I too said "Farewell" to my son Sunday as he left my arms to begin a new chapter of his life. He arrived in BC last night. I received my "last" phone call around 10pm. I cried myself to sleep!! I have NEVER felt this much heart ache!! I am proud of him, his dreams and his future goals. I know he will do great things!! But....he is my best friend!! Letting go was the hardest thing I have ever done!! I can't stop crying!! Every time I look at something, think about something, see a photo, object...I know it seems so silly.. he is alive and well!! But I feel lost!!
Good Morning again cindy lou1, I left you a welcome message on your profile page. When you are ready come and post on the comment wall of Boot camp moms. You will find a lot of support there as well and a great group of moms on there also. ;)
In the mean time I will post some links here:
The informed delivery is where you can sign up and see what mail is being delivered every day. the first weeks of silence are the hardest. Start writing now and keeping busy is key. when you get your form letter you can mail those letters off right away!! Boot camp is for us as much as it is for our loved ones!!! It does get better as days go on and it is ok to cry when you want.
No question is ever dumb and someone will answer you!!
Good Morning Cindylou1 - The emotions you are feeling are not strange or new to any of us BC Moms. We have all been where you are and yes, it can seem like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. As Partyofseven say, please scroll down the main BC Mom group page to the comment wall area when you are ready and post there anything you wish to share about your journey or questions you have. More of the members are likely to see your post there than in this discussion area.
Hugs, we are here for you!!
Hang in there cindylou1......we'll get you through this. Be sure to count Friday's rather than actual days (it will help the time pass quicker) and keep your phone close by. Answer all calls you get because you just never know when it might be your son. Start writing letters now - number them in the corner so he knows the order to open them and as soon as you get the address (about 4-5 weeks) you can mail them off. Be strong and positive and supportive in the letters - you've got this!
Hang in there!
Oh cindylou, I remember those exact feelings all too well! It too all my strength to let go of that last hug at the hotel when we dropped him off. Tears would start pouring randomly all day every day for weeks. It truly is a sort of grieving process for us moms. Grieving the little boy that we nurtured and watched grow into a strong and capable man in what seems like a blink of an eye. We get it! Many people in my daily life, family included, didn't get it but the moms here did and it helped so much knowing I wasn't alone. Bootcamp is training us as much as it is them. If you enjoy reading you might order this book, it has helped me a lot. And please join us on the message board when you feel ready. BNMH!!
Welcome CindyLou1 and keep breathing. The Boot Camp Blues are rough some days but you will make it. Keep that cell phone charged and attached to you. Answer every call! You can politely say, "no thank you" to unwanted callers. I rarely wear clothes with pockets so I got a belt clip for my phone. I did not want to be one of those heart broken moms who missed a call because they stepped out to get the mail. You can start writing letters now. Many Navy moms write everyday and save their letters until they have an address to send them to. This often helps us feel connected. Don't forget to write from the dog or cat if you have one.:) Cry if you need to but also look for satisfying and comforting ways to fill your time: meaningful work whether paid or volunteer, walking in nature, reading something funny or uplifting, a bubble bath, a glass of wine (not a bottle) or nice cup of tea. Do you have a hobby? If not, now is the time to get one. Knitting is a sanity saver for me. I started a beaded lace shawl the day my sailor deployed and finished it just in time for her return. Make lunch dates with friends whether virtual or in-person (COVID restrictions allowing).
NMH (That's "Navy Mom Hug" in case you don't know yet.)
Welcome!! Please read my blog to give you an idea of what the first few weeks may look like.. First Things First-- The Quarantine Edition Up and to the Left is a link to all the Navy Lingo! It is titled Navy Speak and you can find it here. We are here to get you through the “Great Silence” of the next 4 weeks (ish) and the 10 weeks of BC (ish). You will come to learn that No News Is GOOD News and everything is Needs of the Navy. You life will be Hurry Up and Wait and it’s ok to make plans but they are subject to change until after they have happened so it’s best to embrace the Motto: Semper Gumby!! (Always Flexible!!)
The Expected timeline will look like this
Day 0 -- Travel, Arrival and "I'm Here" scripted phone call
Day 1-14 -- ROM (Restriction of Movement/ Quarantine-- Lots of studying and waiting)
Day 15-21 Arrive Onboard RTC and begin P-days (P-days- Initial Processing Days) including 2 days of P-hold (Weekend)
Day 21-- Complete P days. (Initial PFT & Run)
Day 22-- Begin training and mail form letter out. Look for it to arrive around 1-2 weeks later)
All of this is assuming no exposure to COVID with additional ROM
Training typically occurs Monday - Friday but we have heard rumors that Saturday’s are now training days as well.
Normal PIR will be 10 Fridays after departure from Home but it can be less by 1 but it can be extended by ???? (lots!!) It just depends on how many times they get caught in the “Ring of Fire” but do not get COVID. IF they get COVID, Once they are recovered they will not be removed from training again even if they are in the “Ring of Fire”. (so there is that small silver lining if kids get sick)
I Hope you’ll come and join us on the Main Boot Camp Moms page: https://navyformoms.ning.com/group/bootcampmoms You may have to scroll down a ways to reach the comments but we’d love to get to know you and answer any questions or concerns you may have or just be a support from others who “get it”.
I was the same way 8 years ago. I Promise there will be a day when the tears are gone, there will even be a day when you realize you haven't thought about your child the whole day. It won't happen overnight but it will happen. We are here for you and we will get you through. One day at a time, One minute at a time, One breath at a time.... You and your SR will be ok and you will be stronger in the end!
Thank you everyone..I have already felt the love and understanding here. I do believe ..other friends and family just don't get it...not even my husband gets it...my other sons don't get it!! But here...here... You all know my exact feelings!! I appreciate each and everyone of you. Your kind words, your words of hope and inspiration. Thank you. <3