This is so hard...

[ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola)]

I know I'm not the only mom going through the anguish of sending their child off to boot camp. But I am having the most difficult time. Since dropping my son off at airport to go to Germany, I've come home and been doing nothing but sleep. It's the only way so far that I have been able to cope with my daughter being gone. I feel so lonely, lost, depressed. I cherish my little notes that she sent back to me in her box and I keep her pictures close to me. I never go out of hearing distance from my cell phone. Never know when might get a call, good or bad. I don't want to miss it. I miss her so much. I really don't have anyone close that gets why I'm so down. They just tell me its only 9 weeks. But when you have a strong bond 9 weeks is forever. It's only been 5 days since she left and I feel like she been gone years. I keep scheming of way to kidnap her and then thinking of how angry she would be if I did. I never really would but the thought is there. LOL At the same time I'm the proudest parent ever. I know how bad she wanted to be in the Navy. Even though I had to push her really hard and she hated me for that. Or at least I thought she did. The morning she was to leave she was in her hotel room and she posted a message on my facebook wall telling me that she appreciated everything I did for her and she could never thank me enough for what I did. I told her as she got on that plane, the way should could thank me was to get through boot camp and graduate. So her mission was graduate at the top of her division even though I told her to do the best that she could. How can I not be proud. BUT GRRRRRR I miss her so much. I want to stop crying but I can't. So I sleep. This is so much worse then going through a divorce. Words cannot describe the feeling. I joke to people who ask me what's wrong, I tell them I'm mourning the loss of my daughter. I know she will be back but that is about how it feels. 

Sorry I had to let that out. I don't have anyone else to listen to me. The one who I always talked to is in boot camp. LOL

To all the other momma's feeling this way.... HUGSSS  I know at some point it gets better, but what point does that happen??

[Donna A (ship-03 div-278)]

I'm glad you're letting it out. This is a great place to express those feelings. I too have been sinking into a funk gradually since my son left for boot camp July 9th. I missed his two calls because the phone was on the charger in the other room or I slept through the phone ringing (the first call was at 1:30 am!). I became obsessed with keeping it with me. I've been having trouble letting myself go to bed staying up til 2 or 3 since he had called at 1:30am and I had missed it. I've had to work on allowing myself to feel what I feel and moving on. I get how you are feeling. I have raised my son to be an independent, kind, loving young man, and this is just another step in his personal growth and I wouldn't deny him this, but it tore me apart when he left. (We had some other issues as well.) I've been trying to keep myself busy and it helps a little. The best thing for me was his first letter I received just yesterday. I have read his letter several times sharing it with family members over the phone. It made my heart soar to read how well he's doing. This is what I want for him. To be confident, capable and willing to achieve his goals. I thank God for this. The letter really helped. I still miss him very much. (((((HUGS))))) to you, too.