This is so hard...

[ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola)]

I know I'm not the only mom going through the anguish of sending their child off to boot camp. But I am having the most difficult time. Since dropping my son off at airport to go to Germany, I've come home and been doing nothing but sleep. It's the only way so far that I have been able to cope with my daughter being gone. I feel so lonely, lost, depressed. I cherish my little notes that she sent back to me in her box and I keep her pictures close to me. I never go out of hearing distance from my cell phone. Never know when might get a call, good or bad. I don't want to miss it. I miss her so much. I really don't have anyone close that gets why I'm so down. They just tell me its only 9 weeks. But when you have a strong bond 9 weeks is forever. It's only been 5 days since she left and I feel like she been gone years. I keep scheming of way to kidnap her and then thinking of how angry she would be if I did. I never really would but the thought is there. LOL At the same time I'm the proudest parent ever. I know how bad she wanted to be in the Navy. Even though I had to push her really hard and she hated me for that. Or at least I thought she did. The morning she was to leave she was in her hotel room and she posted a message on my facebook wall telling me that she appreciated everything I did for her and she could never thank me enough for what I did. I told her as she got on that plane, the way should could thank me was to get through boot camp and graduate. So her mission was graduate at the top of her division even though I told her to do the best that she could. How can I not be proud. BUT GRRRRRR I miss her so much. I want to stop crying but I can't. So I sleep. This is so much worse then going through a divorce. Words cannot describe the feeling. I joke to people who ask me what's wrong, I tell them I'm mourning the loss of my daughter. I know she will be back but that is about how it feels. 

Sorry I had to let that out. I don't have anyone else to listen to me. The one who I always talked to is in boot camp. LOL

To all the other momma's feeling this way.... HUGSSS  I know at some point it gets better, but what point does that happen??

[StevesMom (Ship 12 Div 351)]

Ya know... I just had a lunch this past weekend with the Oklahoma Navy Moms and they said that those are EXACTLY the feelings you will go through... grieving. So, while I have not sent my son to boot camp yet, I can tell you that my moms are my rock and they all say those are normal feelings. One said that her husband questioned whether or not to take her to the hospital she was so bad. So, I would say to definitely find some moms in your area or state that can get you through this. Stay here and check in with us often. I know that the experienced moms will always talk you through your pain and will willingly meet with you or talk privately. They have ALL gone through this and will help.

Hang in there and cry all you want! You are MOM!!

[maboltship]

I feel the same way!  This all happened to fast.  It seems like he should still be here getting ready for another normal year of school.  I'll say a pray for you!

[Mommaof4 (FN/MM Groton CT)]

I know exactly how you feel and I feel the exact same way! My son has been gone 2 weeks and it hasn't gotten any better. Maybe when I hear from him it will. I don't know. Family are the ones who are supposed to be there but they are the ones telling me I have to get over it. So I feel like no one understands how I feel and I have no one to talk to. I have friended one navy mom whom I have spoke with on the phone who's son has already been through it and she has been great. On one hand I feel fortunate for that but on the other hand I feel like I am turning to complete strangers for comfort because my family is no comfort at all. I will tell you that finding a mom who is going through the same thing as you does help. Her and I talked for 2 hours tonight on the phone and I was actually laughing. Haven't done much of that these past 2 weeks. I really do understand how you feel and my heart goes out to you. This is not easy at all. You can vent anytime to me whenever you want. I will always listen and understand.

[Johnson x 2 Mom]

ModestoAngel.... I can relate to you. My son left last Wednesday (18th) & I miss him so much. I cry at the oddest things. My mom also just passed away 7 weeks ago so I never know if I'm missing my son, my mom or both. Staying busy seems to help me cause when I get still I start getting sad. Sleep is a welcome relief from the pain. I read and research everything I can about the Navy & especially bootcamp. It seems to help me to know what is going on while he is there. Once you get her address you can write lots of letters & that also helps to feel connected. My prayers for you & that you will find some peace.

[ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola)]

You guys are all so amazing. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. I was feeling really silly cuz I feel like I'm mourning my daughter. But milyndawade, you made it sound less silly by your saying that 'grieving' is the feelings you go through. Ya, it all happened so fast. When it began I  had 6 months, but now she is gone and I'm asking myself, where did my 6 months go. I keep saying someone stole my time. lol

Luke's mom: I can relate alot.. my mom, well its been a year now, but she passed away too. She was the only other person I had here to confide in. She always comforted me through my rough times. I don't have that now. And being a single mom, I don't have the significant other to cry to either. Only family I have close by is my step dad, and well he just can say 'I hope she knows what she is doing' (referring to my daughter). Her dad lives quite the distance and doesn't seem too in tune with what's going on. But then, he isn't the mom. I raised her since she was 3 by myself.

