nd?? I am just wondering if our boys will be in the same PIR ?? 

Hope your days are getting better - I had a melt down today....I just have to remember to take one step at a time and not think about the whole 9 weeks ....I am just thinking about the next time he can call. Which I marked my calendar because when he called from BC he said it would be 2-3 weeks before he could call again. This is so hard because he was my last child at home.....so now we are empty nesters and thats SO sad ......:(:(:(  I actually think I am having a harder time with that .....so one day ...one step at a time !!!!

Take care - K

[slapout52]

Hi Kimberly--I sometimes read posts from moms with SR's so I can get my bearings and remember this challenge.  All I can say is WOW--BC & PIR went so fast that it is hard to believe.  You are about to see the most amazing transformation of your baby's entire life & you're going to feel a kind of pride you haven't experienced since the day he was born.  I almost envy you for the phase you're in.  My Sailor just took his E-4 test & may be a PO by December.  He is finished with A school, working at his permanent duty station, and his ship is scheduled for deployment next spring.  I am in frequent contact with him now, so I am not sure how I'll handle a deployment of several months.

You say you are an empty-nester, and I still have that ahead of me.  You see, my #2 son is nearly 20 & is awaiting his 2012 ship date.  He has joined the Army.  Infantry, no less.  So I will have a Sailor and a Soldier.  If having a brand-new Soldier is anything like having your Sailor go through PIR, I know it's all good.  Keep writing your Sailor--you will meet a wonderful new side of him through the mail.  Keep posting here too.  N4M is a lifeline.

As

[baylorbear]

My daughter left on Nov 1st out of Houston for Great Lakes.  I did get a call that night around 11:37pm saying she had arrived it was very short.  I am anxiously awaiting her call.  I pray a lot and try to stay busy when I'm not at work. 

[Chris's Mom]

Meagan,

My son left on 11/1 as well. I was able to get his address from his recruiter, and it made me feel much better to be able to start sending letters. My understanding is that they can write letters on Sundays, so I am looking forward to hearing from him soon.

Sorry about the missing and the loneliness....just keep thinking about how proud you are of him for his dedication and commitment. I am trying to keep the letters to my son upbeat and happy as I don't want to trigger any feelings of homesickness that I know he already has. I just detail what happened during the day and remind him how happy I am for him to have this wonderful opportunity.

[meaganeric-02/11/11]

Thanks so much for the positive support everybody, it really helps! I've been going to the gym once a day plus doing yoga classes twice a week, which helps and is good for me, and I've been keeping myself busy with things going on around my college campus which is also a huge help. Hoping to get the finalization on my baby's address tomorrow, so then I'll be able to send the 18 letters I've already written!!! I'll let everyone know when PIR date is finalized and all that other good stuff, still anxiously awaiting that first letter/ phone call, but I know it will be totally worth it. Now I've got to go finish Eric's good night letter (I'm on number 19, lol is that bad??!)
Hopefully we'll see eachother at PIR!!! One week down, 7 more to go!!! :)

[Concernedad]

Just a few suggestions from someone who has already been there, done that....

Don't look at bootcamp as a day to day basis. Much easier if you consider week to week. The first few weeks will be very tough for them. This is the way it is intended, break them down, rebuild them. After week three it will start getting easier, and it will for you as well.

You will be receiving a letter in the mail within about a week that will give you pertinent information. Keep this letter. It will give you the password you will need to get a pass if you choose to drive onto the base for graduation. It will also include your SR's address. It may even include a line or two from your SR.

Soon after you will get what is known as your "kid in a box". This will have all the stuff they took with them that they can't keep. Don't panic if you don't get one, they have the option to donate their stuff to a local charity.

As to letters and phone calls. DO NOT BASE WHAT YOU GET ON OTHERS. I capitalize this because this is what drove me crazy. Just because someone else gets three letters and you get none, doesn't mean anything is wrong. No news is good news. It means they are just fine and probably gaining some independence. There is very little rhyme nor reason I found as to why some SR's were allowed extra phone calls, while others did not. It did seem the married SR's may have gotten extra privileges to call their spouses, but again some do, some don't.

I believe they are entitled to a phone call after the third week (although again I haven't found anything official on this).

For what it's worth, I was much more likely to get a response from my SR when I sent him letters that included questionaires. They don't have a lot of time to write, so my son found it much easier if I led him with questions. There are questionaires on this website you can use, or edit to your liking.

I know it is very frustrating not knowing what's going on with them, but getting information from the recruiter is often times inaccurate, and much better to just hang in there and wait. Again, keep in mind, no news is good news.

When you get to graduation week, stay calm. They all run through battlestations at various times. You will get a relieved call once they are finished.

Stay supportive for your SR. This is by far the toughest thing they have ever gone through. Good luck.

[meaganeric-02/11/11]

Thanks so much everybody! All  of the info and the support on here is so helpful, it's really helped me to stay strong for my sailor. Two weeks down already, only 6 more to go! I got this!!! :)