Just need someone to talk to

[nessaC27]

Hello! My boyfriend just joined the Navy but does not leave for boot camp until April (Thank goodness I have some time to prepare myself .) We started dating when we were 14, our freshmen year of high school. We're both 19 now and live together. He's my best friend and we plan on getting married sometime after boot camp. I've tried doing research on my own but who know better then girls who have actually been through it? I just really want to know what to expect, what not to do, hear any advice or experiences, and just have people I can talk to really. :) 

[nessaC27]

Thank you so much for that information! It's been a bit since I've been on here but he left for bootcamp last week. I moved back home to be around family and friends while he's gone.

[nessaC27]

Wow over a year . Mine will hopefully be for only 6-8 months. He left for boot camp a week ago and before that we did do a lot of looking up and reading information which honestly did help a lot!

[Jessica]

Hey, my boyfriend just graduated from basic training, today actually! 

My relationship is similar to yours. we lived together and complete best friends and definitely plan on getting married. 

The toughest part about the whole thing for me was the shock of separation. You're used to coming home and finding them there, or calling him when you get off work or whatever. Having him there all the time, then going to nothing. 

However, I did get to talk to my boyfriend more than I expected I would, but definitely not as much as I wanted to. Letters take a while to get to you and they hold letters until Sundays for the recruits. 

A good way I found to cope with the sudden separation was to keep a notepad or your phone with you, and anything that you would tell him that happened through the day, write it down, just as you would text him. My boyfriend got som epretty random letters, but he loved it and it helped me cope with it all. 

FYI graduation: I did not know this but while they are in their uniform, any PDA in public is not accepted lightly.. he couldn't hold my hand, he had to escort me everywhere. Rather annoying when you just want them to hold you and they cant hold your hand, but just a heads up! 

Hope this helped a little! Good luck to you both :)

[nessaC27]

Yeah he just left a week ago and I do admit that he has several random letters. Most because I haven't gotten a letter from him yet so it's almost as if I'm talking to myself :(

[Jilltayhart]

I understand what you're going through. My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 16 and he was 17, I'm going on 19 and he 20; we moved in together and have practically been through it all. The most comforting thing I can tell you is that the anxiety building up to his ship out date is maddening, but once he is gone, you'll feel a million times better. When you get your first letter from him saying how much he misses and loves you and how great he is doing it makes everything worth it. Also, make sure YOU DO SOMETHING WITH YOURSELF WHILE HE IS GONE! Don't just sit at home and knit. Have fun (be smart) with your girl friends, work for a promotion at your job, volunteer in your community, go to the gym, ANYTHING! Do it for you, your relationship, and anything to better a future for your future family. I've gained a lot of independence from him joining the Navy. I go through days where I just miss him and can't stop thinking of him, but most days are a countdown on when I can see my other half again. My boyfriend is in BC and his PIR is 02.07.14, he's training to be a DC in A School (damage controlman- on ship fire fighter). I hope you get comfort from my reply and know, in the end, everything will be great. However, there is no amount of preparing that can actually prepare you for you to be temporarily separated from your man.  Just have faith in each other, be honest, and faithful. Remember when you write him that you never sound miserable or burden him with problems at home he can't fix. Be upbeat, happy to write, and excited to be reunited. SEND LOTS OF LOVE!  Best of Luck to you!!!

[nessaC27]

Thanks! He left a week ago and so I get that almost sense of relief when he left. I miss him already but I am very proud of him because I always knew it was something he wanted to do. I've written him a letter every day so far. And I'm trying to keep it upbeat and positive but I moved back with my ,mom and welllllll I feel like that was a huge mistake. We're butting heads so much I can't wait for this to be over

[Mariee61513]

Hey. My fiancé and I were best friends before we dated and then we got engaged. Seven years total for everything. Before he leaves I advise you to cherish every moment. Argue as little as possible. Take advantage of the time you do have with him. Arguments look so small once their gone and honestly you'd give anything to have them home even to argue with. before he left I never realized how much a phone call truly meant. After he left I kept my phone on ring every day in the fear of missing a phone call. I only missed one phone call during boot camp and honestly it was devastating. I was so mad at myself and it ruined my day. As I sat in the car crying like a baby...somehow he called again. I don't wish a "missed call" upon anyone. Also, get out your pen and paper and write away. Send him pictures of things that are important to him; his family, friends, you. The letters I got have become keepsakes and our relationship has truly grown stronger. I also suggest to educate yourself on Navy terms. Best advice I can give you is to continue to live your daily life to the best of your ability. Don't sit at home and mope and start a countdown until you see him, that will make him worse. Also, try to avoid writing him how sad you are and how empty you feel...honestly you will probably be the only positivity he will get. Be that for him. Remind him how proud you are for him and that you know he will be victorious. They will have a lot of time to think and since he loves you, you will be in the forefront of his mind. You don't want him to sit and worry about you while he's already having a bad day. Try your hardest to ask him questions about his time at boot camp, his bunk mate, his job. Show an interest in Navy life. Becomes once we marry these men we marry the military too. That will always come first. I hope I helped at all

[Lizzie_Corpsmanwife]

Hey girl,

I was so mad when my husband didn't write to me because all these moms kept saying their sons and daughters were writing to them daily.  Once my husband called me I asked him what was going on and just tell me what he's doing, being kind and stuff.  Then he told me that he was in a leadership position, studying, getting ready that he could NOT write to me every day.  Plus my husband loves his sleep so he said that some of the recruits would stay up and write, write instead of studying.  Therefore, I said Oh my gosh honey I feel so dumb for getting upset, he assured me it's not like he doesn't want to write he just doesn't have time.  My husband has had nothing but 5.0 on his inspections and kicked some tail on all his tests so honestly, don't be mad if he doesn't write to you.  Time will fly by!

[nessaC27]

Yeah before he left, my hunny told me not to get mad if he doesn't write often because he knows how I can get.. And I can honestly see him doing the same, choosing sleep instead of writing and so I'm trying my best to prepare for a very small amount of letters( he's only been gone for a week now) . One thing that did upset me big time though was that he used the one call he could make to say he made if safely, to call his dad. We've been dating for almost 6 years now and we've lived together for the past year and a half.. But why he called his dad I do not understand. He has not lived with his dad for a long time because his parents are divorced. He used to visit him every other weekend but when we moved in together that sorta stopped. And his father is not a huge fan of me... So I'm a bit bitter about the whole thing. I just don't understand why he'd call him instead of me.. Sorry to drop that all on you girly. Haha.

[Lizzie_Corpsmanwife]

It's okay to get it off your chest before you explode on your man lol.  I kind of wrote all what I felt and THANK GOD he called me cause I would have sounded CRAZY lol.  Maybe he called his dad because he isn't going to talk to him anymore and don't take it personal, just know he will be calling you most so he just wanted to tell his dad hi.  I don't know their relationship and I am sorry I am not in your shoes.  My husbands only called me not his parents, his choice not anything I told him

[nessaC27]

Lucky. I don't know, I threw a huge fit and was crying all over the place but I'm over it now. I mean, it still makes me mad when I think about it but not enough to blow up on him because I know I'd regret it later. And I really hope time flys by.

[Anti M]

They are usually very rushed when the calls are made, maybe he could only remember his dad;s phone number under stress?  It happens.

Also, be aware that is is usual for many divisions to only be allowed to write on Sundays.  A few do allow it in the evening, but not all do.  If he does write when he is not supposed to after hours, don't post about it.  Someone may mention it to their SR, word might get back to the RDC, and then they are all in trouble.  Sounds crazy, but no one is as anonymous as they think on here!

Hang in there, boot camp is not forever.