Does the Worry Get Better?

[Momof7]

My recruit arrived at RTC yesterday. I got "The Call" at 12;30 AM our time (so 2:30 in the morning there) and like I expected, it was very short and scripted. 11 seconds! He sounded great although the flights had been delayed and he had been traveling all day, it sounded like he was trying not to smile, which is so like him. Only he could sound chipper after the day he had! 

But once I got the call, I morphed from missing him to worrying about all the things that could go wrong. What if he doesn't pass his PRT? What if he gets hurt? It is really hard that there is NOTHING I can do to make this happen for him, I know he has to do it. 

If determination means anything, he's got it. Over the last 3 years, he lost 75 pounds, ending up well below the max weight for his height. He's been running and timing himself 3 times a week for months and could meet the requirements for the end of boot camp before he left. I know all this and still, I worry. 

I am trying to distract myself but as soon as I got over the goodbye hump, all the worries started to roll in. I keep trying to remind myself that he's a natural leader, he's so excited, and he sounded excited and happy even though there was chaos in the background. 

Gosh, this is hard. Any words of wisdom? 

[Kbpoohbear]

My son also took years and lost 60 pounds to go into the navy. I was a mess until I hugged him again. Now he is in A school. I still don't hear from him but for some reason, I am better with it. There is something about not being able to call them out text them when we want that gets us. This is the first step of letting go. I hope it gets easier. 

[Phoenixmom]

Hi Momof7 welcome along you have come to the right place. Keep that determination going. It doesnt get easier Ma'am we get stronger. These few weeks may be full of overwhelming emotions, and it is all Normal. I know for me it was very hard, I was a mess for weeks. I like you knew my Son had this but just him not being around and no word of communication drove me nuts. when I finally came across this site I finally met others that knew exactly what I was going thru I didnt consider myself crazy anymore. I finally was understood if that makes sense. I was told to keep busy, keeping busy would reroute you to thinking other things than to keep reflecting on Your Son. I know I thought the same, that is easier said than done. What I did was look up everything you possibly can about what your Son will be doing and Busy he will be. Start Learning his Rate/Job by the end of this Journey you will know more than he will, he has no clue as to what he will be doing Now in BC, I know my son had no clue to things when I was finally able to speak to him. Strength is what you will need for yourself and for him. Just know that you are never alone, we all will be here for you in every way possible. Please reach out for any reason, any concerns, Questions just even to vent! and remember there is never a silly, Dumb question so ask away. There are a lot of knowledgable Ladies who will have answers for you so never be in doubt. Welcome again Ma'am! 

[RaksAndRoll]

Try not to worry about things you have no control over.  Focus on the pride and love you have for him.  He lost 75 lbs?  That's a HUGE amount of dedication and grit right there!  If he has the drive to do that, then he can do this.

Wishing him, and you, the very best! 

[SunflowerLynn]

Momof7, I'll just say "ditto" to what the other ladies said, and add the advice my husband (retired USN Chief) gave me, which I have clung to during the past 6.5 weeks of my son being in boot camp:  No News Is Good News!  I've received a few letters, and had two phone calls (in addition to the 15 second "I made it to GL" call the first night), and yes, it's been really stressful.  But NOT hearing from them is actually a sign that things are going okay for the most part.  But I will definitely be a happier mom when he finished boot camp and I can give him his cell phone back so I can at least text him (while he's in BESS and A school) and hear from him a bit more regularly.  You hang in there!  Your son sounds like a very determined young man, and I'm sure he's going to do spectacularly well!  God bless!

[Tabitha]

HI momof7, I also had that happen to me right after the first scripted call. I didn't know anything about anything. I had no idea that I would even get that phone call after arrival. So in my mind, I thought, so unusual! It sounded like he was reading, and it was very short. Didn't even get an, I love you ma. I thought, Has my kid been abducted...LOL! I can laugh about it now, but then I was in tears and fear. Thank goodness I found this sight and all the wonderful ladies and info. It helped relieve a lot of fears. Some days were better then others. One thing that really helped me, when I started feeling sad or missing our sailor, I wrote him letters. Seemed to help at the time.  It does get better, and the fears will start to subside once you are able to write back and forth. Praying for you and your SR during this time. And always remember, No news is good news. And he is exactly where he wants to be. Best wishes to you. ♡ 

[Trish]

Take a deep breath, write letters, start planning for PIR. Make a door poster, ribbons, and just stay busy. Reading helped me a lot.

[Momof7]

Thanks for the tips, everyone. I really could not have imagined the emotional roller coaster in this process, but I'm glad to hear I'm not alone!