Having difficulties signing up for housing...

[SMdarling]

Me and my sailor got married on the 5th of july this year, while he was in A school. At first we planned on waiting to live together until he graduated because we thought that he would not be allowed. However we learned that since his A school is over 5 months they would let us sign up for housing and he could apply to live with me during A school. Now it seems since the BAH has not kicked in we can't get on the waitlist until it does. I'm wondering (since I've read the BAH can take 6-8 weeks to kick in) is that based on the date of marriage, the day he put me on his page 2, or the day i was put in the system as his wife and got my ID. I just very recently got my ID, about a week ago, and when I went in they said I wasn't in the system and they weren't supposed to let me put myself in the system (with a POA). I told my sailor this and he said they had told him that he wasn't allowed to put me in himself. Now i'm wondering since I wasn't in the system until about a week ago, is that the day from which i should count the weeks from?

sorry this is so long, i'm just so anxious. I really want to live with him, but if its not going to work I'm going to do another semester of college while I wait and there is a deadline for that...

Thanks for any advice-

[Anti M]

Date of marriage for the money you will receive.  When to start the countdown for when it kicks in?  Date he applied for BAH for you (which is liekly the date he did all the paperwork).   BAH can be frustratingly slow.    You can just go rent an apartment.

[abuon18]

If you are interested in living on base you should apply right away. There's often already a waiting list so by waitin until BAH kicks in to wait to apply you're just prolonging living with him even further. Since base housing takes your BAH directly I don't think it will be a problem that your BAH hasn't kicked in.

[SMdarling]

We have been trying to sign up for housing. Apparently they won't let him sign up for the waitlist until the BAH shows up on his LES, he doesn't have to actually get paid, it just has to show up online. We don't really have the money to rent an apartment, and \ he is only allowed to live with me If we live ON BASE. I really want to hope that it will show up online by the 1st. Then I could be there by the beginning of October, but if it doesn't than moving would almost be silly considering he is done with his A school at the very end of Jan.

I'm just really worried, I've read quite a few times online that people have had to wait up to 10 months for the BAH to show up. Which honestly is completely ridiculous and shows terrible signs in the system

[ashley_christine]

Hey it seems like you are going through kind of what I did. Me and my sailor got married in january and he left in February. Then in April i moved to Texas to be with him and it still hasn't kicked in. It still bases it on which state we got married in. It should be based on Texas standard of living soon. As soon as he puts that he is married BAH is kicked in. Dont worry about anything everything just takes a while to go through thats all. Instead of living on the base you guys should get an apartment off base, its cheaper, trust me. When you live on base they basically take back the BAH as your rent and stuff. If you guys have a car and he puts in a brown bagger chit then he can live with you off base and you guys commute back and forth as if A school is work. But he might have to stay after if he has watch, pt or muster, stuff like that. I was exactly in your shoes, googling everything. good luck

[SMdarling]

So i guess what i'm reading from on here is to never EXPECT the BAH to kick in. Why do they even bother offering it then? I guess if it's not going to kick in within this next month I will just stay here and do another semester of school or something. We can not afford to rent an apartment with what him and i make alone, if we could i wouldn't be worrying about the BAH at all. They won't let him live off base anyway, because he is a student and still has to PT every other morning at like 0430.

I guess I'm just really frustrated, especially because I can't do anything about it. This does not make me look forward to the next few years. I know it should not be taking this long. My father worked in finances in the army for years, he said if they filed the paperwork right it should've appeared on his next paycheck.Also classmates of his have gotten married and moved in to housing already with no problems.

I just really hate how everything i read keeps saying that it's okay that the BAH doesn't kick in for a while, because you get the back pay from the date you got married. Yeah, let me tell that to a landlord and see how they take it...you'll get all the money from when I moved in...in a few months...or so...can't exactly tell you when.

Sorry to take this all out on here, I'm just so frustrated. If they know it's going to come through eventually why can't they let us sign up for the wait list? ...I know, it's a rule,it's not going to change just because i'm complaining... I'm just so stressed out and i can't do anything but complain.

[meagan5220]

I would say never expect anything with the military accept to expect the unexpected. Yea it sucks but its the military. I know I have been screwed over enough times. So yea it def sucks. He needs to go down to PSD or finance or admin and see if the paperwork went through right. If he didnt fill it out completely or filled something in wrong there could be an issue.

 

I know you cant really tell a landlord that you will pay them back later and I am sorry but it all depends on when he turned the paperwork in and if it got processed before this last paycheck was processed. Have you talked to housing about it or has he gone in and talked to them? Ask them if they know if there is a way to speed it up so they can get you on the waitlist. the next paycheck should be posted in like a week so he should know by then on his mypay if it went through or not. I have found sometimes with my sailor its best that I call and ask or if he does I give him a list of questions to ask the way I want them asked so I get the answer I need. lol I tell him don't call me back until they answered all my questions fully.

