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son leaves april 26th, but he is closing us off................rollercoaster everyday.
Views: 29
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lisa (Olivia Div 09-Ship 331) on
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I once read that there is a process for children, all children, that as they age, they begin to shut out parents. This is due to reducing the anxiety of separation. When I feel the shut off happening with my daughter, I remind her that when she is gone that she will wish that she had her "childhood" back in the safety of home. I tell her to learn from my experience since I moved out of my parents home when I was 20. We never appreciate what we have until it is gone.
Maybe your son is beginning his process of separation and anticipating that he needs to be independent so that he does not hurt as much when he leaves.
Its very trying, and for mom's it kills us to not have the same relationship. Unfortunately they are not our babies anymore and we, as mothers, need to adapt and embrace the development of our children.
My daughter is my youngest of 3, and I feel for your angst, at least when she becomes a bit snotty towards me, I ask, "are you getting your period?". This usually breaks the ice and we smile. She gets it.
You might want to create a sentence with your son to "break the ice". Its working for me.
All the best to you!
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Permalink Reply by jill on
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exactlly how he is acting, except i don't think god prepared me for this time.... i will try harder.......thank you...
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i have also questioned if he will even want us to come to pir, with the way he has been .. it would break my heart if he didn't....i am very proud of him, and want him to understand this..... thanks for all advice and info
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i'm sure he'll want you to attend. regardless, you need to go.
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Permalink Reply by JerrysMom on
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My son does not leave until October, but I know the moods that you are referring to because both of my younger sisters have gone through this process of shutting people out many times over the years. Or so that's the way I looked at it, at first. I've always tried to remind myself that we all process our emotions differently and each of these instances was only a phase they were going through. A phase that would eventually pass. After some time would go by with them seeming distant from me, they would call one day and we would talk for hours about everything and nothing, just little things we remembered from our past, or things going on in their lives at that time. These moments of openness made up for all the times I wanted to be close to them, but felt they were pulling away.
Even though my son is not very open with his feelings and never has been, there are occasions when he calls me for advice. Those are the treasured events that I hold dear to my heart, because I know it's difficult for him to be personal. I panicked when I first learned he was going into the Navy. The panic was not because of the military itself, but because he would be so definitely pulled from me so suddenly. I've adjusted to the idea and even though it's still not going to be easy, I know he is doing something great for himself and I'm so very proud of him!
Just always try to remember, no matter what emotions he is going through, and no matter how difficult and rocky your relationship with him is: This too shall pass!
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i am very glad he is joining the navy. i think it will be very good for him. my heart is not hearing any of this, it is thinking of him leaving nc, 2 weeks after his sister delivers a liitle girl, and right before his brother is transferred from chicago to nc for his job.... timing seems to be taking its toll on my emotions. he has been so good with his nephew, and i know that little girl is gonna miss out on that precious time with uncle ry-ry...i am used to my children moving around, but this time it seems different.. i want to cut off the tears in my heart, and enjoy these last 2 months to the fullest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for all the advice and your experiences being shared...... i'll work on the heart strings, and concentrate on good times....... thank you
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