Sheryl, first of all congratulations to your son. It really is sad when they leave,,, I wasn't bad until the day he actually left.... broke down after he left for MEPS and then to the hotel, and then airport. Be proud of yourself mom, you raised a son that is on his own to independence. Come to this site often for support and hugs. Tammy
Sheryl, it's all right to cry. I was a total mess and I didn't know about this site until later. My son was suppose to leave in May and his recruiter called and moved it up to January. I wasn't ready to let go of him. I would cry Everytime I saw him. I am extra sensitive and if I wasn't crying he would of really been worried. He knows I am not tough and your son knows you. He might think (is she that happy to get rid of me) if you don't show any emotion. I know everyone says be strong for them, don't make them feel bad. I carried on like he was being sentenced to life in prison. My son did awesome in Boot Camp inspite of me and he is making us proud in A school. Your sad, he is going to miss you, why pretend? Reassure him you will be fine, it's just going to take awhile. Tell him how proud of him you are, you can be sad and still encourage. I will say a prayer for you both and later I will share a quote I have hanging by his picture. God Bless your aching heart.
Welcome Sheryl, This is a great place to be. You will find lot's of information about bc and beyond. It is ok to feel sad and cry. Everything is going to change and it takes a while to get used to them not being at home anymore. Please join us on the main page to meet the other moms and be sure to read all of the information that we have on here. Enjoy the time that you have with your son now before he leaves.
Big Navy Hugs to you.
Sheryl-- Welcome!!! I found this site the night my son was at the Hotel to go to MEPS the next morning. (Actually My husband found it-- I was bawling like someone died!!) I didn't sleep much that first week and was a mess for the first 3! That was 7 years ago this month! It doesn't get easier but it does get better!! I PROMISE!! If you haven't joined the main Bootcamp page please do so! We will get you through this time. I have a blog that talks about the first week as well as suggestions for those who haven't left yet. I encourage you to read it.
You are in the right place. We will be here to support you through this and help you discover that you are stronger than you realize, after all you raised a young person who is willing to serve this country!! Not everyone is looking to serve!! We haven't lost a mom to Boot camp!! We won't start with you!
Sheryl- I felt the exact same way! My sailor and I have always been close. He enlisted when he was 22 and left for bootcamp in January 2018. It has been quite the emotional rollercoaster for me... but I try to stay strong and remember how proud of him I am for accomplishing his goal. He has recently completed his training and is now part of the fleet.... and I am one proud mama!!!
Bootcamp is hard... probably the hardest part on the parents. You are so used to being there for your kids and you are literally cut off and helpless. Just remember that it is only 8-9 weeks and that it is designed to be tough and to set proper expectations for their new way of life. Ultimately, it will be a blip on the radar. Just stay strong mama and keep the faith!
Hi Sheryl - be sure to join the September DEP group too - here's the link:
Spencers mom - I hope you have been reading the threads in the Main BC comment section as we have been posting information that may be helpful to you as well. Enjoy your time with your son.
How are you? How is everything going? Hope you guys are safe and healthy out there. Take care.
Hi there. My son enlisted in October 2019, in the deferral program. Because of when his high school graduation was and when his A School started, he had to leave in June. It seemed like it was so far away, until the week before....time just seemed to sneak up on us. Today marks one week since I have received his "I am here" call. I have been having a rough time emotionally with my son leaving. There’s been lots of things going on and happening…all good stuff, so I am trying to focus on that. Now with everything being locked down for us again, I don’t have an outlet so just trying to figure out ways of working through this. I know it is a good for him joining the Navy. I know it will serve him well and he will excel…."I can. I will." I not have any idea of the emotional stuff I’d be going through. I miss him. I feel like I am grieving him, rather the loss of my baby. I am worried but I am also so very proud of him. I am constantly wondering what’s going on or what he’s doing….its been hard not being able to talk to him, I have talked to him EVERY DAY for the last 17 years. There are many adjustments and changes. I wish I knew how emotional this process would be or at least have a warning on the depth of the emotional process, I feel like I could have prepared myself for it. On the other hand, you don't know how you will deal with it or process it until you are in it.
NavyNukeMom - your last statement - hits the nail on the head. You don't necessarily know how you are going to deal with something until you are walking through it yourself. I would have to do some flipping back and forth on my screen here, but I don't recall if your son is an only or your youngest? Either way it is hard. If he is your oldest and you have other children at home, sometimes it is easier to deal with, because you need to focus on them as well. The "great silence" is even longer currently than it was when my son was a SR. The one thing that helped me was writing emails to my son every night. His little picture icon was of his smiling face and everytime I wrote to him and saw his face, I knew he was going to do well and my part was to play his cheerleader, encourager. Once I had the form letter with his address then I printed everything off front and back and mailed it all at once. I think, if I had known about this site, that I would have sent multiple envelopes because recently I am hearing that not all letters seem to be getting through.
The other thing that helped as my husband found a timeline on a website that gave me an idea of what he was doing when, so I could write and ask about those things, and I felt like I had something tangible to pray for him. Up on the left of this page are some links to videos about BC that many have found helpful.
Sending a child off to BC is not like sending a child off to college - I have done both - but either way, we are having to loosen our apron strings and it is a change from our child being under our protection and mother hen wing and feeling like we have some sort of control, to lifting that wing and allowing our child to have the freedom to explore on their own and become their own person. My youngest at home is going to be a senior, and I am honestly not ready for it. I thought I would be, but I think letting him go will be harder on me than my son that is a sailor or his three older sisters. Grief manifests itself in many different ways. My sailor left for BC much like yours, right out of HS, we had oldest sister get married beforehand and his 2nd later in the summer. I also lost my mother and another family member that I cared for and had lost my father 2 yrs prior to my son leaving. Lots of emotions. My faith is what got me through and support of those near by me and my husband. Plus, I also spent many years away from my own family due to where we lived, so not talking personally to them was something I was use to and that helped.
Give yourself some time but I do encourage you to come chat in the main BC group and we now have the PIR groups set up for July and Aug that you can join and share more there. It is hard not being able to get out and about, but going for a walk, making sure you are eating healthy, finding something positive to do. Plant a flower garden, put out small flags for each week, make a blanket or scrapbook, something that will help you work through those memories and remind yourself that this is a new season in your life and it is okay to grieve but it is also a turning point for you and being strong for your SR at home has a connection to him to help him be strong at BC for you!!