Have questions about my daughter at Boot Camp

[Nikmama]

Hello all. I'm new to this page so I'm not really sure how it works but I sure could use some advice/help! Kind of a long story but I will try to explain it. My daughter just left today for Navy Boot camp. She is currently not speaking to her dad & I and we have no idea why. We have not spoken to her since April 21. She has a lot of anger towards us & again we have no idea why. I was there, & we have both been supportive, when she signed up for Navy. Just one day she said she was moving out & didn't want to have anything to do with us! We have tried very hard to talk to her & tried to be involved in her leaving for the Navy. She has a ton of friends that have been supporting her & a few families that have stepped in as her family. She invited all of them to her send off today, but not my husband,me or my son. We showed up anyway. She pulled me aside & asked me to leave, but I didn't & very nicely told her I wanted to be there to support her. She has always been a very responsible and we thought mature person so my question to all of you is....everyone keeps saying she will miss us during boot camp & mature & reach out. Does boot camp teach her how important family is? She has these other families stepping in as her family so I'm not sure she WILL get lonely and/or miss us. We're devastated because we don't think she will be sending her address to us or inviting us to graduation. Will boot camp really turn her around?

[NavyMom93]

Hi Kelly, Wow, that is really terrible how your daughter is behaving.  I feel so bad for you!  I had a sister who did the same thing 18 years ago and she has not talked to any of us since, so I kind of know a little bit of what you're going through.  As far as boot camp making them miss their family, well ,my son certainly missed us, but then he was like that before he left.  His emotional reaction to it and his homesickness were pretty predictable!  He never let me forget how much he appreciated every letter he got (and he got a lot, especially from me and his sister!) and he was always so happy when they got to make phone calls!  If she doesn't send you her address you can probably get it from her recruiter.  Hopefully she will come around.  I seem to recall a mom with a similar problem to yours around the time my son went to boot camp.  She wrote her daughter all through boot camp, and her daughter did end up writing back and calling her.  You sound so loving and supportive!  Hopefully she will realize just how important you all are to her.  I wish you all the best!

[Trae's Mother]

Kelly,
Good evening, regardless of her current behavior, your daughter will need your support during boot camp! I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. Given the fact that your daughter just left, she has yet to experience all that she will during the upcoming weeks. My son told me in several of his letters that my letters to him was the motivating factor that pushed him to do well at boot camp. We have a very close relationship but regardless of that fact, that is still your child and she will need you and your support throughout this time. As far as her address, I actually had to contact the local recruiter because my son had been at the RTC for almost five weeks and I had not heard from him. Long short of it, the local recruiter was able to provide his address. I have heard that not all local offices have recruits' addresses. In my case, the recruiter was able to help. One question, how is your relationship with the "new family"? Would it be possible to reach out to them to see if they would be willing to give you your daughter's address? It may be a week or two before your daughter is able to write to them or anyone. I would reach out to others that she may write. Just a suggestion. In the meanwhile, I'll definitely be in prayer that God will intervene in the situation and touch her heart. Have faith that everything will work out!

[lovey1020]

Kelly
My heart is breaking for you and I can't imagine what you are going through, do you have contact with these families where you could find out her address or in a couple of weeks you can always call her recruiter. I do pray that she will come around, as my daughter said in her first letter that she is realising how important family is.. We are here for you

[ProudmomofD3]

My daughter sort of "distanced" herself from me about a month before leaving for BC.  Write her letters and know that she needs her Mom.  The night she arrived at BC, I read her previous mothers day cards and birthday cards she had sent me for the past few years.  Hang in there. All the best to you and your family. 

[TravelerMom]

Hi Kelly,

I don't have any suggestions or helpful ideas that others haven't already posted.

But I have been and will continue to pray for you and your daughter.

Please keep us posted if things change and you hear from her.