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So lately it's been hard using our time together effectively.  Hence my title, we are both really exhausted by the time we talk to each other. My fiance is in A-school and he's classed up. He's stressed about trying to make sure he maintains his 90 avg. in class. I'm tired because I am reaching the point where I can't get out of bed really. We're at different stages right now so it's tough.

I want him to understand my frustration and he wants me to get his.

I feel like I am failing him a bit in support because I have so much going on with me and I need his support.

Any advice??

Views: 226

Replies to This Discussion

Compermise. No doubt about it you both have to support
Each other. Its not a my way or the high way kind of lifestyle.
There are a lot of things he has to learn but it doesn't mean that once in a while
He can't come over to cuddle you. And at same point he HAS to
do this to set up your future together. Its hard and I know it is. Military
life as a wife is not easy. There will be a lot of times you feel left out
Or alone. A person will tell a joke and you wont get it because its
An inside joke and you'll be doing a lot of asking and he'll have to explain it.
Or you'll ask something and he wont be able to answer you if he has
Security Clarence. It can make you feel like the I dont wanna get out of bed
Blues.... but if you keep your guys finances in place and communicate
As much ad possible you'll do okay. You two wont always click on view points
Or on certain things but thats all couples.

I know I didn't addd enough info about myself. Thank you for giving me advice:)

I know it's tough right now, and of course I don't know all the details the way you do, but it doesn't sound to me like you are failing to support him. It sounds like you BOTH are under stress right now, but you both see it, and aren't so wrapped up in your own stress that you aren't seeing the other ones stress.

That's the difference. If you weren't being supportive, you would be saying something like "HE'S stressed - he should try being pg!" Instead, you're saying that he has stress and so do you. Honestly, that's going to be times where that's going to be common - he's going to be deployed and stressed, you're going to be holding down the fort and stressed. But as long as you both acknowledge that NEITHER of you have it easy, then you can get through it.

Maybe you can make a deal - when you talk, you're going to spend at least 15 minutes on he phone. 5 minutes of it, you get to complain, uninterrupted, about how stressed you are and how hard it is, and he just listens and supports you. Then he gets 5 minutes to do the same (take turns on who goes first). Then, for the rest of the conversation - at least 5 minutes long but if it's longer even better - you talk about the positive stuff - is the baby going to look like you or him, what you're going to do when you visit, that sort of happy couple stuff :-) That way, you BOTH can get support from the other, but you still are staying connected and not falling into the habit of just dumping on each other...

I don't know, this may or may not help, just something to think about. But I do think that the simple fact that you BOTH see each other's stress even in the face of your own is a good thing!

Actually thank you. I never really thought of that, we usually end up trying to talk over each other. I wish I had more to say since you took the time to say so much. Thank you. Finally got the baby's room up and ready to go, now all he needs is a matress so I am excited:)

:-) Just try to hang in there, you're both getting to the home stretch, but you can do it. And that's cool about the baby preparations. Not too long now, and you'll be holding your little guy in your arms!

kind of nerve wracking since I joined this site and then found out I was just a little over 3 months now I am 2 1/2 months away from my biggest experience. I actually just gave this a shot and was pleased with our talk. He told me about his day and I told him about my baby shopping. My concerns so far and I hope I can remember. I also made a 45 min call so he can get some rest. I know he would really stay on for at least 2 hrs but I feel guilty making him tired, especially on PT days. Thanks again:-) Have a wonderful evening sailor

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