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First Deployment..Frustrated and Confused
My husband just found out his orders for his first deployment. JAPAN...REALLY?!
I do not understand what i am suppose to do from here. Do me and my daughter go with him?? or Do we stay here with family and friends while he is gone for 2 years. This is my first experience of this magnitude. Boot camp was nothing for me, so I need some words of encouragement....I am scared and nervous about the whole thing.
Views: 215
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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you said deployment...than you said for 2 years. Deployments are not for that long.
Deployments are when the ship goes out to sea for a few months and than go back to their home port.
New duty staiton is for years.
If he is going on a deployment, you do not go with him.
If Japan is his new command, again you do not go with him. He has to get over there and request command sponsorship for you to go over there...BUT if he is E4 or below, odds are it will not be approved for you to move over there. Than you stay where you want to in the USA.
Where you married before he got to school...or ???
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Permalink Reply by Whitley'sWife on
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I heard deployments aren't that long. I think the longest I heard deployments last was 8 months. But I would definitely go if I was able to.
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wifes and GF's don't go on deployments...FYI...there is a ship right now on deployment that will be out for 12 months.
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Permalink Reply by Sw33tTee826 on
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I mean that his neew station is japan and he is going on deployment frm there. He is suppose to b in japan for 2 years. I have to stay here..I don't know how to handle the situation. Like I said im new at this
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I understand where you are coming from with being new at this, I am too. I'm just learning as I go. Talk to your Sailor and get more details.
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I have and he chose japan himself.
I asked him did he have n e other choice and he said that he did but chose japan becuz it will help him advance n his job as a boatsmans mate -
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O wow. I don't know what I would do. I'd just stay on him about what your options are as far as going over there if you are able to. The navy has lots of rules and sometimes it can be very frustrating. I wish you and your family the best. :) hopefully it works out for you.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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I was stationed in Japan for a very long time, and also spent years there as a dependent wife. I can answer many of your questions. Unfortunately, the answers are not going to be pleasant for you.
Two years is an unaccompanied tour, so no, you are not going. You may be able to visit if you save up; and he can phone and skype. He will also earn leave days and may be able to visit you once or twice.
You can't just go live with him, for a few reasons. One is Japan is a foreign country, and they have immigration laws just as we do. Without command sponsorship, you can't get the resident visa. The second is money, Japan is flat out far more expensive than anywhere in the US.
The good news is he will get money to send to you for your rent and utilities while you stay behind, that you will receive Family Separation Pay, and that you will keep all your benefits. I know, small consolation. It is a good sign he really wants to do well, after Japan, he probably can pull a very good duty station where you can be together.
You can do this. How old is your child? Very young children are flexible and your daughter will take her cues from you. So you must act strong and positive in front of the kid even when you feel low. There are many good ways to help her still feel close to her father.
I know how hard it can be, the first two years of my marriage, I saw my husband for only 28 days total... and we didn't have the internet or cell phones, just letters and the rare phone call. I empathize completely.
Where in Japan? And do you have any other questions?
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Yeah I do...
he is going to b stationed in yokosuma japan
my daughter is 9 months old and will b a year when he leaves. I am feeling so low even now and he hasn't even left yet. Im afraid he will drift apart in feelings...and Camille wont know how he is.
Im hoping that nothing changes between us most def. Im scared he will lose feelings for me.
Im nervous he will get hurt. Im just afraid. I know I have to be strong for my daughter..but its frustrating they would send him somewhere I can't go. -
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Ah, Yokosuka. (pronounced Yo-ko-ska) Good news is that it is nearer major cities such as Tokyo and Yokohama, making visits simpler.
Most children can't remember much before the age of three, so she should be just fine. Really, my dad was gone a lot when I was tiny, and I don't remember that at all.
He won't lose his feelings for you, just like boot camp, they may well grow stronger. My husband and I cherish our time together even now after 25 years because we had such a difficult beginning.
Hang in there!
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Permalink Reply by proudnavy11 on
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Hi there! You could move out to Japan but the Navy will not be paying for your housing just yet. He is not going to be gone for 2 years straight of course. He will have leave and if you guys believe that you can work through this you can. For now I would suggest you just live your life with your daughter and raise her the best you can. I know you will miss your husband but i know us Navy Wives can do it! I have been with mine for 3 years now and he is stationed in Japan as well. You can always visit him when your funds allow you to. But since it is just temporary you could save a lot for you and your family if you just visited him and him visited you on his leave. Japan is expensive especially near tokyo. Goodluck to you and your husband. I do not have a daughter so I do not know how to feel for you in that field but all in all I know you can withstand the distance. As long as you guys trust each other and have a strong foundation there is nothing to be anxious about.
-Elizabeth
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