Boyfriend in Boot Camp

[HannahKathryn17]

My boyfriend just left on January 10th for basic. He wasn't supposed to leave until March, but his recruiter made him switch with another guy. My mom and I have been checking this website for a few months now to try and get me ready for it. After he swore in on Tuesday, we went to the airport. We had read on here that we could actually get a pass to get through security, so I was able to spend an extra 2 hours with him. I got really lucky, he had a 5:20 flight so after they left MEPS I was able to spend the day with him. This is honestly the hardest this I have ever been through in my life, but I am coping with it better than I expected. I mean, I still have random moments where I see something, or hear a song that reminds me of him and have breakdowns. Unfortunately, this has happened in public places more than once. We have talked about it before, and we are both completely committed to each other. I mean we haven't been dating long enough to get married, but we have talked about it, and if we are married by the time I am done with college, I will be ready to pack up and go with him wherever he goes. Are there any suggestions to help me get through this a bit better? He doesn't get to go home after basic and is shipped down to SC for A school so he won't be home for 8 months.

[Jennie102311]

Just stay busy! My boyfriend left on the 5th and it was really hard to say bye and the first few days drug by! but we got his box yesterday and his form letter today so that has really helped! well hearing what his form letter said made me tear up but it was just good to hear what he said and know that he is ok! He graduates March 2nd and that is only 49 days so it seems like it's closer than i thought! I'm sure once you get a letter time will fly

[HannahKathryn17]

That's kinda what I thought. I am trying, i mean I have a job, I have been hanging out with my friends, and my college classes next week. The thing about his box and the form letter? It is going to his parents who, for some unknown reason, don't seem to like me. I probably will not get any information or anything until he actually sends me an actual letter. I am trying to patch things up with them. I went to his house to give his mom the pictures we took of him swearing in and of him and his father and she told me he called them and he got there safe and everything. She gave me her number so if I have any questions. I figure I will ask next week if she has gotten any information yet. The hardest part about this, other than his parents disliking me. is the fact that he will be gone 8 months. I probably won't be able to go to his graduation either because 1. I won't get any info from his parents, 2. I will probably still have classes, and 3. I have no idea how I would get up to Great Lakes. Luckily, though, this summer for my birthday, I am going to go down and visit him at A school for a weekend. Goose Creek is about 8-10 hours away from where I live, and I have to pay for the trip. I have over $200 bucks saved already, but I need like at least $500-600 more. I really hope I can do it. 

[Jennie102311]

That's good! My college classes started yesterday so I think that will help me, too! I would really try to get on better terms with his family because you'll want to send him a letter as soon as you get his address. If you have to wait until he actually sends you a letter it could be close to the 4th week he is there but he will be able to receive mail from home before then. Just text his mom sometime next week and ask if she received his form letter yet. I would hope that she would be willing to give you his address since it would more than likely make her son very happy to get a letter from you! Maybe if you get on better terms with his family then you will be able to go to graduation! I'll still have class too (my bf grads march 2nd) but I'm just going to have to miss one day so it's not a big deal. That's good you will get to visit him in A school though!!

[HannahKathryn17]

So I actually found his recruiter on Facebook and asked him for his address. He said that he wouldn't have it until at least Tuesday, but he would send it to me when he does. I have written to him everyday since he left and from what I hear, mail for guys in basic is pretty much a lifeline and something they forward to. I just figured I would send him stuff as soon as possible even if he can't send me stuff yet. His family is really odd. His dad was in the Navy for 26 years is is really strict and kind of a jerk. His mom is from the Philippines and is seems nice, but isn't very sociable. Its an odd situation.  

[Jennie102311]

Yeah I would ask again Tuesday! He should have it then! I got my bf's address from his recruiter about 6 days after he left! His form letter came exactly a week after he left! But yeah send him letters as soon as you get his address! They will receive letters from home before we get any from them is the way i understood it! Hopefully his mom will open up to you and be more sociable!

[Jo (Wife of an ET Radioman)]

I remember getting Matt's form letter. I still cry every time I read it.

[sailorwifenmom]

Here's a couple of suggestions that have helped get me through deployments and various separations over the yrs:

1) As has been mentioned, stay busy!  Remember, you have a couple of choices.  You can stay busy, set and work towards goals for yourself, spend time with friends, etc, and you're still going to miss your Sailor, but you aren't dwelling on it, or you can sit around and be miserable, staring at the clock, the calendar, the computer, phone and mailbox, etc., and you can be miserable.  Either way, they are still going to be gone just as long, only one is going to make the time seem to go faster (and  make you a happier, more interesting person), and the other is going to make it seem like it's taking 3 times as long (and doesn't make them write, call, email any sooner).....

2) Remember, whether it's 8 days, 8 weeks, or 8 months, there's no real good that comes from dwelling on how long it's going to be.  After all, you can't take it all on in one chunk - each day only has 24 hours, each hour only has 60 minutes, and you can only get through THIS minute, THIS hour, and THIS day at a time.  Deal with (and think about) next week, next month, when it's here.  You just have to get through being separated NOW, at this moment, and  you can handle anything for an hour.... 

3) When it DOES get to be too much, and sometimes it will, it's ok to let yourself have a good cry.  Just don't get all caught up in that, or caught up in feeling sorry for yourself over it, that's a dangerous path go start down.  As silly as it might sound, I find showers to be very helpful.  When it gets overwhelming, I go and take a shower, as hot as I can stand it, and I just cry.  It's warm, it's private, the water is soothing, and I can just cry.  Then, as the water starts to cool off (lol, yes, sometimes they are very long showers...), then that's my sign to turn the water off, literally and figuratively.  I've had my cry time, now it's time to get out of the shower and DO something.  Clean out a closet, go to the library, take the kids to the park, call a friend to go to dinner, etc...

Anyway, these are some of the things that have helped me over the yrs.  I hope some of it helps you, too.

[EmilyDanielle(12/074)]

My boyfriend left on December 14th for Great Lakes. That last day with them is really hard. Having to turn around and walk away is just the worst. :( The first 2 weeks are the hardest because you know nothing and you're just waiting for a letter. After that it gets easier! Now to hurry up and wait :)

[Jennie102311]

What day did you get your first letter from him??

[cjegge2238]

My boyfriend graduated from Great Lakes on Dec 2nd last year. Him being away was probably one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. I am in college too so classes helped me stay busy and I wrote him every single day, but only sent the letters out like twice a week. His mom got his address like a week after he had left but I didnt recieve any letters from him until about three weeks in. They have their mail held from them sometimes, but just keep the letters coming no matter what. Like you said, they are a life line to them! I had my down moments quite a bit and as mentioned before, sometimes a good cry is just what you need, but dont dwell in that moment and feel sorry for yourself. Trust me! It just makes the situation so much harder. I was able to go to my boyfriend's graduation, but I had to rearrange my finals schedule. He is now in San Antonio for A school and I plan on going out there to visit him on my spring break. Good luck to you and I am more than happy to answer any questions you have!! :)

[EmilyDanielle(12/074)]

I got my first set of letters on the 30th of December, And that was 17 days after he left. 

[Jennie102311]

AWESOME! My bf left the 5th.. I'm really hoping to get a letter at the end of this week!