Candid discussion about cheating...

[Amac23]

I have been wanting to post this question, but hesitant about it, as no one seems to be concerned about it. But here goes:

My husband is in BT, PIR 4/6, and then he is on to San Antonio. We live in SoCal. He went in as a reservist, but I already know that he is going to go active. I want to support him fully. It's a noble venture and great life experience.

However, wherever he goes- I won't be following. My daughters need stability, so I won't move them. And I own my own dance studio, so I am tied down here.

Am I the only one who worries and struggles with the concept of him being faithful? To give some backgroud: We've known each other since Jr. High. We were great friends first and are very happily married. This is no cheating or drama involved in our relationship at all. But I am of the philosophy that anyone is capable. It's those that swear they could 'never' stray that I find worrisome. Fact is, humans are human, and being away from your spouse for long periods of time with no physical or emotional interaction is a real strain. Coupled with the ol' cliche' of having ready and willing woman waiting around when they reach ports..well...I get a little antsy.

I'd love to hear people's thoughts, especially those wives that have been through this for a while.

[Angie]

oh...if we want to talk about the "A" Schools...dang I was staff in the barracks in Great Lakes...I used to watch them all get cozy on the smoke deck (than I had to be the big bad EN1 and go tell them to break it up), than I knew dang well they where going out in town and getting a hotel.  Hotel parties are soo bad that JAG and the command XO go out to the hotels ever weekend to try and break it up.  Yea...if you have someone in Great Lakes and they say they have never heard of a hotel party...they are lieing to you.

 

Also the LPO (ASSJACK) I am sorry to say that stuff happens everywhere...I have seen people careers trashed (as they should be!) for fooling around with a student.

 

Have seen the Sailor sign out with a cute little girl..who I hear about latter is his girlfriend from home...than the next weekend he is going out with some other little girl who is all decked out and you know they are hooking up.

 

 Or the Sailors who have gotten another Sailor prego, and you find out that Sailor has a hometown girl and doesn't know what to do..

 

Want me to go on???

 

 

[MySailorIsAwesome]

EXACTLY!!!

For a civilian, I apparently have a better sense of military decorum then a lot of these sailors. My family has served Army, Air Force, Marines and Navy, some with distinction.

Youth really isn't an excuse...you signed the contract, understand what it entails. Military decorum includes your personal AND professional bearing, including how you conduct romantic relationships. Especially if those relationships are in plain sight of other sailors.  DOUBLE if you have a position of responsibility. Problem is the idea of the Navy as duty and honor is lost in favor of Navy as a last alternative to college or a job...basically what you can get, not how you can serve!. LPO Assjack (formerly Awesome) clearly hasn't given a thought to his career...if the CO or Master Chief at METC notes this activity, it's ALL bad for everyone.

 

He just told me about a RECENT hotel party where the San Antonio police arrived to a room full of beer cans, weed smoke and sailors jumping the fence and running away with LPO DumbAss (Formerly Awesome) and others covering for them. A total scandal! Just hope he doesn't get that 19 year old preggers or gets an STD...ew. He has a responsibility to be an example, not fall into the mistakes of 18 year olds when you're a 30 year old LPO!

 

The cheating thing is selfish, silly and immature. But my real concern is directed to women/men with families or long-term investment into their relationships. It can really destroy families, distract our sailors from optimally performing and introduce morale and personal problems in the units.

 

As for me, my social circle and career in DC aren't condusive to these antics...I keep it classy lol. So I'm actually glad to be rid of LPO Trashy (formerly Awesome) if this is how he conducts his life. I do appreciate the comments and support from you ladies and for Amac23 being brave enough to ask a question many are afraid to. Class acts all around!

[Colleen (Ship12, DIV126)]

Thank you for asking this question!  

My husband is also currently in BT, PIR 4/20, and he is going to San Antonio for MA.  We live is SoCal as well and he signed up to be a reservist.  We have three little ones.  We've been together for almost 9 years now and are happily married.  

I agree with you... Humans are humans ... and I also have the same concern...  The night before he left we were in downtown San Diego. He was waiting to be processed and was sitting with a group of future sailors..  One of them noticed my husbands wedding ring and said "Hey! Different area codes, different rules".  My husband said, "it's not like that for me".  The guys immediately stopped talking to him.... my husband thought it was funny.  I didn't think it was so funny...I thought , "oh great! it's already happening and he hasn't even left yet!"

 I think and hope they just find guys who are like them and are in the same "boat", with wife and kiddos... Hopefully they can support each other through it and stay out of trouble... or at least thats what i keep telling myself ; ) 

[lexievelyn8179]

I've actually been wondering about this myself.

My fiance and I are getting married April 27th, then he starts BT in July. We're high school sweetheart who've been together for 5 years straight. The most amount of time we've spent apart were a couple of 2 week periods, so I'm trying not to freak out too much and be supportive of him.

However, the closer and closer we get to him getting shipped to basic, the more I start to worry about the possibility of him cheating. Rationally speaking, I really don't think he will. He's one of those that really looks down on guys and girls who cheat on their significant other. However, he can sometimes be a little naive about things, and oftentimes he can give people the wrong impressions about his intentions. When I say wrong impressions, sometimes others think he's flirting with them when he's not, or think he's coming on to them when he's definitely not.

So, I guess I'm more worried about him getting into a sticky situation than outright cheating, if you know what I mean.