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Our home officially became an empty nest on March 29th
Views: 414
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by knitterka on
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I am there with you, my son has now been in the navy for 4 years. I get to see him 2 times a year because we make a real effort to do such and to fly up and meet him. It's hard having him away BUT, I remember back to his last year living home and know he is where he is meant to be. He has far exceeded our expectations on his accomplishments and has grown to be a man no longer a boy. He is responsible, self supporting, and able to make his own plans for the Future . I couldn't be more proud. it is hard not being together but I like the person he's become and am willing for me to pay the price of loanlyness for him to grow.
I truly do believe that the Navy is the best thing that has happened to my son and that he will forever benefit from it. -
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Permalink Reply by BlueMom11 on
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Thank you knitterka! I feel the same. His last year at home he truly was a wilting flower on the vine. He desperately wanted friends and to grow up but couldn't connect with anyone. I believe that this will be the best decision he ever made and know that he is doing a great thing for our country. Is there anything you've done to help ease the loneliness in between visits?
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Writing letters has helped me. Poor thing was barraged with them. It helped him too. After boot camp you can send care packages.
Boot camp is a hard experience for them as well so writing daily and there getting a daily letter telling them how proud you are and being encouraging is a big boost. You can just say that over and over, it's that they get a letter as much as what it says.
Graduation is worth going to. We stayed at the Residence Inn where they had a kitchen. I cooked on their little stove all his favorites. Think of that and what you would make / do.
After boot camp there's A school at possibly a different location. As where that may be and look into being able to visit there or provide your sailer information on that area. Mine went to Groton Conn and loved going to NYC during passes.
Is your going subs or surface, what rate? Just be proud they are taking this step and be strong, they miss you too.
Now that my son is deployed I have what I think of as the collection box, I have it on the table and add things that I want to show him or discuss. When it gets close to his being back I'll send it to his PO box, along with cookies, candy etc. I always send enough to share using a flat rate box. Many of the guys don't have home support so it's nice to have them share. Home made cookies are a gear universal bartering tool!
All that said, clean their room, box up stuff they may want to get sent for A School like some normal clothes, sterio, etc. they'll be in a dorm room and will have limited space. Ironically my sailors favorite was having his sheets back and a good blanket. It's always the little things. -
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Permalink Reply by Joniana (Helen) on
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BlueMom11 -- I totally get your feeling (and I'm a much older mom). There's a terrific book called Beyond the Mommy Years by Carin Rubenstein. You can get a used copy on Amazon for $0.01 plus shipping! http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0446580805/ref=sr_1_1_twi_ha...
It talks about the different stages of moving on after your kids leave. I've read it a couple of times and always find it helpful. The empty-nest stuff really didn't it me until my son graduated from Prototype and moved to his permanent station. It's up and down, but it does eventually get better. Take care.
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Permalink Reply by bz74mom on
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Thank you so much for the book recommendation ! im not much of a reader but I can tell you I certainly need to read this one. This is so much tougher than I ever imagined it would be.
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Permalink Reply by B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet) on
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Hi BlueMom - just noticed this post. That's funny about your hubby! When my son left for BC back in 2012 (and younger son left for college) I took advantage and turned his room into a guest room with a nautical theme. That took up some time - painting & decorating. Had a lot of fun doing it.....
It does take some getting used to the kids being gone. I read more now and of course spend more time on N4M lol! My sailor is out now but he stayed in VA and will be starting college in August - so 4 more years he'll be away (and most likely won't come home after that - he'll be 27 in June). And younger son is graduating college in 16 days but he's not planning on coming home either! Trust me though, the time goes by fast. We're all here for you ;-)
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Thanks! Each day gets a tiny bit easier. Thank you for the reply, it does help.
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Hi Dawn - well that's nice that your daughter moved back closer to home! Sure makes it a little easier :) Our oldest is in VA (he's out of the Navy now - going to college there on his GI Bill). Our youngest graduated college last April and moved back home in October. It's been nice having him around (he's working FT but saving $$$ so he can move out with his buddy). Pop on to the main page and introduce yourself!
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Permalink Reply by Barbara on
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Well, it's been 3 months for you now. How are you dealing with things? My only daughter, who turned 18 her first week of BC, left on June 27th. I feel just like you did. Each day seems a little better, but I still walk into her room and bathroom every day and feel sad. She and I had been fighting like cats and dogs for the last 6 months.... maybe that was her way of emotionally detaching from me.... or that's what I'd like to think anyway. I thought I would celebrate and want to just bust loose and go on a cruise. Instead I just cried for a week. And so did my husband. Although he also has been enjoying running around about naked and not locking our bedroom door.
At this point, I have only gotten The Box. I haven't even gotten the form letter with her mailing address. It has been difficult, but we are starting to look for fun things to do on Groupon and are planning a cruise for after her PIR. But as of yet, I haven't gotten over the hump.
So when did you start accepting the reality that, not only would your son be gone for boot camp, but that he would probably never live at home again and that things would never be the same? Like I said, on one hand, I couldn't wait for her to get the heck out. But now.... I'm just sad.
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I just noticed this post from April 3, 2016. I wasn't even a part of the Navy Mom community in 2...
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