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Boot Camp: Making a Sailor (Full Length Documentary - 2018)
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Getting married while sailor is still in the Navy
Hi everyone! I'm just wondering what your experiences have been as being a girlfriend, then fiancee, then wife of a sailor and how that changes with deployments and whatnot. Originally, when the topic of marriage came up, I told him that I wanted to wait until he was out of the Navy before we would get married. I know there are benefits in pay, but regardless of that, if you got married to your sailor while he was still going through deployments or if you waited till he was out, would you change what you did? Just looking for some advice for the future. Thanks! :)
Views: 143
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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There's an old discussion buried on here.... basically, if you are not a spouse, you don't exist to the Navy. You can't go on base to pick him up after work, if he gets ill or injured and is in the hospital on base, you won't have access to him. If he dies, they'll call his family, and that is not you. He can't live offbase with you until he makes E-5, except informally. The ombudsman and the family readiness group might not want to include you during his deployments, so you'll have to rely on hearing from him or find a spouse who is willing to share official info from the ship.
You might not get to move to his homeport. That simply isn't a matter of having to pay for your own move, if he is sent overseas, you aren't going. A spouse would probably be able to do so.
It is a matter of access to your sailor, not money. And what if he loves it and re-enlists? Many do.
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Permalink Reply by karinabeana611 on
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thanks for the info! :)
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Permalink Reply by andchico on
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i'm so glad you asked this! i was just looking for advise as well ! my bf wants to get married after boot camp, he's 22 i'm 19 and the thought of it kind of scares me...
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If you're not ready, you're not ready. That's okay. If you can get any kind of premarital counseling, or talk to someone you trust, do that. Work out your concerns before you say yes. Money, religion, personal habits, think about it all and talk it over with somebody.
No one is going to like this advice: One thing to keep in mind, boot camp is a mental pressure cooker and the recruits will either distance themselves, or cling to what they know and love from home. So if you weren't talking marriage before boot camp, you shouldn't be talking about it during boot camp. Decide after he gets into A school and relaxes a bit and looks at how things will go now that he's sailor, not a recruit.
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