SON LEAVING MONDAY FOR BOOTCAMP

[Navmom]

 

My son leaves for bootcamp on Monday.  He was originally scheduled for December 20th.  Before Christmas, but close enough that we could have had an early Christmas and it would have felt like it.  We were only told a couple weeks ago that they would be moving up the date and then only yesterday that it would be Monday.  I keep crying like a little baby.  It seems so silly because it isn't like he'll be gone forever.  My husband and younger son think I'm silly for crying, but I can't seem to help myself.  Are there any other mothers out there struggling with this? 

They say it's empty nest, but I still have my younger son around.  I guess I just worry how my older son will handle bootcamp.   He made this choice all on his own and we support him completely and are extremely proud of him.  He keeps counting down the days and telling me to see my reaction I think.  I have tried not to cry around him even though he knows I will come Monday. 

I would appreciate hearing from any mothers who have been there or are there now.

 

[BunkerQB]

Tammy, the first thing to do is to go back to page 27 to your comment which mentioned your son by name. You'll see a little "x" on the upper right of that comment. CLICK ON THIS. It will delete this message. Feel free to repose without disclosing your son's real name.  You do not want your comments (whatever they may be) to be connected with your recruit at boot camp. As moms, we tend to get emotional and it's reflected in the words we express. At bootcamp, this is not necessarily good for our recruits if a connection was made. The sailor recruits are there to be trained to be part of a huge military organization. To some degree, they have to separate a bit from loved ones - in particular mommas.

Your departure date is not until April. Enjoy you time with your depper. One suggestion I have is to concentrate on getting your son ready - physically, emotionally, spiritually. He should join Craig's NavyDep.com group if he hasn't - the link is in my previous post. When you know that he is ready for this adventure, ready to explore the world, ready to become a man, you'll be more ready to let him go.  Yes, they will always be our babies - just DON'T remind him - EVER.

[TammyKyle1]

Deleted his name, sorry about that.

[BunkerQB]

Hello, new moms.  We are lucky enough to have a number of dedicated moms in a number of groups (like the Bootcamp Moms and the PIR groups) who devote countless hours to making your journey as easy as possible. There is so much to learn. It's easy to feel overwhelmed.  Follow the suggestions outlined below.  I think this will help you develop a sense of where to go for information, what to do and a "picture" of what your recruit will be going through.  Best of luck to you and your sailor recruit.  BunkerQB.

P.S. Save this link. The information can be retrieve any time you need. 

               SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR NAVY FOR MOMS NEWBIE

STEP 1 - This is the official website from the Navy contains information for recruits & families. Here you'll find the phone number/email for the Public Affairs Office, FAQs, mission statement for the Recruit Training Command, the history of the program. Here is where you will find the graduation dates for various Training Groups and the link to get your password for parking at graduation (call PIR Pass In Review).

Recruit Training Command - Main Page (clickable link)

 

STEP 2 - Study this fantastic power point presentation made by Craig, a N4M member. He was in the Navy himself and has a son in the Navy.  He has a website JUST for the recruits. If your son/daughter is struggling with getting answer, this site may be for him/her.

       NAVY DEP.com (clickable link)

In the PDF files below, you'll see maps of the Recruit Training Center at Great Lakes, the ILL area, photos, diagrams, a list of the addresses of the "ships", - a great overview of the beginning processing days.  It will take you from the beginning when your recruits arrives at Great Lake to the end of processing days - you will feel like YOU have been processed too. This link opens up a PDF file. You can print a hard copy. If you are downloading this for the first time - it may take a minute or two (depending on the speed of your computer - possibly longer - be patient). You can also save this file to your own hard drive for future reference. But don't worry it'll always be here.

      

Boot_Camp_Processing_Days_P_days.pdf

Aerial_View_of_Camp_John_Paul_Jones.pdf

Battle_Stations_Part1_of_2.pdf

Battle_Stations_Part2_of_2.pdf

Keep in mind that the "ships" at Boot Camp refer to barracks.  For example Ship 12 is USS Triton which may house more than one division. The real USS Triton has been decommissioned. 
Here is a diagram of the location of the various barracks. 

STEP 3 -  Watch the five videos. It will give you a really good idea what your recruit will be going trhough.  PIR stands for Pass In Review (Graduation From Boot  Camp).

