Boyfriend Leaving for Bootcamp Tomorrow

[SimplySimi23]

Hello friends, my boyfriend is leaving for bootcamp tomorrow. I'm going to see him swear in tomorrow morning but he has to stay in a hotel tonight so today was essentially his last day. I'm a total mess. He is my best friend, we basically live together etc and this is going to be an enormous change for both of us. It's hitting me really hard. Does anyone have any tips for coping? Please tell me it gets better lol.

[Jackie]

Hey girly! I know exactly how you feel! My husband (then fiancé) went through bootcamp this past. Feel free to message me or we can add each other on Facebook if you'd like. It does get easier i promise!

[EngagedToANavySailor]

It do once you start getting his letter and calls I was a mess for 2 weeks lol but as time went on and getting his letters and a phone call it got really better

[Bronco14]

You've got this! Looking back on it now, bootcamp was such a short time and relatively simple. I know at the time it will seem like forever and it will initially be very difficult to adjust. While my bf was at bootcamp, I kept myself very busy- I'm talking full-time summer school student and working 40 hours a week kind of busy lol. I also took like 3 trips to see my family and visit with them. It took my mind off it and really helped. Also, write him every single day! It was relieving to be able to write and tell him about everything and anything that was happening in my life. Ultimately these 2 months will cruise by. You will get through it and reuniting with your love at his graduation will seriously be the best! Your relationship will grow even stronger, and he is bettering himself. Just keep those positive things in your mind as much as possible and you will get through it. Also, keep a countdown for PIR that you can change every day. It'll make you excited everyday to watch that number go down :) best of luck!

[blueberry_munchkins]

Thank you so much for this advice, I was worried about my boyfriend too because he just left yesterday (March 28, 2017) for bootcamp, and he made the last call to me, I don't know what to feel before he goes in to the airport gate on his way to Chicago. I was freaking out and kinda bit sad because we'll be far away from each other in two months but on the other side I kept thinking that two months is not that bad and it will go away fast. 

[lizzylou191]

Write EVERY day! My fiance is graduating this week and if I learned anything this past 8 weeks, it was that being without my best friend was hard, and none of my silly college friends understood it. He, and this group of family members and loved ones, are the only people who truly know what it's like, and writing him about anything and everything is the best medicine. I let myself cry or be sad whenever I needed to, but make time for things you like. For me, that was rewatching seasons 1-4 of Grey's Anatomy! Lol. It's time consuming as wel as enjoyable, and makes the time, especially evenings, go by fast. 

[SimplySimi23]

I already planned on writing every day so I'm glad that so many people do it haha. I have a couple friends with loved ones in the military so some of them understand but most don't. I will definitely be binge-watching shows in the evenings because that's when I'll be sad. I don't have time to be sad during the day, fortunately.

[EngagedToANavySailor]

I watch all the vids we had together and his pics and just knowing it's for the best but when you get that letter you will feel 10× better

[Ladybug613]

It does get better, I promise!!!! My husband left for bootcamp on Feb 10 and the first couple of weeks were horrendous!! I had no clue how I was going to get through them!!! The turning point for me was his first "real" phone call (after the I'm here one) and letters...just because I knew at that point he was ok and settling in nicely.  You'll get through this, I promise.  This site is a wonderful resource for you!!  If you ever want to vent or anything just message me, seriously, we can talk it out!!!  I understand what you're going through..we all do!  It's not easy but I swear you can do this!!!  We are all here for you!!!  I write to my husband every single night before I go to bed...I pretend I'm talking to him and just let the words pour out onto the page. It helps me (and him!)  And send him photos often (in good taste, of course!) he will want to see your face! Lol...my husband just told me I have to get used to taking selfies (I'm not a selfie person) because he misses my face lol!  Keep busy, just keep going, clean, organize, paint pictures, scrapbook...just keep doing things!!  Find shows to binge watch on Netflix (never underestimate the power of a good show to take your mind off the sadness) The time will go by faster than you think, trust me!!!  Hang in there...your man needs you!

