Married & a mother thinking about joining the Navy

[KristyPedy]

Where to begin... I have some questions about being married, being a mommy, and thinking about joining the Navy. I am so afraid to be separated from my husband and 1 year old son, but at the same time I want to do something with my life (aka joining the Navy).

 

Does anyone know what it's like to be in this situation on here? Anyone have any stories to share, etc? My husband is currently employed but does not get that many hours; I am the one bringing home most of the "bacon" and am afraid to just go off and sign a contract right now because he isn't bringing in a whole lot of money for bills. 

 

What about BAH and housing?

[KristyPedy]

oh! and how far has anyone had to travel to see your son, daughter, wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc graduate? we live in Pennsylvania and my husband is talking about traveling to Great Lakes by CAR to watch me graduate, if I sign.

[wehenkelc]

We traveled from Amarillo Texas to Great Lakes to see the graduation- Don't miss it.  They need you and the ceremony is awesome!

[navyvet]

KristyPedy,

 

Not to discurarge you, but think long and hard about how long you can stand to be away from your baby, when you go out to sea, it's amazing how much he will grow that you will miss out on, I was out when I had our first child my husband was still in. When they left I was still nursing when he came back he was eating table food. It isn't an easy life but there are a lot of people that do it and it works for them, and I have a lot of respect for all the sailors and their families that do this on a daily basis. We are driving from Central Pa out to Great Lakes for my sons graduation yup a family tradition continues. Just tell him to bring plenty of finger foods.

[Laura]

Kristy, I'm sorry to read that you and your husband are having financial troubles and I comend you for being willing to do what it takes to improve things for your family.  You didn't say, how does your huband feel about you joining the Navy?  Have you taked to a recruiter yet?  My advice would be to learn every thing that you can so that you can make an informed decision.  I wish you the best of luck.

[bella [mrs. ae2]]

I think as long as you have the support from your husband then you should pursue your desire to join. First off the money situation is this:

The day you get to boot camp is the day you start getting paid. If you bring your current account information with you then they will direct deposit it into that account, along with the BAH (basic allowence for housing) that is alloted in your Home of Record (this is the town that your current address is in and the amount you get runs according to cost of living in your area) So finances are not to be worried about. I know couples who are dual military (both partners are enlisted) and they have children. In this situation normally one is shore duty (they dont get deployed) and the other is sea duty (meaning they do deploy) Anyways, Shore duty is like a normal job (you just work a little longer) and you come home every night. Sea duty is essetially the same excpet once every 1-3 years you get deployed. Most Navy deployments are 6-9 months. Even though MOST people get shore duty, especially when they are very first in, you can get shore duty. Several of my husbands friends from boot camp and a-school have shore duty and they wont get deployed for the next 3 years.  Of course it will be hard for you to be away from your son and husband if you deploy, BUT, men do it all the time, so women should be able to as well. Plus, you can skype, facebook and call them. I think bootcamp would be the hardest part because you only get letters and an occasional phone call. As for Boot camp gradution or PIR (Pass in Review) families travel from all over the country to watch their loved ones graduate. I flew from California to watch my husband graduate.

 

All in all, the military has alot of amazing benifits for families and I think the Navy is a very welcoming branch for that. There is so much support for us spouses out there. So I think so long as you keep a good mindset and are willing to go with the flow of wherever the next 4 years takes you, that it can be a very growing experiance for you and your family. I really support women going into the military. If I were brave enough, I would join (but im a chicken lol)

If you join I fully support your dision because I have seen it done and I think it is a great thing!

 

Honor, Courage, Commitment,

Rachelle.

[WifeyForLifey!!]

When my husband joined it was for similar reasons.  I was pregnant, and just graduating college, it was when the economy was really bad and I didn't have a job.  So, we talked and he joined the Navy.  It was sooo hard at first, but this was mainly because we had never been apart and he left 2 weeks after I delivered our first and only child.  So, I was alone and raising a baby which is hard/ maybe it was the breastfeeding(pumping)  I don't know. 

 

But, after 6 months (2 for boot camp and then it took 4 to get our orders to PCS and have the Navy pay for our move), we(my son and I) got the orders and moved from KY to CT.  The Navy paid like 2,600 ish dollars and we did a partial dity only for what was in our car and got about $400 extra just for that.  Financially, it is a positive, but mentally it is hard.

 

Some pros/cons from my experience are:

 

Pros: BAH/ Housing - the Navy normally has pretty nice housing

         Monthly pay (E-3, advancement with the right amount of college)

         Great healthcare, from my experience the Navy is much better than Army

         You will get to travel!

 

Cons:Missing important events in your child's life

         Being gone a lot

         Duty days - my husband has one every 6 days for 24 hours

         Deployments

         Waiting on orders/ someone else to tell you when you can do things

         Low pay depending on rank

 

But, definitely consider being separated from your child..I have thought about joining also, but I don't want to be away from my son/family that often so I am trying to use my degree and find a good 9-5 type job.

 

Anyways, good luck and if you have any questions, or if you decide to join I will answer your hubby's questions if you want! 

 

Best of Luck,

- Tasha

[KristyPedy]

Sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to everyone. I appreciate everyones answers! My husband is 100% supportive, and I asked him if he thinks I should sign soon but the only answer he can give is, "it's entirely up to you." He was a former US Marine so he thinks that if I join I will get to see what it's like (Navy-wise) and experience some of the things he went through with being in the military itself. My current job is working at a fast food restaurant (Burger King) on minimum wage that doesn't get us very far... he hasn't been able to find work either with the way the economy is today. Yes, I have talked to a recruiter... that was about a month ago; I've lost about 15lbs since I've talked to the recruiter. Oh, so if we have a savings account and I bring the information, they can send my pay right to that? We are with First National here but my husband stands by Navy Fed for banking purposes (when he was in that's where his pay went to).

[Anti M]

A savings account is not versatile when it comes to cash management, but yes, you can use your hometown bank.  We use Navy Fed for our retired pay, and it has served us well for several decades now. It is useful when you are transferred, as many bases have a Navy Fed branch or ATM.

[KristyPedy]

So, would I have to open a checking account instead with my bank? I want to go with Navy Fed but I also want to make sure my family (husband and son) have cash to live off of and pay bills, etc.

[KristyPedy]

We don't use a check book or anything. We have a savings account. If we need cash we go to our bank and pull out money. So, the automatic transfer of funds would probably help. I would want to send at least half of my paycheck to my husband so he could use it for whatever him and my son need when I'd be away at boot camp.

[WifeyForLifey!!]

Actually, you can open an account online, without being "active duty," I would do that so that your family will have access to the money while you are gone.  This will help them a lot.  You will be so busy in basic, and not get to talk to them much if at all.. so any pre-planning you can do will be a great help to them while you are gone and you won't have to worry about anything. 

[WifeyForLifey!!]

And, I am talking about opening one online at Navy Federal, I checked on this before I posted.