How do I do this?

[Layne.Booz]

I met my boyfriend when we were in elementary school.  I always thought that he was the cute older jock that would never look my way.  When we got into middle school i was a track manager.  My boyfriend was the track star.  Always getting gold medals, and always getting the ladies.  I was nothing but someone he could throw his sweats to and i would hold them.  We got into high school and i knew i had no chance.  Who knew that he would be the love of my life.  We ran into each other at Culvers one summer.  He got my number from my friend behind my back.  The next day when i was at my cousins wedding i got a call from the guy i have been falling for since elementary school.  He asked me out for ice cream and a movie.  The next day i was getting ready all day.  I had to look cute.  This is a dream come true.  I was finally in that fairytale.  Well we spent everyday together that whole summer.  He was my boyfriend.  We were together for about a month when he broke the news about joining the seals.  I couldnt help but cry.  He held me in his arms for about an hour telling me everything is going to be ok and that we will get through this together.  I began to focus only on us.  He was leaving in a year.  After awhile i just forgot that he was leaving.  He went to his recruter and found out some big news.  His recruter is leaving in Feb and he wanted to ship my boyfriend out with him.  He is wanting him to leave in 2 months.  I was in shock when i found out the news.  Ever since then all i can think about is how he is leaving and i wont have that person to hold me and assure me that everything will be ok.  I wont have my back bone there to support me through everything.  Recently i have felt very angry at him.  How could he leave me when things are going so great between us.  This could ruin us. I told him how i feel and all he said was if you love me and if you think we can make this work then stop worrying.  I love you and nothing can rip us apart.  We will be delayed not ruined.  How can i get through this? How do i accept the fact that i can no longer run into the arms of someone that protects me and holds me in the worst of times?  He isnt even gone yet.  How will i feel when he is gone? Can anyone help?

[meagan5220]

It will be hard as hell. I am sure no one here will deny you that, and special ops wives I have a special respect for them. BUT know first of all that MANY MANY women have gone before you and have lived to tell the tale. You will grow in ways you never imagined possible, your strength will astound you, and distance, and time only will strengthen a true realtionship. Its scary bc you think not seeing them or touching them means they are not there, but just because someone isnt there doesnt mean they dont love you with all they got. Little things will become more important, like searching high and low for that special candy he wants and then clearing the shelf. Holidays will be hard but when they are here you learn to lump them all into one day and you celebrate ValBirthAnnivThanksMas and take pictures. My favorite quote of all time is from Winnie the Pooh and I really think it helped me and my husband. I grew up with my Dad on the road 9 months out of the year, the most important thing is you have to be confident enough to know that even if you havent heard their voice in 9 months that when they walk through that door they will run over and hug you and kiss you and shower you with all that pent up love. Trust will become soo important, I see girlfriends and wives ruin themselves by getting on here and other pages and taking their sailors distance whether it be emotional, physical, or even just lack of communication because of where they are personal. You have to be confident in yourself and your relationship. One last thing, you will learn to be fiercely independent. You might say you already are... I already was too but its a completely different thing you will surpass whatever level of independence you might have had. You will do things alone other women couldnt imagine you doing without him there. But know they are always with you and there are always other spouses going through the same thing willing to step up and help you through it.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”
― A.A. Milne

[esther22ship02div932PIR7-1]

You either need to be determined to make it work or let him go now.  Spec ops has a really high divorce rate...those guys need the world at home to be as steady as possible.  He's going to have enough to deal with, he needs you to be strong for HIM.  Be proud of him.  He's doing his country such a great service, you can do our country a great service too by being his main support and cheerleader!!  Good luck!!

 

[Jo (Wife of an ET Radioman)]

I'll be blunt, because I don't really know any other way to put it.

 

Either you gotta start learning to be more self-reliant, or you gotta let him go. There's no space in his life anymore for someone who is totally dependent on him mentally and emotionally. He needs a strong independent woman, and if you don't think that's something you can do, you should seriously just walk away now.

 

(Being angry is (probably) normal--I was angry for a while too after my fiance told me he was joining the NAVY.)