[SimplySimi23]

Thank you I really needed that!!!! I plan on writing him every day before bed, starting tonight. He put on a brave face when we said goodbye this morning but I know it's going to be so hard for him and he's going to need me haha

[kmt1994]

My husband left for boot camp 2 weeks ago and I basically stayed crying the first few days lol. The first week went sooooo slow and it's just now starting to go by faster. I write him letters at least every other day and that seems to help. It definitely gets better but the first few days....ugh they are rough.

[Lizzie_Corpsmanwife]

Mine was the first two weeks girl. They were super tough

[Allison]

Start writing now and send them in a large envelope when you get his address. It'll give you something to do and lift his spirits when he gets all of them. It's okay to tell him you miss him, but make sure you include positives as well. Even when things weren't going very well for me, a hard day or difficulties at home, I would just tell my fiancé stories about our kittens that I knew would make him laugh.

Another thing that helps is to get creative and get into his interests. My fiancé is really into basketball and a PS4 game called 2k. Every morning I recorded all the NBA scores and news on a small card and also made 2k picks for who I thought would win because every correct pick earned him coins. I knew nothing about basketball other than the basic rules, so I had to do a lot of research to make winning predictions. It also made me feel closer to him because I knew it was something he cared about, it helped him start up conversations with his shipmates, and he was so excited when he came home with 25k coins for his videogame haha.

They're not allowed to have a lot at basic but you can send small pictures or draw some. They're also allowed an address book. I took up my spare time at home to combine these into a handmade address book. I constructed pocket pages and printed messages from his friends on the outside, their contact info, and inside the pockets were pictures they sent me. I handsewed the binding and stamped the leather cover. He read it every night in basic, and even though it was a bit of a mess to begin with and is kind of starting to fall apart, he loved it and still keeps it in his desk at A School. He won't even give it back for me to redo the leather covering haha.

I was not a super hands-on creative before my fiancé left except for my music, and don't worry if you're not either. It's just a very constructive way to channel your emotions and take your mind off him being away. It changed the experience into something much more positive for me because I developed new skills, like how to avoid stabbing myself with a needle and which paints will stain my clothes forever, and I constantly had new things to be proud of even when work was slow or something. He'll be proud of anything you make him, or you might prefer to do it just for yourself. I highly recommend experimenting with art even if you're like me and didnt even realize how many kinds of paper there are out there, it's a great time to experiment and learn. If arts and crafts really isn't your thing, try working out, a community class, or volunteering, or like someone else said…binge some Netflix.

Another fun thing to do is learn what your sailor is learning. My fiancé really appreciated and still appreciates how little he has to explain and loves that he can share some Navy jokes with me. For him, it was a big shock joining the outside world for a weekend after basic, and it saved him a lot of stress trying to translate with me. He really appreciated that I knew what he was talking about, and when he got tired of explaining every acronym or term to his friends, I could give him a break and take over. It also makes things fun now since he doesn't have a whole lot to talk about on hold, he tries to stump me. You can't know every rule or anything, but you can learn the terminology, the uniforms, the chain of command, rankings, rates, core values, and a lot of navy common knowledge. It'll save you time in phone calls too if you want to know what he's talking about without having to ask him to pause and explain. It'll also help you feel included when he has to go out with liberty buddies during A School.

Most importantly, keep looking forward. Of course, it's also important to aknowledge the feelings you have now, but things are a lot easier and the two months go by way faster if you find positive things to channel your energy into. However, the first few days, you have every right to buy a whole bunch of junk food, grab a fluffy blanket, and cry through movies even if it's a horror movie, and it doesn't make sense why you'd be crying. Just remember to get out and see your friends or chat with us on here once in awhile. It's good that you're here to build a bigger support system because the people on here are great. Every time I panic, they've been here to answer my questions and calm me down. I absolutely love this website, and I hope you find it to be just as helpful.