when your sailor is burnt out....

[socalnavymom]

My son is in prototype with about three months to go. He is so very frustrated and stressed out. He wants out of the program completely, but wants to stay in the Navy. Has anyone whose sailor completed the program offer any advise or words of wisdom? He is an ET. He does pray about it everyday, and of course, I am praying for him, too.

[bethr311]

A lot of wisdom has been posted here and I just want to add my son's two cents. He graduated BS prototype October 17, after a long hard haul. He said he was there too, but that far into the program, you either bulldoze through or get separated. The Navy is not going to want to rerate someone after having spent a fortune training them. It is hard, but he's almost done.

I have the utmost respect for everyone who ever qualified for, attempted or completed this program.

[B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)]

Socalnavymom - we are neighbors! I am in Riverside. If you'd ever like to get together PM me.

[Joniana (Helen)]

socalnavymom, I will keep your sailor in my thoughts.  I haven't been in your position (yet) as my son is only in power school, but there are many posts on here about nukes who successfully moved on to other careers in the Navy.  It may be worth going back about a year and scanning the posts.  Take care of yourself, too, so you can be his listening post.  Sending hugs to you all. 

[Cynthiajb]

Thank you for starting this discussion and all the wonderful comments. We are in agreement in our prayers for our sailors, in His name. My son is in his "rat-hole job" waiting for his turn for prototype. He will be delayed at least 3 months in this job due to problems in the program. I will send your comments to his bride so she will be prepared to be his rock through this next phase. At first, I was worried they married so young and during his training.  He said he prayed about it and felt it was the right thing to do. My son needed and wanted to honor her as his wife, partner, and best friend. Now I see she has been such a help for him during the stress and frustrations associated with Nuke school. I know she will continue to be an asset, especially if she is fully prepared for what is about to happen. I'm going to suggest she join this website because it is not just for moms!  

[B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)]

Cynthia - so nice to hear that your DIL is so supportive.  That is very important for your son.  She should definitely join......this site will be a good outlet for her and she will learn so much more about what he is going through! 

Yep, the delays in proto seem never-ending.....A school & Power school were so specific with start & finish dates,  now it's really the whole "hurry up & wait!" game. LOL

[William in Nashua]

  When my son was in boot camp I wrote him a letter that I thought God's plan was for him to complete all the  nuclear training and get all the work done, and furthermore  that God and I agreed completely on this matter.  I also said seeing as how his life and the lives of everyone on the submarine depends on his learning the material completely and not just graduate,  it was up to him to get it done.   That was the beginning and end of the divine intervention topic for us.

[nukesma]

What about the ones who are not making it? My son has only been in GC for a little over a month and is having such a hard time it's evident he won't make it through the pipeline. Discouraged is an understatement. He has spent so many hrs on schoolwork he's not able to keep up with everything else. He will more than likely loose privileges tom. I don't know what his future holds or what to expect. What happens when they dont make it?

[maureenwithfive]

It's weird but discouragement is a part of Nuc school.  I think its safe to say all of our kids go through it at one time or another (or more or less).

But nonetheless, it is a part of the training.

Our son is graduating from Power School this coming week, which means three finals and the "comp" test this coming Tuesday.

That in of itself would be enough stress for any student.

Add to that he was selected as a "Grad and Go" meaning as soon as he graduates next Friday, he's gone to his next school.  And even though its still in Goose Creek, he looses his barracks and has to find a place of his own - you know, house/apartment hunting, furnishing his home, making arrangements with two others that are his roommates, signing leases, funding everything…

PLUS studying for the three finals and his comp all within a period of about 2 1/2 weeks!

Talk about pressure and stress!  Without a plan that provides balance he would never make it.

I guess that's what the Navy is looking for in a Nuc.  Well-balanced individuals who can battle the stress and pressure by having a plan and working the plan.

[Cynthiajb]

There are many paths to success in the Navy; the Nuke program is only one of them.

My son had a very hard time starting out as a Nuke. His friends said they didn't have to ask any questions in class because they knew he would ask about everything. He did not take physics in high school so it had been since 8th grade that he had the basics of the material. He lost his weekend privileges because he didn't have time to buy an iron to have his uniform pressed for inspection. After the rough start, it started to get better. He found tutors and lived at the school. They told him to stop wearing his pajamas to Saturday study hall, really! The watch word was "two five to stay alive". He never worked on cars or machinery so once he got past the machinery portion and into the more bookish portion, things improved.

Some of it is the luck of the draw in which test his class will get. There are several versions of the tests and the teachers do not know exactly what the students are tested on to prevent cheating. One time he spent hours studying one area and only 30 minutes reviewing the rest. His class got the test that was just on stuff he glanced over and only a small part covered what he spent hours on. It was frustrating, but he was able to stay above a 3.0 most of the time through A and Power school. I think many others had it just as hard, if not harder. He got discouraged and had a plan B, but he asked for help and his shipmates and teachers helped him through the worst of it. Now it's on to Prototype after Thanksgiving.

It is my understanding they do not spend $300,000 educating a sailor they know will not graduate. If your son is really not right for Nuke, they will move him to a better placement for him. Some of my son's shipmates left the program and they are doing just fine where they were placed. Supposedly they can even ask to go to college in the ROTC program to be an officer. Your son is obviously smart or he wouldn't be there in the first place. He may find his stride as a Nuke or follow a different path to success in the Navy. Either way, my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

[William in Nashua]

When the Navy cuts a nuclear propulsion  trainee even during the last week of prototype, sure it costs the Navy a lot of money they already spent on his  training, but that is still a lot cheaper than having to replace a crewman on a submarine who turns out to be less than useful. They will do that too though, if they have to, and it does happen.   Now you are looking at $3 billion of the taxpayers' money spent on a shiny new warship and on any watch there is exactly one enlisted crewman in the world who is operating the controls of the reactor at that moment. Likewise for the electrical and mechanical controls.  You really need the right man for the job at that moment.  If they needed to cut 7 other trainees along the way and spend for 2 years  to develop one man who can do that job properly well so be it,  and it is money well spent in my opinion.  It is a tough program for sure.

[Cynthiajb]

Agreed, whole heartedly. My son will be on that sub. I want him to be safe in the hands of one who is well qualified to keep him alive. It boggles the mind to think about the amount of money involved. Instead, I think about how my health insurance went up 27% after the first year of our new program. $473 was an increase over what I paid before the new program started but it goes to $604 in January for the same policy for only me, a single empty-nester.  I never went to the doctor last year and I don't take any prescriptions. Again, I will focus on what I can control ( go vote!) and be grateful for my good health. At least when I pay my taxes on April 15th, I can say my tax money is going to pay for my son's healthcare and education. That is money well spent, too. I'm happy for my son to have made it this far in such a challenging Navy job. I want each sailor to find their path and do very well for him or herself and for their shipmates. No matter how they serve, I thank them for their service.  

[bethr311]

Nukesma, your sailor is in some ways lucky to find out this soon that nuke might not be a good fit. He has to have had very good ASVAB scores to get where he is. I know those who know more about the processes will be along soon with more concrete info. Tell your sailor you love him and he is NOT a failure.