after a visit emotions - support

[heathee12]

Hi All, My SA is in WA and I am in NY. I went to see him this past weekend in WA and we had a super great time, my issue is I have trouble when I am home feeling sad about the distance between us. I think it is almost harder that we get to spend a weekend together and I remember what it feels like to have a partner and then I come home to being by myself.  It's not that I don't appreciate our time together because I definitely do it is just really hard after.  It seems like this first week being back from a visit I go through a withdrawal - I am sad, don't really want to talk and just am not as upbeat as normal. even last night when we talked it's kind of "back to our routine".  I work a full time job and am active so it's not like I don't have things to do it just isn't the same. Any advice|tips? Is this anything someone else is experiencing or has experienced?

[mayersr10]

Hey I actually just visited my boyfriend this past weekend for his graduation and getting back home I felt the same way as you. I just felt like it was normal again when I was with him and now I'm just wondering what I should be doing. I feel as if I should be with him all the time because that's what feels right and being away is hard. Even though it is hard I'm just thinking about the next time I'll get to see him and I'm just thankful that we get to have normal communication now. Since that was the first time seeing him after he left I don't have any other tips to provide. I would just say look forward to the next great time you two can spend together.

[bizzy]

I've been through the exact same thing several times. My husband has been gone for over a year now, and I've gotten to visit him a couple times for a few days each time. Everyone always says they try to stay away from me the week I get back from visiting him because I turn into a total brat. It's so difficult to explain to them how I feel when I finally do have him and then have to leave him so soon again. I guess my advice is to just keep pushing through. For me it never got any easier but I just knew it was coming. It'll end eventually, and you two will get to be together again permanently. It may seem like forever, but after living across the country from my husband for 18 months, we finally get to move to his next station together in November. You'll get through it! If I can do it anyone can.

[abuon18]

It's normal. Before I was able to live with my husband, while he was in ATT and A school I would visit him for 3 or 4 days, then come home and be in that same withdrawn funk for about a week before I got back into my new normal routine of work, gym and friends. While we get that time together for those few days it's so easy to settle back into it and get used to it again.... Needless to say much harder to get used to being alone again! Unfortunately one of the downsides of being a military s/o but not to sound cliche it really does make you appreciate the time you do get together more.

But you're totally normal in feeling that way and I would always plan for it. Keeping my schedule completely free that week aside from work and giving myself time to be sad and mad and anti-social. Then I'd make myself snap out of it.