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING:

New Video "Welcome To Boot Camp - Processing Day" (Navy Live)  (click here)

New Video "Return To Boot Camp - Reveille"  (click here)

New Video "Return To Boot Camp - PT Physical Training"  (click here)

New Video "Return To Boot Camp - Preview of Battle Stations, PIR" (click here)

New Video "Return To Boot Camp - Battle Stations, PIR/Graduation &a...  (click here)

 

STEP 4 - Get to know the Navy For Moms site.  Just underneath the big blue Navy For Moms masthead, you will find a menu bar with a bunch of tabs. The tabs you will quickly become acquainted with will be "MY PAGE", "EVENTS", "FORUMS", "GROUPS", "BLOGS" and "CHAT"

1. My Page - this will take you to YOUR PERSONAL page. Here you will find a summary of all comments you have posted, comments others have posted on YOUR page, summary of your activities in Forum Discussions, Blogs. On your personal page, you'll find a list of discussions you created or participated in as well as blogs that you have created. You can personalized the appearance of your page or add a PLAYLIST.COM box to play music. Check this on a daily basis - you may find a friendly welcome from one of us.
2. Events - you can used this function to set up a meet and greet for any purpose. Just click on this tab and click +ADD.  Typically, the is a PRE-PIR (meet and greet on Thursdays at the Ramada Inn. The Ramada Inn hosts the meet and greet - they don't set it up - it's up family members within associated with each graduating class to set up this event. Many local groups use this to set up their meet and greets. You can make this a public or private event. People can RSVP. The creator of the event can send out a message to attendees without friending the member first - this is very convenient for the organizers. 
3. Forums - under Forums, you will find a number of Discussion categories (16). This is the place to go for discussions posted about a wide myriad of topics. Under "How To Do Stuff On N4M" contains master index of groups formed on this site. For example, there is a list of groups associated with PIR date, ships, job rating and special interest. When you click on Forums, you'll see "My Discussions" just underneath the menu bar - this is a summary of all the comments you have posted.
4. Groups - here you will find all the groups that have been formed since the beginning. You can view the display by "Most members" (default), "Most active", "Latest" and "Latest activity".  In small print, just above the Featured Groups, you'll see "My Groups" - click on this to access a summary of groups that YOU belong to. If you start a group, you can choose to make it private or public. You can NOT change it from one to the other after it has been created.
5. BLOGS - blogs are like diaries - you can post anything (within the N4M general guidelines). This is not a great place to post request for information. Blogs are not organized. They come and go in sequential order by date.
6. CHAT - "To chat or not to chat?" If you are familiar with chat, it's a great place to meet and catch up. Everything is in real time. The program only keeps so many lines of the dialog. If you need a quick response, someone may be there to respond with a quick answer or link. Everything is at a fast pace and in simplified computer-chat language. Occasionally, a new mom will find chat difficult to adjust to because a number of conversations may be going and any responses to her questions are direct and in short hand form. A new mom looking for gentle support should try one of the groups first. But if you are looking for a quickie answer, there is usually someone around who will respond with link.

KEEP THESE TIPS IN MIND ON USING THIS SITE:

1. If you are getting too many email notifications, just click "STOP FOLLOWING" located just underneath the input comment box or go to Settings, then Email to set your parameters for email notification. If you are inundated with email notifications to your regular email addresses, you can control when you get an email notification. Just remember to check you personal page, you inbox if you turn off your notifications.
2. Look at your status box on the upper right - with INBOX, ALERTS, FRIENDS, SETTINGS. Just underneath that will be a line with invitations from others to attend events or join another group.  Go to "HOW TO DO STUFF ON N4M" category under FORUMS and look for the discussion relating to this various topics, such as composing a message to a friend, sending out a friend request, changing your username, password. 
3. Look at your status box on the upper right - with INBOX, ALERTS, FRIENDS, SETTINGS. Just underneath that will be a line with invitations from others to attend events or join another group.
4. With any group, there are discussions added by members. The list displayed may not be the entire list (group admins can set the number to display). Be sure to click "View All" under the Discussions (on the right just under the displayed list of discussions). 

STEP 5- Getting Involved, Joining Groups, Preparing for PIR and other stuff.

1. Find some groups to join. Start with the Navy MEPS & DEP Families group (if your recruit is waiting for Boot Camp), the Boot Camp Moms group, your geographical group and of course, your trusty New Members Stop Here group.
   Navy MEPS & DEP Families (clickable link)
   Boot Camp Moms (clickable link)
2.  If you have an address (either from your recruit or the recruiter), start writing (plain regular letter size envelopes - the two addresses may be different - don't panic - it'll get there - use the one your recruit gives you as soon as you get it).
3. When you get the letter with the PIR (Pass In Review or Graduation from Boot Camp) date, join the group for that and meet all the other moms/dads/wives/gfs with loved ones graduating on the same date (always on a Friday) - click here to see list of PIR groups.
   
   Groups Listed by PIR date. (clickable link)
   
   You'll get a letter with the PASSWORD to print the parking pass.  KEEP THIS LETTER.  If you are using Internet Explorer (doesn't work), download Mozilla Firefox (free - will work) and use it to print your parking pass for PIR. Parking passes are normally available about one to two weeks prior to the actual PIR date. Go here to get your pass.
   
    http://www.bootcamp.navy.mil/upcoming_grads.asp
   
4. Next join this group to prepare for PIR. Read through the many topics. Your questions should be answered (such as hotels to stay, how many guests, parking, what to wear, etc.)
   
   http://www.navyformoms.com/group/pirreferenceinformation  
     
5. If you know where your sailor is going for A school or his rating, check for groups listed by Job Rating. If you know what ship he is going to, check for groups listed by name of his ship (the active ships out on the Fleet not the bootcamp barracks named after ships). Looking for a local group or special interest group to join? 
   
