New Here, My Future Sailor leaving for MEPS Sunday

[Momof7]

My future sailor is my oldest (of 7) and he was born when I was 19, so I'm 37 years old now. He did his initial swear-in and signed a contract for Aviation before he turned 18 (he went into DEP because he was awaiting graduation) I have spent every day of basically half my life with him and I'm feeling really unready for him to leave. At the same time, he's so ready to go and I know he was born for this. 

But I'm struggling a little. It sounds silly but when I was ordering groceries online yesterday, I added cottage cheese to my cart and realized I didn't need to buy it because he won't be here to eat it (he has worked on his fitness and diet for the past two years in preparation for the Navy so he ate cottage cheese with every meal!) and it suddenly hit me. 

He just turned 18 in April and looks even younger, I can't fathom that he is no longer a kid. He always planned on going away for college but I didn't realize it would come so fast! 

What makes it harder is that my husband works out of town during the week so I'm alone with my thoughts/worries/sadness and I have six other children that are sad too. 

He's nervous too and I'm trying to keep him from being too stressed out but it's stressful, he's never been away from home except for summer camp. 

He's been joking that I've been preparing him for boot camp all his life because he's grown up in a small house with 5 brothers and I have to be extremely strict and regimented to make things work. Right now he shares a tiny room with his closest in age brother and they have always kept their belongings to a minimum because of space. He's been packing up his stuff to store as his next in line brother is planning to take his bunk to ease crowding in one of the other bedrooms. He's not even going to have a room to come back to when he visits, he'll be on the couch! I think it's hitting me that he's never going to live here again. I'm not ready for this! 

[Momof7]

TrilogyMom, thanks for sharing that. I think "the box" is going to be hard for me too. All I can do really is hope everything goes well and that our kids are happy and successful, right? In a lot of ways, that's harder than when you have toddlers and have to do all the hands-on stuff. 

[Momof7]

I just received "the call" from my son so now I am waiting for "The box". A lot of waiting! I went down the rabbit hole and read all the things that can go wrong during boot camp, injuries, emotional issues due to exhaustion, medical issues that recruits didn't know about beforehand so now that added to my fear but I know I need to keep it in perspective. 

My son called me from the airport in Chicago and sounded SO excited even though he's been at MEPS/travelling for 24 hours. I am happy he is excited and I have a feeling he's going to love military life, I just am scared something will happen to ruin it for him. Nothing left I can do though than hope for the best! 

[Phoenixmom]

Momof7 it is Hard for us Mother's to let go, I dont really look at it as letting go because they will always come home, but it is very hard. No one will understand what you feel unless they go thru it themselves. My Son is the Baby of 3 and we were and still are very close, It took a few weeks for me to see the light in all of this and all I did was cry. It has been a Year already my Son has been in, he has done his first deployment right after A school and is on the USS Theodore Roosevelt, I was very fortunate to have had communication with him and he sent me photos of all the beautiful places he has gone. so My Heart is content because he is doing what he always wanted to do and that was to see the world, and he is ok. Just think of this part as a test because it really is for them and for us. Their will be a time in your Loved Ones Journey where he will be on deployment and depending on what ship, sub or what his rate is they can be silent and that means no communication. So this is what you will have to endure it doesnt happen to all it just depends. That is why I let all Mothers know to start learning your Loved Ones Rate read on it what their duties will be what shore and Sea life will be for them and what type of ship ect he may be on if any at all. and it is very intersting to know what your Loved One will be doing and how long A school is for and where. Anytime you need info on anything please feel free to ask and I can guide you. You will be fine keep your head up and keeping busy will help as well.

[SunflowerLynn]

Momof7, your last line really hit me in the gut.  That's the thing that has really been hard for me to process: that my baby, who just graduated high school in May and left for boot camp 3 weeks later, does not live here anymore.  That's such a bizarre thought. But he's been gone for 6 weeks now, and though I won't lie and tell you it gets easier, I guess you just come to terms with it because what choice do you have? He's my "youngest" (by 12 minutes...he's a twin), and his twin brother is leaving me in August to go to college, but he'll only be about 45 minutes away.  My Seaman Recruit will be in Groton, CT, 1,400 miles away.  