I was able to get her address on Friday from her recruiter, and her box came a few short hours afterwards with a note saying it wasn't so bad there as long as you listen. She is always trying to look at the bright side of everything. I already have a few letters ready to go. I'm hoping to get the form letter soon so I can start planning my trip to her PIR. But in the meantime sleep seems like the only way I can cope right now.

Thanks for all your support. It means so much to me. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers as well. I will say prayers for y'all as well. 

[Chas'Mom]

MA - First off, (((HUGSSSSS)))  I feel your pain in your words and just want you to know we are here and we will listen as much as you want to talk.  

My son hasn't left yet but I can imagine I will be in the same boat.  Only thing I worry about is all the sleeping...I have dealt with depression and sleeping was one of the key signs.  Talk to us honey, even if you want to repeat it over and over.  Virtual hugs are always given.  This is a rough time for the kids but it's a really rough time for the Moms.

You'll be in my prayers....hopefully talk to you soon

Tracy

Chas' Mom

[ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola)]

I have lost a step son in Afghanistan sept of 2008. So this is why it's harder then I expected to deal with. And he was in the navy as well. I am sorry if I make it seem I'm being selfish and shallow. Good luck to your daughter

[Lydia lukesmom (Ship 2 DIV 903)]

Hi Modesto Angel,

 

My son graduated from boot camp in October 2010.  Like you, I was divorced and had been since he was 8 months old.  He is my only child.  To say "Empty Nest Syndrome" is an understatement.  Most people whose kids leave home are at least married and have someone there to talk to.  I also found myself crying every day for the first 3 weeks.  Worried that they were being mean to him and his life was hell.  Then one day, as I was crying while washing the dishes, I thought "Oh my God, if I am like this and he is only gone for a while, what would it be like if he had died?"  And suddenly it hit me.  He was not dead!  He was just gone and I would talk to him soon.  THAT is what made me feel better.  I wrote letters to him every day and I will never forget the first letter I received from him.  It was 8 pages long, from a man of few words that was huge!  And he was fine, in fact, he loved it!  Of course I still missed him, but knowing he was doing well was the main thing I needed.  Navy For Mom's was a great help also.  Everyone posting when they receid letters and when the first phone call came.  The entire group will get their calls on the same day so it is something to look forward to.  And when he graduated, it wasthe proudest moment of my life so far.

Keep in mind, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

Lydia

[sparkyjo-PIR 09/21/12 Div 303]

My mother says about missing my daughter - she's not on drugs, she's not pregnant, you know where she is, and you will see her again.  I keep reminding myself of that.

 

[kesquivel78]

You are not alone.  I was happy as I could be when I dropped my son off at Meps in Memphis and on the way home it hit me and I cried off and on for 2-1/2 weeks.  I was happy but lost-he was my youngest.  I could not explain why I felt the way I did -I just did.  FINALLY after 2-1/2 weeks  the letters started coming then he called and I began to feel better.  Yes he was soooo homesick but he was where he wanted to be.  Then the next phone call he was better and so on.  You take it one day at a time but it does get somewhat easier.  Just remember to write, write, write.  That is what keeps them going also.  My son has been gone 5 weeks -his PIR is 8/17/12 and I am excited, happy, proud.  I still cry but not as much.  Good luck and hang in there. 

 

[Sherry (MA, San Antonio)]

Modesto sorry to hear you lost your step son in Afghanistan. Sending your daughter away had to be even harder for you than those of us who have never lost a child during a time of war. My heart goes out to you. My son left for boot camp on July 17. I too feel like I am grieving except I don't sleep unless I drink a couple of glasses of wine! The I'm here call from him was torture. I cried like a baby afterwards. My daughter said to me "He's not dead." but that was the way I felt the first two weeks. I had my son when I was 17 so who I am today is partly because of him. My bond with him is different from my daughters. I live them both equally but the relationship is different. I had 7 months to prepare and those months went by way too fast. It really started hitting me about 2 weeks before and that's when the tears started falling also and still do. This site has been a God send. All these moms understand. If you a ear to bend just let me know. We are all in this together.

[bethr311]

{{{ hugs }}} to you. It is hard. I have this nagging little worry about my son all the time, and if I ever lose sight of that worry, I feel like a bad mom. I think it will get easier for a lot of us when they get their feet under them and know they're going to make it through boot camp. I feel like I'm holding my breath a little bit all the time.

I'm always tired too.

I never would have believed it but honestly a lot of times I feel better after going to the gym. I load my phone with the most positive, brain candy, booty shaking music I can find and sweat away on the treadmill or bike. Drink a lot of water too, it can only help. Bring on Sept. 7!!