My son left for bootcamp on June 16, 2010

[neatybeaver]

My son left for bootcamp on June 16th. I am very proud of him and am missing him something terrible. I am looking for someone to talk to and share my thoughts and concerns with. Also someone who can help me understand what happens next and what to expect.

[jane]

Neatybeaver, I am glad you found N4M. It is great support. My son left June 1st and this has been a godsend. I will tell you what I know. I am no expert, but I am about two weeks ahead of you in the journey. First, it does get better as time goes on. It is also an emotional roller coaster, but the moms on the website understand so don't hesitate to write anytime. I hope you got your " I am here" phone call when he arrived. Next should come the form letter and "the box". Be prepared for these things, especially the box. It will contain everything your son had on and had with him except maybe the wallet and address book. It is really weird and can set off a flood of tears, but if you are prepared it helps. Ours arrived about five days after he got to BC. The form letter came the same day, but not everyone's does. There seems to be some variation in time for all of these things. The form letter has lots of info about websites and places to stay for graduation. Your son will have written in his address and about 3 or 4 lines at the bottom. As soon as you get the address, dirve out and mail all the letters you have written so far. I drove out in my pjs because it was late. Anyway, writing those letters really helps. Keep writing and about 2 -3 weeks later you should get your first letter. It seems that they write on Sundays, but it didn't seem like my son was allowed to write on the first Sunday he was there. Then you start waiting for the first phone call that should come about 3 weeks after arriving, but I think they have to earn it. Anyway, I am still waiting for that. It's been just three weeks. When you get the form letter, it will have the PIR (graduation) date on it too. THen you can make travel plans. Make sure they can be changed just in case. I found that I have little rituals that I do each day like saying a good morning prayer, or sending him a positive thought when I see his car in the driveway, whatever works. Join the PIR group for your graduation date. You will see one on here sometime. I don't know what your date is. It is both difficult and fulfilling to be a bootcamp mom. Just be proud and when you need support, just sign on. We all stick together because it seems that no one else understands completely. People try to compare it to sending a child off to college, but its different, because of the lack of the communication and the knowing that our sons and daughters will be under a lot of pressure, but will return to us more mature and stronger than when they left us. This is what we have to focus on. I hope this helps a bit. It is natural to miss him, but we will be there for you.

[neatybeaver]

Jane thank you so much for replying to me. You are right it has been such an emotional rollercoaster for me. I find myself crying at just the mention of his name at times. To which my three daughters are like "Mom are you ok?" Everyone says I am lucky I have them to fill in the void but it isn't possible for them to do so. My son is special to me as he is my first born and my only son. I was the one who suggested the military to him a year ago. He was struggling with finding what he wanted to do with his life and it really shocked him when I suggested it. He said he was thinking along those lines but didn't think I would support him if he decided to join. But we talked it over and that was on a Sunday, he called the recruiter on Tuesday went to MEPS on Wednesday and was enlisted on Friday. Everyone thought I had lost my mind when I encouraged him to do this. To which I replied, " I know he will be ok and I am at peace with it." Then came the day to see him off to Chicago which I thought I was ready for but it turned out to be the hardest thing I have had to do in along time. Saying goodbye even for a short time seems like saying good bye for a lifetime. But needless to say I am so proud of him. I don't think there was a prouder mom there that day to see her son off. But then I wasn't the lucky one to get the call that he had arrived from him personally that went to his dad who called and let me know. But just knowing he got there safely was a relief. I am looking forward to his first phonecall just as I know you are looking forward to hearing from your son. This website was suggested by friend of my son's mom. Her son is in the Navy and already deployed out. I have had alot of people say to me jeez he is only in Chicago it's not like he's far far away. To which I replied it may only be Chicago but it seems like it's far far away. The lack of communication is the hard part takes alot of getting use to. I look forward to learning when the PIR information. I feel like life is in limbo at the moment. But I pray for my son and all the others who are serving our great nation and I pray for all the moms and dads too. It's good to know that it is natural to miss him as much as I do. I have been called over protective cause I do miss him so much. It is a godsend to know I am not alone in this and that I can reach out to others when I need someone who understands what I am feeling. This message has helped me more than you will ever know. Just know I am praying for you and your son too.