Experienced navy wives

[Anna]

Hello everyone. My fiancé just graduated bc on the 24of may. He is currently at ft Meade for A school and we plan on getting married by the end of June. My question is what do wives of sailors usually do while their husbands are working. Do you work? is it possible to hold a steady job since we will mostl likley be traveling alot. Do you stay home with the kids or go to school. Im really trying to prepare my self for this new life with my sailor and i would like to know what my options are. We will be living together once he is done with A school. Any input or advice is greatly appreciated!

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

You can do whatever you want. Some work, some stay home, some are in school. I'm a stay at home mom, but we decided that's how our family would be before the military was a part of it. If you work and want to continue, go for it. Don't let your husband's career define you or hold you back. There is legislation pending in some states to allow spouses of active duty to transfer professional licenses easier. If you're in school, you may want to consider staying put to finish or look into the transferability of your credits.

[Anti M]

You can find jobs or finish school as a Navy spouse, although a career or advanced degree are much more difficult.

I was overseas, got jobs on base and also taught English. Substitute teacher on base was my main thing, I worked daily. In San Diego, I went to college and had a job in their adult education office.

There is always high demand for reliable childcare near bases, so much so that Family Services provides certification for it (in some areas).

What type of work do you do?

[Anna]

Thank you for your responses. I am currently a student though this will be my last semester because I won't be able to complete the following semester in September since my fiancé will be getting assigned to his permanent duty station around December. There is no doubt about me going to live with him after a school. I did not know it was possible to get jobs on base which would be great. I don't have to work but I would like to even If it's just part time.

[TomatoPotato]

The whole 15 and a half years that my husband and I have been married I have maintained my own professional career.  It is possible to have a career and be a military wife.  My Mom had her own career while my father was in the Navy.  I agree with the ladies that have said not to let your husband's career choice to define you.  It is possible for you to have a career if you and your husband make smart choices about duty assignments together.  There are sailors who have spent their entire careers in San Diego or Virginia Beach.  It can be done but it takes flexibility and communication between the two of you.

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

I completely agree with all that has been said. Spouses of sailors do all sorts of things. I spent the first four years of my husband's career in graduate school to become a veterinarian. Now I work at an SPCA as a veterinarian. Some of my fellow navy spouse friends work- I have other veterinarian friends who are military spouses, some of my friends are realtors, professors, physical therapists, lawyers, teachers, nurses, childcare providers, etc. Some of them chose not to and are stay at home moms or just stay home and take care of the house. You should do what makes you happy AND what works best for you as a couple. I love my career and it gives me fulfillment when my husband is away at sea. It gives me something to focus on when I've not heard from him for awhile. But that's an individual choice. Not every family moves around a lot- we know many navy families who have been in Norfolk or San Diego for 20+ years (due to the large number of both sea and shore jobs available in both locations). Many states are aware of the difficulties military spouses have in transferring professional licenses and will work with you to help you transfer a license, should you chose a profession that requires one.  Many detailers are happy to take into consideration the career of a spouse (although please know, the needs of the navy always come first and they are not trying to be mean if they give your spouse a job where he can't take you or where it would be difficult for you to work).

Look into finishing your school wherever your sailor gets stationed, or perhaps even consider staying and finishing it even if it means moving a few weeks after him. You also need to be prepared for the possibility that he will be stationed where you cannot go (being married does not prevent this). If this happens, having school or a job of your own to focus on can be a big help.  Don't let the fact that you are getting married to the military define what you do. You still need to be happy with yourself. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Anna]

I am learning so much in these few posts already. I was told that because he will be married chances are he will most likely be staying with his family. His recruiter said that he may never get stationed on a ship while on active duty and may never get deployed overseas because the military would rather send the less expensive single sailors. I want to be able to travel with him wherever he gets stationed and I don't want school or work to prevent us from being together. As I said before I don't have to work but I would like to. Thanks so much for your input and advice. This is all still new to me and can get a little confusing.

[TomatoPotato]

This is not true.  Your husband has just as much chance to get deployed on a ship or overseas as a single Sailor. He could easily get stationed in Japan where you would not be able to follow him until he made E-4 (Petty Officer Third Class). If you budget well and live within your means you do not have to work.  The best thing you can do is let go of being in control and settle in to being flexible.  Semper Gumby, always flexible, is the name of the game.

I work because I love my career and the business that I am in.  I also work because my husband and I would never be able to afford our lifestyle without my income.

[UrabissWife]

what is his rate? people who are attached to squadrons are not always on a ship that is true, but they go overseas and are deployed. and unless you guys get married in A school he is still "single" and can get orders overseas. they typically don't send sailors who are E-4 and below with dependents overseas so if he got orders for overseas and is not an E-5 it would most likely be a unaccompanied orders. which means you cannot go with him. :/

[abuon18]

You really don't move that often, maybe every 3/4 years. So it's definitely possible to work or finish school while your spouse is in the Navy! Honestly if you don't have kids, I think working or going to school is a great way to spend your time-otherwise you sit at home most days and go crazy! Especially once he goes on deployment and is gone for 6-9 months at a time, having school or a career will give you something to keep you a little busy.

A lot of spouses I know volunteer full-time- so still 40 hours a week! If you don't want or need to work that's always an option! Where ever you end up there are ALWAYS going to be organizations looking for volunteers! It's rewarding and you can volunteer as many or as few hours as you would like!

[UrabissWife]

I do not work :) im a full time student finishing up my degree. you can get a job if you would like. you wont be moving that much. it should be roughly every 4 years. there are some things that come up and they change a sailors orders. but other than that you most likely will be in one spot :) staying at home and not working,  we have to watch our finances , but we do good. I opted to get my schooling done so I would be done in time for his next orders incase my credits wouldn't transfer. idk what we would do without BAH so we chose not to live in base housing. but I know other wives who make it work living in base housing :) biggest thing if you choose not to work is to financially know you all will be okay :)