First call and SR wants to quit

[Bbcon]

So sad and worried. SR said he wanted to quit. I said you're homesick push through. You can do it. We talked a little more I said he had to speak to his father too. He did get to call him too. We both told him to be strong dont quit. No calls again yet. Sent a sandbox mail mssg. Regular mail and went again yesterday and sent an overnight letter. I wish I could talk to him again. 

[NAVYMOMK]

It’s so hard not to worry but keep the faith.  I think most first letters and calls are fairly rough and they want to quit or not sure they will make it, but usually by the second call or letter they are much improved and settling in.  It’s still not fun but they realize they will get through it.  Prayers for you and your SR as you go through this rough time.   What is your PIR date??

[Bbcon]

Jan 18. Almost done. The first letter was positive so this call was not expected. He passed swim. He talked about doing well then boom ..the calll... I'm in the military mom...I'm in the military...he said that like 3 times. I think his reality is hitting. But that was Saturday and its Tuesday so I'm hoping things are well. No way to know. I did mssg recruiter and he said it was homesickness...duh..i was like well can we call him again.  Can u call him....ugh. i guess all i can do is wait for a letter or call.

[NAVYMOMK]

My SR said he hasn’t and probably won’t much because they use that time to catch up on their “stuff” or study but he said many, many times to send mail via SANDBOXX because they are getting that pretty quick   He said they really like the mail and hearing about the “outside world”.   Don’t know if you have tried app or not but it’s hreat —-for them and you!!!  Sending prayers 

[GranmaFaye]

The no contact is the absolute hardest part of this. Unfortunately you will just have to wait until they get the next phone call which is usually every other week. I learned that as long as you don't hear anything that means everything is fine. Praying for your peace.

One of my most favorite scriptures helped me through this...Philippians 4:6-7 ... Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

[shellyh]

Hang In there Bbcon!  Thinking of you...he will be alright!

[Phoenixmom]

I am so sorry to hear this Bbcon but know that he isn't the only one that feels like this, There are many. When my Son first went in, he thought he knew what to expect, but when he got there it wasn't at all what he imagined. A lot of times it isn't. You have to go in expecting the unexpected. My first call was he also wanted to mess up or do something to be sent home. I had to talk with him and ask him to remember what the purpose was that you took this stand. There will always be obstacles that will get in the way, but you have to overcome them. I told him to focus and be determined to do the best and once you see for yourself that you have done what you set your mind and heart to you will succeed. The first call is almost the worst one because they are shut away from the world, they have no clue to what is going on out here, so missing home and family is the biggest of them all. Keep strong Ma'am I am praying for you and your SR. the second call will be different you will see, he will have a change of heart and he will succeed. He has to give it a chance and stay focused.

Psalm 46:1God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

[partnerinwine]

Bbcon- keep sending those letters! I bet he really enjoys hearing the mundane things from the outside world. It takes their mind off of things even for a few minutes. I send football scores, weather updates, complain that no one finishes the leftovers ;) Keep him connected and tell him that each day he is one closer to graduation. Thinking of you!

[GranmaFaye]

Bboon,

That first phone call is made when they are still very, very homesick. They all questioned their decision to join. So it seems that he is right on target. My sailor expressed that same thing but she held on. Just hang on because the next call will be different. If you get a chance, let him know that bootcamp is only for a season and it will be done. My sailor has been in for 18 months now. Remember too that no news is good.  He will be fine. Soon you will e counting the Friday's down to graduation. He should be able to call back in about 2 weeks. Hold on, Mom and many hugs to you.

[SailorsLIMom]

Of course, you know your son and how he typically handles stress, so you're in the best position to judge whether this is a familiar reaction, or something out of the ordinary for him. "Be strong" is more of a goal than a guideline of how to get there, though.  It's a grueling training period for these sailors.  Our daughter, now in her last phase of Nuke training (18 months so far since BC ended), has had lots of ups and downs. She gained tremendously from talking to the (non-denominational) Chaplains at the bases. They are supportive, informed, and confidential.  Also, she found practical suggestions about sleep and eating well from Medical.  There are staff available to help these young people, and unlike most of us civilians, they know what the sailors are facing.  They know strategies for thriving there and can help with answers to deeper questions like "Is the Navy for me?"   Asking that isn't necessarily bad if an older, wiser person can help your son find his own answers--which are probably there underneath the slippery surface of panic!  All the best.

[Bbcon]

Thank you all for the kind words and ideas to keep busy for him. He only has a few weeks left. I'm not sure how the other phone call will be. Hes I a shorter 6 wk class. I will be strong and stop worrying which is hard.

[proudmom Ship 02 Div 925]

It is so hard, I remember going through all the worry and sadness missing my son so badly it hurt. It gets better, wayyyy better, I promise. Before you know it he or she are going to be through Basic and stationed at their first base where they will learn, grow and mature so much. The Navy is a wonderful opportunity that soon your recruits will be happy they are a part of. My son was in for 4 1/2 years with a 4 year commitment which he extended for an additional 6 months to be able to go to Bahrain as a Riverine for a year. He got out 16 months ago and is so glad he was in and misses it many days! It is so good to have him home but I am so proud of him and am so happy for him that he had the opportunity to serve as a Sailor in the United States Navy!! God's blessings to all of you and your sailors!! :)

[Dianne]

Hello Bbcon 

I know exactly how you feel - left on 11/13/18 and i get the first letter on how it "hit him." But he processed and assigned a ship. The next letter - full of regret - my heart sank.  What? He trained, he studied, he made a choice.  He regressed and said he wasn't ready.  I immediately sent a Sandboxx letter inspiring to keep going and that after the 4th week - he will see the difference.  He sounded so defeated - over nothing! He said he made a mistake, wanted to come home and was not ready for the sacrifice.  On the 3rd week - I get a call from him. He's crying. I run out of he gym and start talking. Actually I didn't let him speak.  I told him he will NOT give up. He will stop crying and listen.  He apologized and said he couldn't do it.  I told him he could and that this too shall pass, I told him he was a child of GOD and that it will get better.  i told him to stop saying he is depressed and get up and push through.  I was so wired up I don't even remember what else I said.  I didn't sleep or eat for days.  

After that call, my heart sank. I blamed myself.  How can he quit when he is passing and working through it? Then I remembered he is in a great place. He is healthy, he is in the greatest military training facility in the world.  I have been praying  because you know what? I can't blame myself!  I raised him the best that I could and I needed to trust the process as he should.

This Saturday 12/15/18  Im at Walmart and I see a call coming in from Illinois.  I asked - is this my wonderful son? He starts singing (old Navy songs).  He clicked and is pushing through.  Thank you Jesus.  I kept telling him how proud I am of him and to get it done!  Rock and Roll - pumping him up. Inside? I'm crying with joy and fear.  

He's still worried about "hell week" and whether he will be pushed back. I told him, even if he was, its a great thing. It's like extra tutoring for the Navy - how cool is that. 

He wants Memes, and letters - so they are on the way.  Prayer helps me.  Please know I know exactly how you feel - I promise you.