heartbroken, confused, angry, frustrated, hopeful... In need of answers, information,,,

[Lolly]

Can I just tell you, I have been asking, any and everybody I can think of, searching all over the internet desperately trying to find answers! I am very grateful to finally find people who can at least relate!  My heart is broken,,, for my son, for his dreams, for the all that he was trying to do to give his life, his future, meaning and purpose. He was there only a week when he called to tell me he was being medically discharged for ADHD anxiety and they would be sending him home in a couple of weeks. My entire world completely stopped, and my heart was completely broken. I am not a crier, I am not easily swayed into emotional roller coasters, but what has happened to my son makes me want to scream, cry, and fight all at the same time. First of all I have NEVER witnessed anxiety of any kind in my son. My own son! I raised him for 19 years; how do you not see something like that! I had to assume this was only temporary, its not normal for him. In the two minutes he had to talk to me, All I could get out of him was that he hadn't eaten since he arrived (7 days), something about a rash or something. They sent him to the medics where "someone" checked him out and told him he had ADHD Anxiety. Apparently they asked him if he had ever taken anything for it, and he told them he had in his sophomore year of high school. As my son seems to understand it, They will not allow him to re evaluate, because he had not disclosed that medication at MEPS. We brought that short period of time when he "tried" that medication, up with recruiter though my memory of it was vague at the time. It was pretty much down played. The guy said if it wasn't that big of a deal then don't put it down. Understand, I do not blame the recruiter, I think he honestly meant well, but didn't fully understand and ultimately gave erroneous advice. My son somehow got the impression that the navy wouldn't take him if they think he is ADHD or ADD. That I have since learned is NOT true. What's more, I went back and checked medical records: he only took the medication on a trial basis for about six months in his freshman year and was never consistent with it. I'm sure that's why the recruiter told him "don't worry about it then". However, When he experienced this "anxiety attack" once he got to Boot Camp, then went to the medic, apparently someone asked questions, my son answered. Since he's not much of a communicator, I can only guess they asked typical questions he responded to in one or two word answers, and they filled in the blanks with their own assumptions. his understanding is that because it was information not disclosed, he is being sent home without an option of re- evaluation, or re-enlistment. That may well be so, and I am not condoning or making excuses for his error in judgment OR MINE! I should not have let what seemed like a small thing slip by like that. I have since visited the recruiter, explained what happened and made the suggestion that they be a bit more clear about how a history of ADHD affects their consideration for enlistment and be more encouraging to potential recruits to "just put it down"! Though my son is 19 and must take complete and full responsibility for his error in judgment, It's very difficult to not feel just as much to blame. I have had numerous people including his recruiter that I should not be worried, they don't care that much about that, they may just be holding him until they can run him back through again, etc., etc., etc.. I am beyond confused, frustrated, sad and mad at myself. He has been sitting at ship 5 doing basically nothing (for 2 weeks), but waiting with other young men who are waiting, and waiting, and waiting to be sent home. When you consider what these young men went there to do, what they were looking for and hoping for, why they chose the Navy in the first place, and where they're sitting now basically stewing in rejection, well, I don't see this as a good scenario for any of them. It can't be helping their mindset. I'm not going to make the claim that my son is perfect, but he was not a bad kid either. He was basically a pretty good kid that was going no where fast. He had no interest in going to college like his older brother and sister, no surprise. But he did finish school. I've kept my kids in church and involved in youth group from the time they were old enough to enter it. We've been on mission trips youth camps, the whole nine yards. But he got to this point where it's "Do something Son, make a choice, get a job, but do something". I sent him out looking for a job on several occasions and each time he came back with Navy stuff. It's like he found something he wanted to be, something HE was willing to choose for himself. I was scared at first, but the more I looked into it, I began to see why he chose it. It was like everything he wasn't, but wanted to be. Honor, courage, integrity,,,  I don't know where this anxiety thing came from, I don't know how I was able to let the medication thing slip by me. All I know is, my son got to the threshold of everything he wanted to be and WHAM! I will say this and close. My son did not choose the Navy because of what he was, or is, but because of what he wanted to be. Ironically, he is being rejected, for not disclosing some little thing that he thought was going to get him rejected. He was basically rejected as a very small child by his father when the guy decided to just drop off the face of the earth. I think he was perhaps looking for some of that in the Navy. I keep coming back to the hope that perhaps the Navy is not done with him after all, or maybe the Navy just wasn't meant to be for him. Maybe God is just trying to do something in him or through him. I don't know. I do know this. My son will always be welcomed at home, and I will always be proud of him. I know God has a plan for him, and we will get past this one way or another. I know I wrote far too much, Most of the people that look at this will likely not get past the first few lines before they decide it's too long. But if there is even one who can relate, or has any light to shed on what I should be expecting, I would be grateful. If anybody wants to throw a prayer up for him, that too will also be appreciated. I believe our God to be a God of love, and a God of miracles. He knows better than I what is best for my son. Thank you for taking the time to listen.

[medassist13]

My son arrived at boot camp on the 10th and called me on the 17th to say he was being separated due to "depression". What the heck? He said he was a little homesick but was fine. I was wondering if you had gotten any answers on what to do to appeal? I have written to 2 of our Congressman to see if there is something they can help with. My son worked hard to get to the Navy and wanted to make a better future for himself.  I am so full of so many emotion's!