Cheating

[NavyDoll Ebony]

Ok, im not sure if this question has ever been asked, but im just curious to know. Have any of u navy spouses/significant others ever cheated on your sailor? Be honest.

[AshleySuperfly]

It's opposite for me - I'm terrified he's gonna cheat on ME.  Haha  I mean, he's on a ship...and there are girls there...however he's told me it's a huge no no to hook up with girls on the boat, so that puts my mind at ease.  However, I'm sure some of his stops on deployment...where he's able to get a little rest and leave the boat...will contain women...who are probably gorgeous...I freak.  Honestly.  But I know if I constantly freak out, I'll drive myself crazy about it.  He's been cheated on before, so he knows how it feels and I'm hoping he'd never do it to me.  Also I could never do that, especially with him being deployed.  That's LOW. 

[Anti M]

Hundreds?  Even on a carrier, that isn't realistic.  The Navy hands out birth control and protection like candy.  I'd say a few dozen at the very, very most. 

Although I do know most of the married folks on the ships can't wear their rings for safety, so sometimes no one asks too hard about who is supposedly committed and who is not.   And yes, sex in a gear locker (cleaning closet) is not unheard of.  My hubby knew a guy who had sex in the walk in freezer!!!!!  And their friends' attitudes are important, if they hang out with party animals. they have a better chance of being lured into bad situations.  

Female sailors aren't much different than regular women, just usually in better shape, and motivated, often smart.  Gorgeous?  No more than any group of average women, in fact, those uniforms are not flattering, and no one wears make up at sea, or does anything fancy with their hair.  In fact, no one has much spare time, they are kept busy on purpose.  Lots of men do make friends with their female shipmates and it stays just that, friendly.  I still have guy friends from the Navy.  But yeah, I  did marry a sailor I worked with.  We had both just gotten divorced, so people assume the worst.  No, we met just after we'd both dumped dumb, fat, lazy spouses.  

I was a sailor, I know it happens.  Whether or not it happens to you is very much an individual thing.  

[AshleySuperfly]

That's really helpful, thank you!  I don't think he'll cheat on me, I really don't.  Being female though, it puts it in the back of your head for sure.  He told me about two people that got caught having sex on the ship and they were both discharged, so I'm fairly certain he doesn't want to risk losing his job, much less losing me lol

[sailorwifenmom]

Exactly!

[Yoana]

Haha I was the same when he would tell me what port he was at I would freak and thought would start running threw my head :/ all the what ifs and bad stuff but I stopped all that I was only making myself sad and angry and would start arguments with my husband for no reason. Yup sad lol but I know he wouldn't cheat and I wouldn't and that whole girls on the ship thing that too freaked me out but hey what can you do tell my husband to not work with them lol I learned to trust him just wait for him to be home he has enough to deal with work and all the being away stuck in a ship stuff to have to deal with a wife at home that goes crazy everytime he hits a port lol

[Ryansgirl12/148]

No. My sailor and I are very faithful to each other. We are high school sweethearts and trust each other, I can't wait to see my love in 19 days <3

[Yoana]

I have never cheated on my sailor and he has never cheated on me. Yes I understand its hard to be with out your husband and very lonely. And yeah a kiss to you might not be so bad but trust me your husband will go crazy if he knew:( I know if my husband had kissed another lady I would freak out. The best thing to do is be honest tell him even tho you are gonna be risking alot. Its best to get it out now instead of letting it eat you up inside. And stay away from situations that will lead to anything like that! Lol I don't go to clubs or bars without my husband and he's the same. Just hold on I know its lonely and sometimes a hug is needed but once your husband is home every moment you have waited will be worth it :)

[Mrs LaLa]

No I have never cheated and my sailor also has not cheated! We both have had that happen In the past and trust is so important! Once you have the one you need to realize no one can compare to that person and once you cheat it breaks trust! I wish you the very best of luck and hope for the best!

[Angie]

When I was in San Diego, I would see the ships pull out and the wifes and girlfriends on the pier crying and waving to them...wearing nice outfits and all. 

 

Well that night when I would be in the club I would see some of those same women in going out clothes dancing and grinding with men that where not their husbands as they had just got underway. 

 

IT HAPPENS!  Weather people want to say they do or act like they are all good and everything.

 

Than those same women would be at the family support group meetings talking about the rumors their husbands had told them about who is screwing around with who on the ship.

 

Be real...what ever happens in the civilian sector happens in the USN also...so YES some people do cheat.

 

[sailorwifenmom]

This is it exactly!

My husband and I have been married just shy of 20 yrs.  I haven't ever cheated on him, and I believe him when he says he's never cheated on me.

The Navy is just like anywhere else, there are people who cheat (whether they are the Sailor or the spouse), and there are those who never do. 

The ones who cheat fall into 2 categories - those who made a one time mistake, and those who are serial cheaters.  In both cases, some of them are discovered, and some aren't, and of the ones discovered, sometimes they work things out, and sometimes it's the end of the relationship.

It sounds like your Sailor made a mistake, and that you also made a mistake.  I'm not bashing either of you, because we're all human, and we all make mistakes, even if we don't all make the same ones.  But, I would encourage you to look into the marriage classes that someone mentioned previously, because there are going to be temptations, and there are going to be lonely times, and you do have to have trust in the relationship, and be able to handle those times, and to have faith in yourself and in your spouse on how they are going to handle those times, if you want to have a successful Navy relationship. 

Marriage classes can help you both work on those things that have opened yourselves / your relationship up to being at risk of cheating, and can make you both stronger, together and as a couple.

Good luck to you both! 

[Craig]

Two ways to kill a marrage:

Cheatin' & Beatin'........  

[jazzelle29]

Craig...if N4M had a "like" button I would've clicked it :)