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Another question on when to get married.

My Sailor graduated boot on 2/17, and he proposed to me that night. (Before I go on, I want to make sure everyone knows that we have been together for more than 4 years.) We want to get married, but are trying to decide WHEN, like so many others. We have been planning on doing a quickie courthouse type thing for now, and planning a vow renewal at home in Texas for later on. So planning a big to-do isn't the issue right now. He told me last night that he was told it would be easier for us to do it while he is still in the first half of his A school at Great Lakes, before he goes to San Diego (quicker, with less of a paperwork headache). Does anyone know if this is true? I dont know if it really matters because I plan to stay home to finish school anyway (a minimum of a year from now) so I don't necessarily HAVE to be on his orders RIGHT NOW, do I?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by esther22ship02div932PIR7-1 on February 24, 2012 at 11:02am

Just from other situations that I've seen, this is my advice.  If you know you are going to marry him, DO IT NOW!  Orders are cut in advance, you're already a little behind the game by not being married yet.  Orders are for more than a year at a time, and they won't change his orders just because he gets married.  Get married BEFORE he gets his orders.  This is one way people end up getting unaccompanied orders somewhere and then complain that the Navy doesn't care about their family.  It could still happen, getting married won't completely take you out of that possibility, but in my opinion that sooner you are added to his orders the better.

Permalink Reply by Anti M on February 24, 2012 at 11:06am

There are advantages to marrying sooner than later.  And yes, doing the paperwork in Great Lakes is possibly smoother because they do a LOT of the packets on base, and the courthouse handles many military marriages.  Also, which A school in San Diego? BUDS?  

If it is BUDS, marry right now.  ASAP.  

Other than that, why would you ignore a full year of BAH and nearly free health care?  

Permalink Reply by lyssarie on February 24, 2012 at 11:18am
His rate is STG, so I don't think it's BUDS, but I don't know the name of it.
Will we be able to get everything done there? And would we be able to do it during the week, or weekend only since he is in phase 1 for liberty?
Would he be able to get BAH if I'm not living with him at first? I really want to finish my paramedic program where I started it, if I can.
Permalink Reply by Anti M on February 24, 2012 at 11:25am

STG is sonar technician.   (BUDS is SEALS, and they are death on marriage)

He can leave base during phase one.  You'd have to get there and get him to the courthouse on Friday evening to get the license (they're open late) and then get him back in time for curfew.  Then the courthouse is open Saturday morning.  No problem, especially if his POs know he needs to be on and off liberty on time.  As long as it isn't a duty weekend, and he can tell you if he'll have duty or not.  He just can't spend the night with you in phase one.  

Rules for liberty:

https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=266748330007800

Lake County marriage license info, hours and location:

http://countyclerk.lakecountyil.gov/VitalRecords/Pages/Marriage-Lic...

A spouse is eligible for BAH even if they do not live with their sponsor.  When he is in training, it will go by your zip code.  When he gets PCS orders, it will go by his zip code.

http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm

AngiePermalink Reply by Angie on February 24, 2012 at 12:08pm

Something I don't understand, if your soon to be husband says it is true, why don't you listen to him?  If you plan on marring him and spending the rest of your life together where is the trust?

Permalink Reply by Noemi(Ship 12, DIV 054)Colin<3 on February 24, 2012 at 2:40pm

I Just got married on the 2/10/12. My husband was told if he wanted to get married with me, he would have to do it Now. U have to understand my Husband graduated boot on 2/4, When he arrived to A school. They asked everyone who wanted to get married. And my husband raised his hand, they told him If he wants to get married with me, I have to be there by Wednesday 4pm. So I only had a day to pack what I could and fly to SC. After I got there, they only gave us a few days to head to the court house and get married. The day of my wedding I had to go to the office with my husband and let them know we are married. That same day, Since it was on a Friday they gave me a Temp house till they could find me my house. The reason why we had to do it like this was cuz they told him that once they start A school they wont let u get married till after A school. So u could be waiting from 3 to 6 months. So we got married at the court house and in a few month we are having our wedding at the Chapel. I hope this helps. Would have loved for some one to let me know what to expect. . . If u have any more questions dont be afraid to ask. . .

Permalink Reply by Anti M on February 24, 2012 at 4:37pm

That was Goose Creek, wasn't it?  Nuke program.   They do things differently than at Great Lakes.  They are also much better at seeing the dependents get into housing, they expect the spouse to live there, much longer school, much longer program than any A school at Glakes.  

Permalink Reply by Noemi(Ship 12, DIV 054)Colin<3 on February 26, 2012 at 11:11am

Yes Its in Goose Creek :D

Permalink Reply by lyssarie on February 24, 2012 at 2:56pm
Anti M- thanks so much for the info. That helps A LOT!
Angie- it's not that I don't trust him, i just want to confirm that what he was told is correct since I've heard about others who were told wrong and then had problems.

Thanks everyone for your input. It makes me a little less confused to hear that others have been through the same stuff, and learn what they did to make things happen the right way

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