Focus on how proud you are of him, how prepared he is for this great adventure he's about to embark on.  Focus on what a great decision he made to go into the Navy, how it's going to set him up for a great future.  You'll be alright, though you'll ache in your spirit those first few weeks when he's off to Great Lakes.  But this is what you raised him to do: to seize his future and do great things with his life! Be proud of yourself, too, Mom.  You've raised a good man. :-)

[Jennifer]

Momof7, my first born, April turning 18 year old daughter left a week ago this past Tuesday for bootcamp. The first week I went without any tears because I was used to her going to summer camps or traveling with school on various short trips which she always came home from a week or so later. I was able to talk with her each day. For me the not talking to her each day is the hardest. I thought I was prepared for her leaving but in the long run I did not prepare myself enough. It is difficult waiting  for that form letter, wondering what day it will surprise me. I know she is prepared to spread her wings; she is the strong, confident, smart, courageous, woman that I raised her to be. She is my firstborn preemie, my confidant and best friend. I still have my second born son and husband but they just don’t do the shopping, chatting, or going for coffee the same way and they definitely do not help around the house the same way!  I cannot not wait until her graduation day from basic, I am so proud of her and will be even more proud in that day. Stay strong, your son has got this! 

[Chipmunk]

Momof7 - I really feel for you and yet I know I didn't experience your same pain. My SR was #4 of 5 and I am 53 years old with a lot of goodbyes having been said to older children off to school, two married last year during bootcamp, both of my parents passed away recently, so there has been a lot of change in my life. The aches still come and go. I think I was more in shock with several things where as it seems like you and your children are getting hit pretty hard with the emotions of all of this. Be strong for your son, and when he is gone, before the communication is able to start, write letters (I wrote emails because it brought up his picture and made it seem more like I was sending something to him and even though he couldn't get it, I knew it would be there later.) Once I had his form letter and address, I copied and printed out my letters to him. Let the children write or dictate the things they are doing. My youngest son went through more withdrawal from his brother than I realized because for him, he was left at home by himself.

We all go through various stages of mourning and grief as we say goodbye, even as our SR's are staying busy, but I believe most of them enjoy hearing about the activities and things that are going on at home. I also gave his address to other mentors of his who wrote while he was at BC and that helped him a lot.

You are not alone as you can tell from the replies and staying busy, watching my own emotions and hormones and still staying focused on my other children, plus a hobby has all helped me. My son is a Nuke in Power School and so I do have the benefit of him being able to communicate with me more, just like today, calling when I least expected it. I keep my phone beside me at all times and cherish every call, even when it is inconvenient.

Prayers and letter writing, then planning for PIR helped me through BC. I didn't even have this site until a week before PIR, so I used the RTC site and a site my husband found on what was going on at BC to keep me going.

{Hugs}
Chipmunk

[Jennifer]

Momof7, my first born, April turning 18 year old daughter left a week ago this past Tuesday for bootcamp. The first week I went without any tears because I was used to her going to summer camps or traveling with school on various short trips which she always came home from a week or so later. I was able to talk with her each day. For me the not talking to her each day is the hardest. I thought I was prepared for her leaving but in the long run I did not prepare myself enough. It is difficult waiting  for that form letter, wondering what day it will surprise me. I know she is prepared to spread her wings; she is the strong, confident, smart, courageous, woman that I raised her to be. She is my firstborn preemie, my confidant and best friend. I still have my second born son and husband but they just don’t do the shopping, chatting, or going for coffee the same way and they definitely do not help around the house the same way!  I cannot not wait until her graduation day from basic, I am so proud of her and will be even more proud in that day. Stay strong, your son has got this! 

[Lulubugg]

Momof7,

it wii get easier. My Sailor Girl graduated last Friday and in A School now.  As I have shared in the past what he helped me, I made homemade cards with my youngest daughter. Once we got the “form letter”  with her address, we sent five or six cards every Monday.  It helped ease pain and help the time go by.  I even made cards for the recruits, that did not receive mail and they were very grateful.

When I seen her at graduation, it was so beautiful and I couldn’t be prouder.  The  role that she played in her division was amazing . 

[4Roses92]

Momof7 you summed up my emotions all at once.  Happy others feel the same way as I do.  My son will be leaving 8/30.  Youngest of my 2 boys - oldest in college and living at home, so I have not experienced anyone leaving yet.  This is hitting me hard...trying to be supportive of him because he is so happy with his decision.  Totally selfish on my part as I will miss him terribly and keep thinking our lives will never be the same once he has left.  Good Luck to you and All as we go through this adventure together!