   GROUPS: Listed By PIR Date (clickable link)
   GROUPS: Listed By Name of US Navy Ships/actual US Naval Vessels (clickable link)
   GROUPS: Listed By Navy Job/Ratings (clickable link)
    and companion Ratings, A School Locations & Links to Groups by Lemonelephant
   GROUPS: Geographical By State (clickable link)
   GROUPS: Listed By Special Interest  (clickable link)

This is an on going project, please feel free to make suggestions. We will revise this periodically.  Please note - if someone out there would like to revise/rewrite this, please feel free to give it a shot. BQB

[jenny]

My son is also leaving on Monday. I am having a hard time, I keep praying for God to give me strength to see him go. I think we all feel like we have done our job raising them and now they are off to a new journey. Time went by so fast that its hard to let go. The pain hits me in waves. I am fine and then all of sudden I start crying. Today he emptied out his closet. He only left a few things. It is so painful. I am glad that I am not the only one feeling this way. I think that us moms need to have a voice. We are letting go in silence, I feel that none understands our sorrow. So you are not alone. Thank you for sharing. We must think that they are going to become better men.

Jenny

[Alicia(12/053 - AO)♥]

Jenny, you will soon see you are far from alone with your emotions and feelings! This site has been an amazing support group for me. My son has been in boot camp since the end of November. I had the hardest time seeing him go! I cried my self to sleep for the last 2 months he was home and I dreaded the day he left. Having him gone is not necessarily easier, but you do kind of adjust and make it work. Having his PIR (graduation) to look forward to is a great distraction! And each week is a milestone for the both of you! It starts with his arrival and then the form letter and then his first letter home. It's a big emotional roller coaster but the sense of pride will outweigh the sadness :) look to this site for all of your questions or just to vent! Everyone is amazing and wonderful and acepting and very sympathetic to how you are feeling :) best of luck to you and your son!

[Becky]

I never thought I would be so sad about his room being clean.  He checks into the hotel on Monday afternoon so its getting really close.  His brother is coming in from college tomorrow to spend some time with him so that will be a big happy/sad thing.  Just think, we thought when they got older that being a mom would get easier.  Boy, was I wrong.  I can't believe that over the next several years I will hardly ever see him.  I guess I'm going to become a big letter writer.  I just keep trying to hold it together so that I'm not crying in front of him.  I know this is really challenging for him in a lot of ways too.  He's also sad because his best friend wanted to join but has a heart condition and couldn't so he feels like he is abonding his friend.  Its hard when all the other friends in their age group are off at college and these are the last ones their age left.  He has had a little trouble sleeping the last week but that is probably normal.  Right?

[cbdrifters]

I know how you feel.  I cried for 2 days.  Cried so much my eyes almost swelled shut.  I have the one child so when he left for boot camp it was overwhelming for me.  But I lived for his letters and any phone call we got.  He has been in for six years and he has been deployed twice.  He is now doing his shore duty which is great.  Hang in there, and hopefully you will be able to attend his bootcamp graduation.

[tysmom]

My youngest son leaves in five days. I'm keeping a brave face in front of him but inside I'm a mess. Don't feel silly for cyring, it's a normal emotion. Although fathers and brothers have their own special relationships, we mothers have a bond that fathers and brothers don't really understand. We are "sort-of" empty nesters also. My older son is a senior at college and will be home after he graduates but only for a short time as he is planning to attend grad school in Colorado or Arizona. We haven't truly had the house to ourselves in 23 years! I keep joking with Ty that I don't know what upsets me more, him leaving or knowing that I will be stuck with his father all by myself. He just laughs and rolls his eyes at me. Anyway, I hope you are feeling a little better now that you are into this a few weeks. Just know that you are not the only one and that my time to say goodbye (eyes tearing up right now just typing this) will be here all too soon. I plan to take the day off from work, attend the swearing in ceremony, and then go home and cry the entire afternoon. I have a math class  that night so hopefully I will be able to concentrate that evening. I'm not a big math fan but for once it will be a nice distraction.

Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend!

[TammyKyle1]

Im trying to stay stong for my son too, trying not to cry in front of him. But it is hard. Hes  leaving in april. Im going to be a mess. I cry everytime I read other posting. He has never been away from me. everyone keeps saying Ive got to let him go, hes a adult now. I dont want to it hurts too bad.

[indymom]

My son is leaving for bootcamp on the 6th,and i too,are having the same feelings as you are and im also in the same situation with a younger son at home,,,im at a loss ,like you,,i think its normal to be feeling this way because we are their mother,,

[Awoodlyn (Ship 12 Div 099)]

My son left on Monday, 1/30/12 and I'm still crying, so don't feel bad, its a very emotional experience, we raise our children to go out into the world and experience the journey of left but we are never willing to let go!!! 

[TammyKyle1]

Just checking on you to see how you are doing, When my son leaves i dont know how im going to react. he leaves april 4.