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Bootcamp to A school
My boyfriend is in boot camp right now and is on week 4 day 4 I believe and I got a letter yesterday, very short. He said he didn't have a lot of time to write last week due to it being Hell Week and he is outrageously busy. Well we had planned on this engagement deal for a bit of time and he proposed in a letter and of course I said yes but we want his family to be around when he officially does it with the ring. Well in his letter yesterday he said he would like to wait til he gets leave from A school in July, I mean I don't mind but he mentioned getting to stay with his female cousin since she lives around there and I'm afraid something may go wrong because she is about his age, maybe older, and I know she has girl friends that are about his age as well and I'm terrified of him talking to new girls. He is a shy guy and will not talk to anyone at first, especially women, but since boot camp is gonna be working that shyness out of him, he will be able to talk to anyone he likes at any point. So I have a gut feeling he knows he may meet someone new and better than I and I definitely don't want that happening since I have already planned on spending the rest of my life with this boy. I believe our biggest problem is that we are 3 years apart and I'm in my last year of high school...
Will someone respond with advice to cope with this please? I don't know what to do about this problem...
Thanks for reading!((:
Views: 335
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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You really need to work on your ability to trust him unconditionally. He WILL be talking to and working with many women... female sailors. They will be dynamic interesting women too.... the Navy is full of them. You need to understand you are also worthy, interesting and the one he loves. Often mistrust without a solid reason is founded in self-esteem. You need to work on believing you are awesome, because you are. Being confident is very attractive!
Also, drop the "boys and girls". Now you are "men and women".
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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If you don't trust each other, you don't have a real relationship. He will have changed (a lot) from bootcamp he will not be the same boy who left, he is now a man....you need to look deep into yourself and are you still a girl, or are you a grown women? If you are meant to be together it takes work and trust. If you can't not accept that and understand that both of you will grown and change..you will be left behind.
Also with him talking about getting leave in July after "A" School...odds are that won't be when he gets leave. ALL the schools are backed up right now...so maybe push that out 2,3,4 months
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I agree with the other ladies. It really does come down to trust. Even if you were married and living together, you will still have lots of time apart. He will deploy, or go TAD, or get unaccompanied orders somewhere, and there will be women. Some of them nice, some sexy, some friends and or co-workers, people who will share a part of him that, honestly, you never will, unless you also enlist. BUT - do you trust him to be faithful and love you? Because, frankly, I've seen more Navy relationships end because of lack of trust / jealousy / being overly clingy, than because of cheating.
It's that simple and that hard - you have to choose if you trust or not. If you do, then unless and until he cheats, let it go and let the "you can't talk to any female I don't know" mindset go. If you can't do this, then, for your sake and his, let him go, at least until he is out of the Navy or you can trust him.
Only you can make that choice!
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