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Comment by I'm Laurie the Sailor's Mom! on April 25, 2014 at 11:12am

The weather should be improving in Monterey as well. The winter months, though very mild, can be gray, misty, and gloomy, day in and day out. My son spent two winters there and did not like the dreariness.

Comment by I'm Laurie the Sailor's Mom! on April 25, 2014 at 10:59am

brisom - what your daughter is doing is very, very hard. If she can understand how extraordinarily difficult DLI is, she might get a feeling of great accomplishment which would lift her spirits. My son was able to meet some civilian language students from the college in Monterey. What he came to understand was every couple of months at DLI was equivalent to about a year of civilian college language progress. At DLI, that is normal and expected. Out in the civilian world it is a tremendous accomplishment. Soon, after the beginning few months, she will begin to have a sense of mastery of her language which will naturally lead to a sense of pride in accomplishment. If there are restaurants in the area where the proprietors speak her language, I would encourage her to go often. The realization of all the progress she has made would be good for her. And, it may seem like an odd suggestion, when they are all so busy, but there are many opportunities for volunteer activities which can be very fulfilling. Actually, a certain number of volunteer hours are expected, but she may be able to choose an area which would give her joy or at least a sense of gratitude in her own situation.

Comment by brismom on April 25, 2014 at 9:24am

Thank you KC'smom. I feel helpless being so far away. Hope and faith and lots of support.

Comment by KC'smom on April 25, 2014 at 8:30am

brismom- I can kind of relate to your daughter. My son developed a medical concern during DLI and he didn't dare go to a dr. about it.  As a current college student myself, I can also see where she would feel worthless.  The stress can just play tricks on our minds.  We might see someone doing better than us and feel inadequate.  Even though we are doing good, we just want to be the best!  It's awful.  My son is very smart but when he went through the program he was on edge. He actually felt it wasn't hard but he was under so much stress that talking to him at times was just miserable.  There was just so much to do in so little time.  Homework, room inspections, etc.  She probably feels the same way as a lot of other people there right now. 

Comment by KC'smom on April 25, 2014 at 8:22am

Reid's ma- yeah, this is not the first time the navy had clerical problems and didn't pay him! hahaha, he went a long time after a promotion once without being paid his new rate.  Along with a few other times as well. He did a lot of traveling when he was bouncing around from school to school and he had to pay for his hotel room out of pocket once or twice.  (they had him stay in "hotels" rather than in the dorms.) He would eventually get reimbursed.    I think he's used to it as well.  But from what he's told me they seem to have always finally given him his pay- just maybe 6 months later.  And he has to be on his toes about it or he would never get it!

Comment by brismom on April 25, 2014 at 7:39am

Good morning! I need some advice!! My daughter is in her 5th. month at DLI. She is doing fine with school, has made many friends and likes the area. She called last night and said she is very depressed and feels worthless!! She is hoping it is PMS that may be contributing to this mood, but I am concerned. We are going there to visit Memorial wkend, but I told her that I could be there tomorrow if she needed. I also told her to talk with someone there-a teacher,or someone that she trusts. She is leery of Medical (she's had problems with her feet since BC) and won't go for fear of being kept from school. So seeking professional advice is out of the question for her. Many of you senior moms have been thru this roller coaster ride! Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Comment by Reid's Ma on April 24, 2014 at 11:50pm

Most every time with a change of duty, the DFAS messes up pay. My son expects it after 10 years. He was IA in Iraq a couple years ago and had to use his own credit card for expenses. Was many months before re-embursement for rental car, gas etc. Just paperwork goes through so many hands and gets lost. He photocopies everything. Pay didn't catch up with him for those 9 mos. or when he left DLI very fast. Glad you got your son back safely!    

Comment by KC'smom on April 24, 2014 at 11:34pm

By the way... Update on my boy's return to US. The whole time he was deployed in the Middle East the navy messed up his checks & never paid him ( or anyone else there during those 6 months ) their 'imminent danger pay'. They finally fixed the paperwork error as he was leaving & he was paid his 6 months of extra imminent danger pay in 1 lump sum. So... He just bought a new car! ( well, 2012 ) but it's paid for in full!!! So happy bc he deserves it. There was some rough stuff going on while he was there & I'm grateful the navy offers that monitory bonus. :-)

Comment by KC'smom on April 24, 2014 at 11:27pm

We got lucky- right outside the gate to the base in Minterey is a little sandwich shop that is VERY popular with the DLI folks. My son was a regular & the owner was so appreciative he would stick extra treats in his carry out bags. ( actually BIG treats ). The owner has guest passes to the Aquarium & told KC we could use them. So me, my husband & our 2 younger kids got in for free. It was awesome. KC didn't go with us - he was sooo busy. We were there right at graduation. He had final room inspections & packing & other paperwork stuff to do before heading out.

Comment by I'm Laurie the Sailor's Mom! on April 24, 2014 at 8:59pm

Susan, the $$ were well spent to connect your sailor with his phone. They are used for work communication all the time--kind of hard to operate without one.

And, I think it is a very good idea that you are weaning yourself from the constant contact of daily texts. If he ends up on a sub and out of touch for 2-3 months, neither of you wants to add separation angst to an already difficult situation. Keep watch, make more contact during the harder study stages, send uplifting, encouraging emails, learn all you can about the program, keep alert for signs of despair or depression, mail good care packages with treats and cash, but let him grow up and be the man the Navy needs him to be.

Just my two cents. Ignore whatever doesn't work for you.

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