First Deployment

[rikki_100113]

Hey all...so my husband is leaving for his first deployments very soon and I am not prepared for this at all. Like I tend not to think about it but then it hits me all at one time. I am not sure what to do with my time or even how to feel during this. I have been making him like these open when letters and writing them it gets harder and harder each time. He is coming home on leave soon but its like I don't want him to because right after that he leave. I just need some advice on what i should do or not do or how to get through this.

[Zozy's girl]

It sounds like he's already away from home since you said that he's coming home on leave soon...so that means you have a taste of what it's like.  This is my first experience with deployment too and I went through the same thing leading up to it. I'd be fine, looking up care package ideas on the net one minute....then I wouldn't want to talk about it, wouldn't let anyone mention it either....and sometimes out of the blue it would hit me so hard it I felt like I couldn't breathe.  The good news is, you'll get through it (atleast I'm pretty sure we will lol) but the bad news is, the cyclone of feelings hasn't changed for me yet though this is only week 2 so I'm sure it gets easier to manage.  There's a lot of great information on here and a lot of amazing supportive people so poke around and you'll see you're surrounded by other women going through the same thing or more veteran SOs giving advice, all of which is comforting to me.  So the how to feel part, well that just depends on the moment and from all the posts here it's pretty unanimous that that is normal.

As far as what to do with your time, just keep doing whatever you normally do...the busier you are the less time you have to dwell on his absence.  Some days I'm pretty good about that, some days I find myself googling 'I miss you' pictures.  I'm pretty sure my guy has a limit on how many sad faced cats he wants to see so I mostly keep them to myself.  Mostly   =)

One thing I would suggest is getting in touch with his Ombudsman so you're on the mailing list.  That way you know you'll have another source for information or just another support while he's gone.  In 2 weeks, we've gotten 3 emails from ours which is great cause you'll be watching your in box I'm sure.

I know myself pretty well in regards to emotionally charged moments, and he does too...so we sort of said our goodbye about a week before he left so it was far enough removed that I was able to say the things I wanted to say without losing half of it sniveling or forgetting something because I was in emotional overload.  That made the last week easier for me, because we'd already said everything we wanted to say and could just enjoy the time without being maudlin. 

Pinterest has a lot of great ideas from military wives and gfs for things to send your hubby while he's away, planning my care packages gives me something concrete to do which is something I need almost as much as he does  lol  I'm probably rambling now...my guy always says I talk to much lol...but if you need someone to talk to, feel free to shout at me because it's a learning experience for me too  =)

[rikki_100113]

Yea we have been living in two different states he wanted me to stay with my family and friends given that he was going to be deploying soon. So we made that decision. And I work as well but sometimes the work is not enough. I guess we will just have to see where this takes us and for me to keep my head up.

[Zozy's girl]

Yep, that's pretty much the way it goes I think.  No matter how much you fill the time, he'll still pop into your head every time something makes you laugh, or cry or you instinctively want to share it with him.  Those on submarines have it tougher apparently, my sailor's on a frigate so he has more flexibility with email so far.  You have a lot of support here on the forums here though as so many of us are going through the same thing.

[Lovemyseabee]

Hello! My husband and I have been married have only been married for a little over one year...1 1/2. Anyway, before that we were together for 2 years and all of this time he had been on shore duty. Soooooo....the Navy sends him away to Bahrain this past September for a year. This is an IA thing and he is on a base over there...not a ship. He has been Navy for 16 years so he has done lots of deployments and such, this is my first time and it is killing me! I miss him terribly. It will be 5 months soon and in the beginning everyone kept saying that it gets easier. I want to know when. He is my best friend and we do everything together. So anyway, I basically spend my days cleaning the house, walking, exercising, doing my online schoolwork for college degree, watching movies, volunteering, and going to a Bible study. I find when I sit and think about the time...it seems like a day is forever. But when I look back from September to now, its almost February...it really has been going by fast. I just can't wait til he gets home in September. We are then headed to DC for 3 years. A new adventure for us :) but at least he will be here in the United States with me! I send him care packages, letters, cards all the time. He does enjoy getting them. I just throw in silly stuff sometimes that I know he likes. He could actually FaceTime me or email everyday but he doesn't because he has a very long stressful day at his job and he gets tired of being on the phone and looking at computer screens so he face times me every few days or so. It kills me waiting to hear from him, but it helps him to not be stressed so he can just go home and relax. So anyway, I'm here to talk with ya'll too. Let me know if you have any good ideas for time spending and how you are dealing with them being gone. Take care!

[Proud Navy Girlfriend]

I made my sailor the "open when" letters too! Just do stuff you love and don't forget to take care of yourself! It gets easier!!