 

I know my husband filled out the paperwork 3 times because they kept sending it back because they thought he had spelled my name wrong. He finally had to go in and tell them that yes my name actually had an "a" between the "e" and the "g" then it finally went through. I have never heard of it taking 10 months for someone to get BAH unless they didnt do the paperwork right or they were making things confusing by switching up paperwork and stuff.

 

I am sorry its really frustrating dealing with the Navy stuff sometimes. Tell him to go in and find out what is going on I would say is your best bet right now. He might have to ask to talk to someone in charge. or have someone sit down with him and make sure he got every piece of paperwork required filled out 100%. Even not checking a box can cause everything to shut down sometimes. I know its stressful try to relax and take a deep breath. This will be a great learning experience in how to deal with Navy problems. I know that is not even what you want to hear right now. but I am like a super control freak and what has worked best for me is giving my husband the questions I need answered, doing my outside research, and planning like there is no tomorrow. By that I mean I have a plan and I have multiple back up plans and all my plans have subplans that can be interchanged to make a new plan. It really just gives me the feeling of control lol but it makes me feel better.

[SMdarling]

thanks Meagan,

Sorry for overreacting. I know it's only been about a month and a half. I'm just stressing because I do really want to live with him. The only time we've ever been able to see each other every day was last summer. Usually I'm away at school so the idea of living with him is ridiculously tempting.

If it doesn't come in by the end of this month I won't be living with him until Mid-October or November, which I mean, I will take any months living with him that I can, but if it doesn't come in for a while... I am going to feel so stupid for not starting another semester.

Classes start Monday, and technically I can still withdraw up til the next monday but then if it comes in after that it will be so disappointing and i will feel terrible that I didn't just withdraw

[meagan5220]

you are welcome. Its ok. I know we all have those moments. I have once yelled at my husband to put his chief on the phone so I can give him a piece of my mind. When his chief tried to tell him I wasnt allowed to move somewhere haha. That was a bad week for me haha.

 

I understand wanting to live with them I moved with my husband when I knew he would only get to be with me for about 3 months out of 6 due to workups. Its understandable to want to spend more time with him.

 

What are your plans for your schoolin when he gets his first set of orders? I just ask because that can sort of effect your decision. But to be quite honest I would stick with school, but that has always been my focus. Its very important to finish school a lot of people that take a semester off dont go back. Like I said I moved to be with my husband for 6 months. He was about to be deployed for 8 months but if I hadnt finished up with school I wouldnt have moved. I also was close to the end and there isnt a program in the world that is like the one I was in so not much would have transferred anywhere. lol

[SMdarling]

I plan to take about a year off and go back to school when our life is a bit more settled. Right now I feel a lot of doubt in the major I've chosen- I don't think it is right for me or even a smart career- Maybe if i was over zealous and talented in it I would feel different.

I know a lot of people, my family especially, tell me that I won't go back to school after taking time off but I don't really see a reason why I wouldn't- especially if  I'm able to be with him. I like to learn, I especially love lecture classes and my husband really wants to go to college- it's one of the main reasons he joined the military, so he's really supportive of my education. I also plan to never stop educating myself even if i'm not enrolled in a formal educational setting. I just know that I would regret not being with him... I could really get into my reasons, but its a bit overly philosophical. I don't plan on making my job my life, I plan on making my life meaningful and full of love and that is how i prioritize things.

I think I've pretty much decided to just wait and hope the BAH shows up online soon. My parents think its a smart choice also...mostly because they don't think I will be concentrating enough right now and they are afraid that if I don't withdraw and the BAH shows up soon that I will just drop out and waste a bunch of money. I know I wouldn't do that- but I would want to and I'd probably be really angry with myself for not being able to go be with him.

[meagan5220]

Well then a year would be a good opportunity to figure out what you want. Just make sure you make yourself go back. Most people dont want to deal with it and they just get complacent. I would say use the year to maybe volunteer in some different fields that you do like to find out what is best for you! Maybe volunteer in the career field you have chosen. maybe its just all the other life stresses that have made you doubt it mostly just because your brain is overwhelmed.

 

I understand. I loveee to learn! I have two bachelors and a minor lol. They were like umm how many classes have you taken haha. But If you are ever bored if you google online free courses you will find some pretty awesome and weird ones out there. Some taught by Yale, and Stanford and big schools like that. Usually something a little unusal mostly because its a prof teaching something they really want to teach! Dont worry I am super weird about my reasons for stuff lol. I highly suggest reading a book by Viktor Frankl called "Man's Search for Meaning" Especially during your year off. It totally helped remind me why I want to go back and get my masters. I hadnt really forgotten but just gotten a little overwhelmed with it.

 

I would say thats probably a god idea too. Its hard to plan around military like that and you just never know. Plus you guys can always save that money up until he gets out and take a cruise or a honeymoon or use it for a downpayment on a car or whatever it is that you need!