Does anyone else feel like a chore?

[TiredV]

I know I shouldn't complain. I know in my head that he is working hard. Trying to make a future for himself and for us. He is doing something noble and worthy. But my head and heart are not on the same page. I am trying my hardest to get this move done. But Im still so lost. We finally got his offical orders and now I can look in earnest for a place. But I still feel so lost and when I for him for his input he tells me that Im just going to have to figure it out because he is busy. Im terrified of making a wrong move and screwing everything up. Am I just being selfish and silly? Probably. Just hope I am not alone.

[Anti M]

Moving is damn difficult under the best of circumstances, and you're handling a difficult move on your own while trying to go through new to you procedures. Of course it is a chore, but a chore of love.  Yes, he is busy, but he should listen when you vent, and never be critical if he left it all up to you!

Your feelings are quite normal, and venting them quite acceptable.  If he can't hear you just now, you'r right to vent here or to friends in private.

Sometimes the frustration and confusion are the price you pay for the good life when you get settled in.

Hey, this move will not kill you.  You will make the best decisions you can, and it will work out.  It isn't like you'll end up in Mexico when you were just trying to move to the east coast!  Your stuff won't be shipped into limbo (at least not forever).  

Tell him you love him, act all confident and smart, and smile a lot.  You can do this!  Fake it until you make it!

[sammy]

i think that is the best advice "Tell him you love him, act all confident and smart, and smile a lot.  You can do this!  Fake it until you make it!" thank you, because i needed it!

[Destinee :)]

He needs to help out... Whether he's there or not.

Don't stress out though! He could of had a hard and stressful day.

I don't think your being selfish or silly. Your not alone!

[Anti M]

BTW, you're doing something noble too.  Never doubt that the Navy spouse is not doing her part!

[TiredV]

Thanks, good to know Im not alone. Everyone on here has been so helpful and nice. Every time I have a question everyone is quick to help me out. Im trying to take it a step at a time but I just want it done now. Thanks again!

[Anti M]

Hey, when it is all done, you can write it up as a blog here, and then help the next new wife.

[meagan5220]

My hubby sort of started out the same way, he didnt want to deal with all the Navy stuff and it confused and frustrated him! There are groups on here for moving and probably your new command or state that can be helpful also a lot of facebook pages that are helpful, ... one day I had a little itty bitty tiny freak out... and he finally realized that a) I needed some help or direction and b) the navy could help in certain ways if we just asked. I got the starting info from him and here, had him call and email a few people he gave them my contact information and I have been slowly taking it from there... Its hard and when I have questions I ask him and here and if no one knows I MAKE him ask someone above him who knows or can point him in the right direction, before he would never ask them, also I got connected to my ombudsman and people already at the command who can help because they have done it or they can point you to the right office! When you find out that office have questions you want answered and make sure they answer them!!

 

Another good site is militaryonesource and you can google the base and use their site as well! At first I was petrified and confused... and I am still confused a lot of days but through reserach I found a ton of people that can help me! :)

[Marla]

TiredV, I feel you.  I am in the same boat right now, except with 12 years of Navy wifedom under my belt.  We're PCSing mid-deployment, so I have to do it all while he's gone...with the kids out of school too.  We have his orders, but we're still waiting on his current command to give him his "official" detachment date...all his orders say is "when directed in August".  Please, by all means, feel free to vent.  As to him helping you, he may or may not be able to. Right now, hubby's ship has internet about an hour a day I think.  And he's working about 18-20 hours a day while he's underway, so I know he'll write me when he can.  If you have any move questions feel free to message them to me and I'll try to help you as much as I can with them.  And if you just need to vent, you can do that too.  :)

[sammy]

I feel that exact same way! My husband put everything on my shoulders and wants me to make all of the phone calls etc on getting our move started. I am used to making decisions together! So i also have the fear of doing something wrong! I think that he is trying to prepare me for this life though, because there will be times when he is deployed and i will have no choice but to make decisions on my own. It is a very tough transition though, and i know your pain. You can do it though, you just have to be strong and have faith and hope in yourself!