Sometimes recruiters are not the best representatives of the United States Navy itself, sorry to say. Some tell little white lies and others big ones. Both my father and mother and now my son and brother are in the Navy. It is a very professional environment, they know their stuff and train well. A Navy representative should not cuss like a sailor. They get in big trouble for doing so. I am sorry to hear that you had that experience. It should be an honor to be a Sailor or Officer of the US Navy. . PS - Speak to another recruiter. Do not be deterred by anyone in what you want to do. You, as a Navy wife, are your own separate entity but part of the Navy family - that supports your husband's decision to better your lives and serve your country. ( You will never stand alone) Good Luck in your decision.
Alright, my husband is not an officer, he chose to go in enlisted and then apply for officer later. We both have college degrees (I am finishing my Masters now) and we both come from military families. I grew up in the military (Army for me though I have lots of experience with Navy and Air-force after my Dad went into government work). My dad was and Officer.
And I can say that the answer is YES and NO. You WILL get a lot of hassle from being an Officer wife from the enlisted wives. Many enlisted wives may treat you differently though not necessarily rudely but you ARE different. Some will outright avoid you because they believe that whatever they say and do will reflect badly on their enlisted husbands if they "goof up" or saying something "stupid" with the belief that you will tell your husband who may have an influence over their next promotion review. The way they see it, better safe than sorry and just try to avoid you. Even if it's not true, and even if you do keep personal life and business life apart they may still view you like this simply because this is the way an Officer wive (and officer life) is portrayed...its a HUGE stereotype but then, stereotypes tend to hold a grain of truth.
You will expected to go to parties and host parties as an officers wife but it won't be an every week ordeal. The only big parties you MUST go to happen about twice a year and these are usually for promotions and the like. Otherwise you aren't really expected to show up to every party even if they do have them. My family only went to three a year, the two promotion parties and the Christmas party...it was always a lot of fun though and its usually not just Officers that go though they do have those. You won't be requires to go but you are expected to go to show support for your husband.
I have met wonderful officers that didn't care about rank so much and I have met real a-holes who treated enlisted like crap. And I myself (I served 4 years active in the Army) once had an officers wife walk all the way across the street to let me know the reveille was playing and that I should DROP my grocery bags, take off my cap, and salute...I was 8 months pregnant with 4 bags in each hand...it is military standard that a pregnant woman does not have to stop in this situation. I told her as much and continued on only to get a call from my commanding officer the next day. His wife told him about me and she was pissed...he didn't really care though and told me just to walk faster next time (LMAO).
As for the language, yeah...it happens. Sorry to say but I cursed like a sailor after being in for a year. It is part of the culture especially when you are enlisted and I will not say that I never heard and officer curse up a storm either. I heard it all the time, sometimes it was even directed at me. But really they aren't allowed to curse anymore and if your uncomfortable you should just say so! In fact, I would put in a complaint and find another recruiter (an officer recruiter would be best).
Like I said, my husband is also going to go Officer eventually and I already know what to expect about the life of an officer wife and family. It's not as bad as it sounds and most of it is just fluff...just let everyone know up front that your YOU and not your husband. You should get along fine with everyone so long as you keep true to yourself!