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Update to my son left on 7/11
I hope all is well...
I have been having a rough go of things ...
I write my SR at least every other day and yesterday my ex husband calls my oldest son to tell him he received a phone call on Saturday and 12 letters...yup 12
And what did I get, you got it...NOTHING...
I have a heavy heart today and my eyes just want to over flow with tears but I can't...I have to stop crying, it doesn't do me any good..it doesn't and wont fix anything
I will continue to write as frequently as I am but I have to admit my expectations of receiving anything in return are slowly withering away...I just fell like none of it matters and I really am nothing to him
Again sorry for the "debbie downer" but none of this is getting easier...as a matter of fact every day it gets a little harder and a little worse =/
Heather
Views: 670
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by MAG on
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Heather, I am so sorry. This is a difficult experience, and this isn't helping. Had your son lived with you before he went to BC? As difficult as it is, I think you should continue to write to him. Send all positive stuff. Maybe he would be a good candidate for a "Questionnaire" type letter. Tell him you know he doesn't have much time to write - they don't - and that you would love to have an update. Send him a self-addressed stamped envelope. All he will have to do is fill in the blanks. Keep in mind that at the end of the day, you are his Mom, you love him unconditionally, and sometimes they seem to take advantage of that.
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Permalink Reply by Heather7274 on
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No, he wasn't living with me before left and as a matter of fact our relationship has been tainted since his father and I divorced in 2007...
I wont stop writing...I do send cards, letters, questionnaires and also silly pet pictures with funny captions...anything to keep him positive through this experience...that's what matters to me is that he at least knows that I am there if and when he does need me...It would just be nice to get some information directly from my ex husband :(
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Permalink Reply by michelle71 on
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((Heather)) sending hugs and love. I'm sorry your SR isn't writing you, I know that hurts. I am sure he thinks of you daily after all, you are Mom. Sometimes I think boys in particular avoid what is the hardest and perhaps he misses you more than he wants you to know. Are you going to PIR? I hope you are able to!
Hang in there, he's half way through, I'm sure thirds will get a little easier for all of us Moms and SRs alike. <3 -
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Thanks I could use a good hug right now ... I can not go to PIR unless my SR puts me on the list and as it stands right now I don't see that happening...but I guess with 6 weeks left to his PIR anything could happen right
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Heather, my heart breaks for you. I'm so very sorry. I don't know what to say. I defnitely won't say I know how you feel because I don't but I can only imagine. All I can say is please don't give up hope and keep writing those letters. I will keep praying for you and for your son. God bless your broken heart, as only He can do. Please come here and write as often as you need to. We are here for you. Remember Luke 18:27 says "What is impossible with man is possible with God." I'm here any time you want to talk. Friend me on Facebook or I'm happy to give you my cell number. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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I guess all I can do is except the challenge as my SR did...and I will not break no matter how hard he tries to break me. I won't give up or give in and I will prevail as he will....I have to stand strong and be brave and believe in myself and believe in him. Its just s damn hard...and i think because I am Mom it hurts so damn much :(
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Permalink Reply by Lynn on
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Heather, I am so very sorry. But as all already said, please continue to write to him. Boys are hard headed, but always have a place in there hearts for us moms. Xoxoxo..
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I will continue to write to him...and now to other SR's that aren't receiving any mail at all...I know my boy is hard headed but geez how long does it take for that wall to come down...
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My ex tells our oldest son bits and pieces because he knows that he will tell me...so yes he is carefully choosing those bits and pieces because he knows they will be the most hurtful...i am at the point now that I honestly dont want to know unless it comes straight from my SR
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Heather,
So sorry for your situation. My son's father and I are divorced and live in different states. When my son was in boot camp he would write us on alternating days. I don't now if you and your son have a falling out before he left boot camp, but I encourage you to keep writing. Keep the letters uplifting, mention that his dad had gotten some letters, but don't scold him for it. Even keep it lighthearted, like sending him one of the funny questionnaires that are posted on the site, the kids love them. Tell him how much you are thinking of him, praying for him, etc. give him only non-stressful news, I.e. what his buddies, siblings, etc. are up to back home. Do you have a relationship with his dad where the ex would read you excerpts from his letters? Hang in there, do plan to go to PIR and let your fellow moms hold you up. You can contact me directly at mdcarr3@gmail.com anytime. God bless you and your SR, you will make it through this and your SR will amaze you with the maturity he gains through this process. -
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Yes we did and haven't really talked in just about 2 years...it has been a long two years and I have tried many different ways to get him back but his father had a greater hold on him then I realized. I would never be upset with him for communicating with his father...and I keep my letters, cards, questionnaires and such very light and i mostly go for the humor approach...
I would love to go to his PIR but I have to be "invited" and well as it stands right now I don't see that happening but there is still a long 6 weeks left and a lot can change in 6 weeks...right?
Thank you very much for all the love and support yu ladies are amazing :)
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You are right and at this point in time all I can do is continue writing and hoping that maybe one day I will get a letter or something in return.
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