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Hi Ladies...what would you do if while your sailor was away at training you discovered he had been unfaithful to you before he left?

My Husband and I have been together for 6 years. Admittidly this past year has been the one from hell for us both!! And I did find out he was having an affair over the span of about 8 months. We saw a councelor, he ended it with the other woman, and we recommitted to each other that we were back in the marriage 100% before he left... We were going to look forwared and move on together. Especially as he was leaving for training, and was never going to see this other woman again.

Now I find out that over the course of our relationship there was not 1 woman...but 5.

What would you do?

I am not filing for divorce or anything like that...but I need to address this somehow with him. I need to know that it was a phase and that going forward it will never happen again...if he says that and means it I am pretty sure I can stick with him and forgive him one last time. I NEED him to say that. But my problem is, I am just not sure what the best way to do that is, since he's without phone access until March and we wont physically SEE each other again until August. I just cant wait that long...

I should also mention that while I know he shouldnt be stressed at this time, and ideally its not quite the subject for a letter...I am also pregnant. And for the health of our baby I cant be sitting here stressed and crying either...and his next phase of training is much more rigorous..So I feel like if Im going to say something it would better to say it sooner rather than later.

What would you do?

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Replies to This Discussion

Maybe your husband didn't take the correct info with him, so it didn't get done.  That can happen.  

MEPS makes sure they have all their required paper work before they ship you off...

I thought that was the case.  Very strange, maybe the place she's going to has proof and ID requirements? Some bases do, I know the Army facilities are a pain in the ass.

So he has cheated on you before...with that you know of at least 5 women and you have forgiven him...now he is in bootcamp and will be going to "A" School...where there are LOTS of single women!...you will not be seeing him until Aug and he finishes bootcamp in Feb....umm...once a cheater....

 

Recommend you find a good lawyer in case you need it for divorce...also while he is in "A" School...make sure that you get ALL the housing money!  Don't let him tell you he needs the money for ______ it is EXTRA money JUST for an apt..which he won't get while in "A" School as he will be living in the barracks while you are back at home! 

 

So you are going to sit there and stress yourself out instead of talking to him when you can...dang write it down so when he does call you can tell him!  He needs a reality check from you

Once is a mistake. Five times, is disrespectful beyond comprehension. Men don't change. If they can cheat once they can cheat again and again. I got back together with an ex after he cheated in me, and I turned into someone I didn't like. I was jealous and insecure. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I am going to apologize for being harsh but if I was you I would walk away right now. You're just going to keep getting your heart broken over and over again.

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