A School Problems!

[RobsPrincess12]

Hey everybody. My fiancé graduated from BC and is finally in A School. I was very excited about the fact that I could talk to him because he would have his phone but now I'm kind of sad. It seems like when I finally get to talk to him at night, he's sleepy and falling asleep on the phone. Class starts tomorrow so I know that it will only get worse. Is this normal or should I talk to him about it? I want him to enjoy himself and make friends but I also want a little time too. How selfish do I sound?

[KYKathryn Ship2Div913]

I say give him a little time to adjust.  Did he just get there Saturday?  I am preparing myself for a call every other day.  Every day would be great but I know mine will want to be on top of everything going on.  How long as your phone calls presently?  Which A School? (no reason, just curious!)

[RobsPrincess12]

He graduated on 12-28-12 so he's been there for a few weeks. He's in Mississippi. I know that he is focused out there. I just miss him.

[mrs.jane.rad]

What base in Ms? My husband is at Keesler.

[mrs.jane.rad]

I am going through the same thing. My husband is about 2 months into A school. It's rough, I'm not going to lie. It's really intense and they dont get a lot of sleep so sometimes our conversations are sometimes wonderful and  sometimes short and grumpy. I just remember how much stress he is under. I also went back to cards and letters like in bootcamp. It's the time when I can tell him about the stupid or funny things that I forget about when we talk. It's also just a way that I feel closer to him and he really loves getting the cards. I can't wait for school to be over, and I am trying really hard just to stay optimistic and supportive when we talk because I know that's what he needs. I know just what you mean about feeling selfish, but I am really lucky and have great family to vent to so I can get it out of my system :) 

[Veronica (Ship14 DIV046)]

This is my boyfriends 3rd week in A school and we definitely don't talk like I thought we would. He has a rough schedule like everyone else but he does text me in the mornings after class and we talk at night for a little bit, sometimes an hour if I'm lucky. I feel so frustrated at times because I just want him to talk to me but I have to understand he has to get his rest, study and prepare his chores. I know how you feel, we just have to be patient and not selfish. I also hate that the friends he has always hang out with them and I just want him to talk to me instead of hanging out with his friends lol!! But I have to be understanding as well. That's basically their schedules until they graduate A school. I try not to show it to him or get mad because I want him to keep working hard and stay motivated.

[RobsPrincess12]

We talk at like 5 in the morning b4 he leaves for the day. It's always short and sweet and I'm half asleep but I love those calls lol. I know exactly how you feel about him and his friends. Sometimes I just wanna tell him "go to your room and talk to me right now" lol.

[sailorwifenmom]

First, I'm sorry I liked this, it wasn't meant to say this was good, I was scrolling and my thumb clicked like...

Maybe you guys could come up with an earlier time to talk, so that you can both enjoy the conversation and both still get enough rest.

[meagan5220]

A school is def a hard transition time for both parties. Us back home are sooo happy because they finally have the means to call! And on their end they are so glad to be able to breathe a bit after BC! My husband and I set reasonable expectations. He called me every morning before PT or class and he text me or called on his lunch break and then when he got out of class if he didnt have watch or whatnot. Then he would call me before he went to sleep. They werent always long calls and it wasnt everyday the same schedule. It just depended. I let him know how much it meant to me that he took 15-20 minutes out of his day to call me and just talk to me. I also realized some days he just couldnt swing that much time. Or somedays I couldnt swing the time when he could. I was working two jobs and taking 18 hours so our schedules didnt always sync up. I know its hard but its preparation for deployments. Not only for him but for you. I would say talk to him about if he is spending time with friends all evening to take some time out of his evening to call you. Its also important that while you have time to talk to take advantage of it.

[Dina0106]

If he has been there for only a few weeks he might need time to adjust. When my fiance first got to A-school I was really frustrated because I knew he wasn't locked down like bootcamp but he wasn't available still. What I had do is tell me his schedule completely so that I was able to be more understanding. Because I now knew he had duty, and he wasn't allowed on his phone until certain times. It made me less prone to taking it out on him. We also set up a schedule, we routinely txt from about about 5-he calls me which is usually around 10:30 my time. He rarely gets enough sleep sometimes because he knows how important it is for me to talk to him for atleast an hour a night. Sometimes I sneak in 2 which makes it super special for me. I am not really working now till I deliver so at this point it is easy to work out a rountine. He is mostly free on weekends, some saturdays he does have duty, and sometimes he goes out with friends. But he also has weekends where he basically tells me: "babe all yours!" SO he would go to this computer place and we would skype or be on the phone for hours.

I think as  his significant other you shoud also find a not so aggressive way of letting him know that you do need his attention, so as he starts adjusting. It would also be great for you two to come up with a schedule and communication time that works for the both of you. Navy or not a key componet to any relationship is communication. You aren't asking for to much if you want let's say 30mins a day and then build on to it, because once he enjoys your company again like his used to, all the laughing and good feelings. It will encourage him to be more considerate.

[RobsPrincess12]

I know I'm late but thank you. Your suggestions really helped. He has been trying to make more time for us. We do a lot of texting and he really tries to talk to me at night. I'm happy that he is making friends and enjoying himself. I guess sometimes i just hate that I'm not there to enjoy it with him.